I agree with this, but I am financially secure without hiding it from my husband. I guess that is the difference here to me. He knows I can support me and the kids if I had to, but for us it is more in a "if something happens to him" thing.

I have to admit, I am just really shocked by these numbers! If it is a special occaision stash your husband knows about, that is one thing, but to hide money just surprises me quite a bit. I guess I am naive - or lucky I don't have to worry about it.

Nope, I don't!

I wish I could stash money, but I am a spender! Plus, anytime I have extra money, I put it towards debt. If I did not have debt, then I would probably be better able to stash money away.

It is something worth considering though. I really wish I could do this for Christmas gifts. That would really help us out each December.

I don't feel my hubby would ever leave me, but if he did then I could find a good job pretty easily. I'm just glad my parents encouraged me to go to college. Right now I feel silly about being a SAHM and still paying off student loans, but it is well worth it. Plus, I know I will go back to work again some day.

Good idea regarding the secret stash though.

I had almost $800. hid in a jar at one time , then we paid for chrismas and ended up putting it into an ING account. I am tempted to start doing it again though. Its always nice to have something --just in case. I have been left high and dry one too many times in my past.

__________________

I just this morning had to hide the Christmas savings jar because DH is dipping into it! He just doesn't understand that it's not SAVED if you keep SPENDING it!!!!!

As for the bank account savings -- I haven't created an account in my name yet, but I plan to. I do not see that my DH and I will ever split, but I am a realist. I have watched many crazy things happen in the lives of my parents' friends and in the lives of my own friends. I do have a fund in my son's name. DS has step-siblings who, I am sure, would take him to the cleaners if anything happened to their father (my DH) and me. Having an account for my DS makes me feel like I am protecting him. To be very honest, my DH would not be happy. This is one area where we have very different opinions . . . . The money that goes into this account is money that I make babysitting.

This is a good poll! Interesting discussion!

Mar

something. A Christmas gift, a dinner out, etc. A girlfriend of mine stashed several thousand dollars in an account and then her husband found out about it. It actually caused a lot of difficulty for them, so I decided not to do that. Hopefully, it will not be an issue.

Michelle

I agree with everything you said Claire. Some of the responses are a little shocking to me as well.

Open a retirement account in your name if you are worried about the future, but to deceive by opening a savings account in another state/city and having the statements sent to someone elses house is something that I would never do.

Maybe my DH and I are just more honest with each other than most...

Thank you for putting my thoughts into words!! A realist is exactly what I was looking for!! I totally agree with you! My grandma is one of those people. She is very realistic and although she and my grandpa have never had even the remote thought of divorcing in over 50 years, she STILL has her own account with her own money that my grandpa doesn't know about. Most of that I think she had in a retirement account but she said that if she were to tell him, he would want to spend it on something neither of them need and its money she earned and so its none of his business what she does with it. He has plenty of money of his own anyway. I plan to roll over what I have into a retirement account or CD or something someday when the balance in the account amounts to something. Right now it really isn't much believe me!! Just small amounts here and there I've set aside.

Here's another thing too, we have two cars right now. One is in both our names, one is in my name only. Its essentially MY car. Does DH care?? No. Its something I brought into the marriage and I intend to keep it that way. There again, if something were to happen, I would take my car and he could keep the other. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea here, I love my DH with all my heart and he loves me. I honestly think if something were to happen he WOULD take care of us, but I just don't know. Like you Mar, I've seen it happen far too often to other people and I just don't want to be stuck if my worst nightmare came true. Just my opinion though and what I've been doing that works for me!

__________________


Mommy to Dakota, Wife to James
Proud Air Force Family

Would never do that. I think that it would undermine trust in the relationship. We have no secrets between us.

I do not nor would I. I asked my husband his thoughts on the topic and he said he would be upset with me and to be honest I would be upset with him also. If you discuss it with him and you agree on differnt accounts that is one thing.
I am in charge of the money in our house and I do have many different accounts, vacation fund, christmas, etc but they are all in both our names and he knows how much is in each. I know nobody goes into a marriage thinking of divorce, but I do know my husband and if we ever were to get divorced (god forbid) he would always take care of his daughter and I.