My friends dh pays child support on a child he doesn't know or get to see. She considers it as one of their debts and counts down to when it is over. If you pay child support, do you consider it as one of your debts?

Well I don't pay child support but I guess it would depend on the relationship I had with the child. If I was the guy and didn't know the child/never saw them I guess I would count it as debt and if I were the wife of such a guy I would count it as debt too. Does the guy know that this child is actually his? If in question I'd consider it debt.

If the child was from a former union, if I were the ex (the guy) I'd consider it Responsibility.

Now if I were the wife of this man, definitely if he didn't know the child was his for sure I'd consider it debt. If it was from a former union, I'd consider it Responsibility. But truth to be told, I'd Also privately consider it debt.

My dh pays and my dss is turning 16 next month so I've started to treat it as a debt that will be paid off. My dh has never treated it that way. He will be almost 19 when he graduates though so it won't be at 18. He is looking into going into the Marines so I am assuming support will stop when he graduates. Funny thing she has NOT requested a review of the support order in 10 years! Every 3 years we both get a notice asking if we want a review and of course we never say yes because if he needs something he just has to ask, but she has never asked either and the only reason I can think of is that she doesn't want us to see her income, which hey is fine by me!!

Child Support Is A Big Part Of Our Lives. My Dh Pays Out And I Receive. Actually I Would Like To Think Of It As Debt In One Sense, In That Debt Can Be Paid Off. Child Support Doesn't End, Not Till Child Is Of Age, And Actually Can Go I Think Until They Are 21 If In College. I Consider The Support I Get As Income, Because I Need It To Get By, Its Not Just Extra Money. My Dh Pays Alot More Out Than I Receive And It Hurts Us. BUMMER!!!!

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Jennifer

Money must be managed first, spent later -Mary Hunt

If you have children, then they are your responsibility, whether they live with you or not so no, I don't consider it a debt! If I was the child, I sure would be hurt to think that my parent thought of caring for me as a debt! JMO

Yes in one since, I know many of my friends who get it are getting back child support. So yes if you are owning back support it is a debt and once the back is paid off then it is more of an expence. I wouldn't say it could be considered a debt. Can you make extra payments to pay it off faster no, can you ever pay it off no. It simply ends once the child is grown and on there own.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I don't think there is anything wrong with considering it a debt (we used to pay child support). It is definately money that is outgo instead of income. I considered it a fixed obligation, right up there with my mortgage and utilities. And yes, I definately counted down the time until our last payment. We didn't do this because we were looking forward to cutting off the child. What we looked forward to doing was helping out the child DIRECTLY instead of having to deal with hubby's ex-w as a go between. Even the kids would tell us that the ex-w would go shopping for herself when the check arrived and failed to use the money to provide clothes or extras for them. We reminded the kids that the ex-w was using money all through the month to provide for them so their child support money was definately going for their care. It just didn't seem that way to them when the physical check arrived in the mail.

Some custodial parents do make it extraordinarily difficult to have any interaction with the child. I know many non-custodial parents who have said, "It is easier on the child if I have nothing to do with them because everytime I have contact the custodial parent gets crazy."

My sister-in-law went through this with her two eldest boys. She left her extremely abusive spouse and he wouldn't let her take the boys with her. She acknowledges that she was so victimized by his abuse that she wasn't in any shape to take care of herself much less two small children. While she was recovering the ex-h disappeared with the children. She searched, hiring private investigators even, but couldn't find them. When the boys were teens she found them and tried to re-establish contact. She started paying child support plus arrears and got a visitation order. However, everytime she exercised her right to visitation the ex-h would do what she called 'a crazy dance on the boys' heads'. It got so that they didn't even want to see her for fear of how their dad would react when they got back home. This situation is called 'parental enstrangement' and it is just now being recognized in some courts.

Even if parental enstrangement isn't the cause for why some parents pay child support but don't have any contact, at least they are paying child support. The money is the easiest thing a parent can give a child. Obviously there is a whole lot more to being a good parent. But lets face it, if there are non-custodial parents out there who are perfectly happy with not having contact, then maybe they wouldn't be a very good parent to that child anyway.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

I Guess Either Way You Look At It, You Are Going To Jail If You Don't Pay It. I Have A Problem With Mothers Receiving It And Not Taking Care Of Their Children. When I Divorced I Tried To Be Very Fair To My Ex. My Husband's Ex Really Stuck It To Him In Every Way She Could. She Very Much Abuses Us And The Money She Receives. Sorry I Don't Mean To Get On My Soap Box. That Woman Can Really Get To Me.

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Jennifer

Money must be managed first, spent later -Mary Hunt

I don't really consider a debt. DH pays it, but his ex has recently been very easy to deal with, and DSS seems to get everything that he needs.

My first thought was to say no, but if he does not get to see this child, then, yes, I would probably consider it a debt. I just can't imagine being in that situation.

Is there a reason he doesn't see/know the child?

That is the sad part to me.