Maybe $20.00 is too much for you guys, but each of you should get something. Can you imagine him having to tell the guys he works with that oh I can't eat out my wife won't let me have any money? He will end up being resenful toward you. This used to be a sore subject with dh and I but I realised I was trying to be too controling and thats not good. Now I admit I NEVER eat out lunch because I am home but he does every once in awhile and thats ok with me. However there are times when I get little things like a bottle of nail polish.

Right Now My Dh Gets An Allowance. I Very Seldom Keep Any Money. My Dh Goes Through His Allowance Like There Is No Tomorrow. He Gets $70.00 A Week Which I Really Think Is To Much. I Sacrifice And Hope Someday Soon We Will Be Better Off And I Can Have An Allowance Too. Knowing Me Though I Would Probably Just Save It. I Think Buying Lunch On Cc Is A Nono. I Let Dh Have Cc For A Trip One Time And He Spent Like 15 Dollars At A Service Station. Talk About A Fight I Was So Mad. The Deal Was, He Would Only Use, If He Had To Stay Over Night. Well He Didn't And Used It Anyway And Didn't Tell Me. I Found It On The Statement. I Think If A Dh Does Great On All Other Aspects Of A Budget, Letting Them Have Pocket Money (amount Depending On Each Situation) Is Good, But With The Understanding When Its Gone, That Is It , Until Next Pay Period. A Little Encouragment Can Help Too. Brag On Him When He Makes It All Week.

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Jennifer

Money must be managed first, spent later -Mary Hunt

the only money i spend is on grocery and household items. dh gets to buyhimself 2 packs of ciggarettes a week and that is it, that is 20.00 i told him that if he wanted other things then he would have to quit smoking, it has to be one or the other, not cigs and more money on top of that, we can't afford it. i rarely buy anything for myself. i don't have any play money i see it as only fair that he uses his play money either for cigs or something else if he needs something else.to me cigarettes are not a neccessity, i used to be a smoker to and i quit, so i am not saying it not knowing what the addiction is like. if i were you i would sit him down and show him your budget, and make him see why there isn't extra money, and that your not saying it to be controlling or mean or anything.

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Kimberley

"there is nothing to worry about, just plenty to think about" from an episode of Extreme Makeover House edition

check out my blog:
http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...owjournal&j=21

Our initial plan was for my dh to take out $200 a week every Monday after work! Monday night I'd go grocery shopping and then whatever was left over would be our spending money! THEN, whatever was left over from our spending money would go into a pot for something we wanted! (doing this might get him excited about saving) The $200 was just an amount that I thought sounded reasonable. WELL, I've been doing much better than I planned and we always seemed to have a ton left over. I asked if he really needed more than $20 and he said probably not, so we each took $20 and put the rest back in for next week instead!

I also just finished reading Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover" an told Dh all about it! He's on board, although he hasn't read the book, and one thing I said we needed to do was get rid of the credit cards! He agreed so now we don't carry them! He does carry the debit card so he can take out cash once a week, but I've told him he can use it for hair cuts only IF he calls me first so I can make sure we'll have enough in the bank to cover it!

We do have gas cards we can use at Quicktrip, but it's usually not THAT big of a deal since we only use it for gas! I know occasionally dh goes to get a sandwich from QT for lunch, but I assume he's using his cash since I'm not seeing the charges on our bill!

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I used to fight it, but if it makes my husband happy with following the budget, I do it. Because Id rather him have a $20 limit, rather than sneak around and do secret charges out of spite.

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stay at home mom to my crazy toddler with sensory issues

Dh gets $40 allowance every two weeks and he spends it wisely. We both agreed that we need to get rid of our bills first then live a life like we want. Like right now, we both agreed that after all the bills are gone early next year we can afford to have a second vehicle and he wants a Honda Si (2007) but I told him if the salesman can get us a good deal below $18K we will do it. Its really hard though if your DH doesn't agree with you that's why it took mine a while but now he finally gets it and yes I am agreeing to what he wants for now that is. Besides what's the point of working your butt of trying to get rid of bills and then you don't reward yourself? We need a second vehicle that use less gas compare to our Toyota Sienna and with second vehicle it should lower the miliage down a little bit. I hope your DH will move on soon with all his wants and needs.

okay after reading your second post about it I realize we were at two different places. My suggestion would be to decrease the eating out from $40 to $30. I would also decrease other "fun" money u both share and give yourself each "play" money. I also think you need to let go of what he chooses to spend the money on. I really do understand b/c when my dh was out of work he would eat out instead of taking a lunch. It used to drive me crazy. It was a waste of money. I made him a lunch, blah blah blah blah. Your dh is rebelling like a child. Any two adults in a parent/child dynamic are doomed. I agree with most that the key is the two of you coming to an arrangement together. I do see that your dh is not ready for that. The only thing I can think of is for both of you to do all the bills together, even if it means it will take 10x longer to do. Whatever issue your dh has with money happened growing up. Look there and try to understand where he is coming from.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

I totally understand you and I go through the same thing. I stay out of the stores unless it's for groceries or something we really need. Dh is constantly spending money on cd's, eating out, etc. He acts like I'm depriving him if I say anything. This man has a collection of like 1,000 cd's!!!! I love to read, yet I gave up buying any books year's ago and go to the library. I have hand me down clothes for me and my dd's and I rarely buy anything for myself. I'm so tired of arguing with him about money because he's just so immature and never sees my point, even though he knows all our bills and what we owe he always just tells me to charge something if I want it. He just doesn't get it and I don't know if he ever will.

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I know it is difficult to budget everything that a household needs, but I do think you should find even a bit (maybe 10.) a week for your hubby to do with as he wishes. If he wants a magazine, then that's up to him. I'm guessing that there might be things that he thinks aren't wise purchases just because the differences between 2 people.

If your DH ends up resenting you or your relationship because he feels like he has no control at all, you may end up debt free, but without a hubby or family. Sounds extreme, but I bet there are lots of people on this board who could offer up a story or two about this happening.

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