I think that's the term I'm looking for... the sort of people that can't stop themselves from spending. If they have a dime, they will find a gum machine. I'm sure we all know one or two.

The reson I started this thread is I am in total disbeleif as of late with my family. I get this long 9 page latter from my grandmother, the first 7 pages talking about how she has no savings account, and hasn't for years, and when her retirement checks didn't come in on time she was about to sell her car, and her house and etc, etc, just to buy groceries and pay utilities.... then the last two pages were about the 3 teir fountain she'd bought for her garden, and the new chinese statues and etc...

Meantime my Dad has declared bankrupsy. He just had his hearing, and if all goes as he plans, won't have to pay the debts when it's cleared in October. But... what's he done in the meantime? Went and spent a ton of money on Hallmark Christmas ornaments, coffee table books that he admitted he didn't really want, for $40 each, CD box sets, and boy does the list go on and on... He recently redecorated his entire apartment, and is the sort of person who will buy something, to change his mind about it a few weeks later and just give it away, yet all the while complaining how he has no money and no savings for retirement.

So my thoughts on this are why?! What in the world is it that makes people go out and spend on things they don't need, and don't even really want, and get themselves to the point where if they miss a paycheck, they freak out and it's the end of the world? I understand there are so many families that do have to live paycheck to paycheck, but I see all these wonderful posts about people trying so hard to make things better and cut expenses where they can that I can't beleive anyone would willingly want to live such a difficult life. So, why are so many people choosing to live in the moment if you will, and not even think about the future? I guess if nothing else, from seeing the way that some people are with money, it's helped me be much more careful with mine. I pray I never get likle my dad, where I can't go into a store without getting a big something, even if I don't want it.

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Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I think with compulsive spenders it's not the items they buy, but the act of buying that gives them the thrill. Then they get their purchases home and realize they don't really want them. I think it's really an addiction to shopping, which may sound silly. I do know people like this so I've thought about it quite a bit. I was headed down this road myself for a while, and I just had to stop myself from shopping recreationally. Now I don't go to Target (my store of choice for browsing and just buying whatever back then), I usually go to WalMart , which I hate being at and only with a list.

I think that most people that are compulsive shoppers are trying to fill some kind of void in their life. Shopping gives them some kind of rush and temporary happiness. Then after a day or two the happiness is gone, and they repeat the cycle all over again. I think we all know people like this. It's really sad.

My Mom was like this. I think it's something that just starts and then gets out of control. It started when I was really young and she had just divorced my Dad. Keep in mind I was 6, but she felt like she needed to keep us in a lifestyle we were accustomed so that I wouldn't feel bad about moving away from my Dad. Maybe it was HER rush & temporary happiness and I was just an excuse We couldn't afford it, and quite frankly I wouldn't have noticed. Once I got older, the cycle was already in motion. In recent years (she is now 72), her excuse was I am working all the time (she worked FT & PT to keep busy), I am older, and I should be able to have the things I want. It time that I just start living life as I want. She bought TOO many things she didn't need ~ impulsively, charged up large amounts going on vacations to see her other grandkids, and as of a couple yrs ago was .... $56,000 in debt. She just recently got remarried and I don't know what their decision is about what to do with it. She was getting help from a credit counsiling place, but who knows.

All I know is that I can see some of her in me, and it scares me! However, I am not even remotely going down that pathway ~ and god willing never will.

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Possibly OCD!!! Wow, I don't know anyone that goes to that extreme. I though my in-laws were bad with buying stuff they didn't really want or need to impress people but they never did so at the detriment of their finances and retirement.

I think it is possible it is addictive behavior just like gambling, drinking, smoking, and taking drugs. It would be most similar to compulsive gambling because no substance (which in and of itself causes addiction) is involved. The emotional rush might be the same as gambling. It would most probably point to an addictive personality. Just watch your children and train them well about finances. Personality is often inherited.

I'm starting to research this in my counseling sessions. I admit I'm a shopaholic and compulive spender. This i going to sound like I'm wining but I'm not. I'm finding myself through all this.

I shop because honestly it was the only thing I knew I was good at. Finding the bargains and running here an there. And too, it made me feel good and special. I didn't have to worry about my marriage or stress, because I was getting such a rush from it. Iwould buy just to buy. Clothes is my downfall. I'd find an excuse just to go the grocery store. I'd have to get banana's and come home spending 100 easily. When I was buying I was would think, if I dressed like that Brian would love me more or find me more attractive. It didn't really hit me until Kelsey said just put it on the credit card. That's 4 year old telling me that. I knew I had to do something, but I shopped to fill a void, loneless because of a bad marriage, no friends, it made me feel important, something I never had before EVER!!! I never felt good enough even now!! It's a horrible feeling to have, that emptiness and everyone looks at you like you have everything!!!

I'm doing better. I cut up all my cc and use cash only. I can't carry my envelopes with me, because I'll borrow from them. So I have a little book I carry around with me, with my prices of stuff, and what I need I take just that amount of money. Like milk is 4.15 a gallon and I need 2 a week so I only take 10 into wawa and put the change into the change jar.

Clothes I went through and my goodness I could open a store. I got rid of all the stuff that no longer fits or that I was hopeing to get into SOMEDAY!!!. IT's helping with the kids too to say no to them. I was always gettng them something a video, candy another toy, now no more. I don't have the cash to do. I'm finding that my kids value the time I spend with them coloring, cooking or just playing then shopping. This is a challenge everyday for me. But being on my own now, I have no one to fall back on, so I have no other choice.

I hope that gives you a bit of an inside look to the complusive spending!!!

I think there can be many reasons like OCD, something missing in their lives, low self esteem, etc. I know many people who do this, and I think I used to as well. I am watching a good friends family go through losing their house right now and we have to stand back and let them work it out. This is due to lots of spending what they didn't have, then skipping on paying their bills. We've already helped them before, so now there is nothing else we can do but listen to them and wait it out. If they ask, we will help, but otherwise, we wait. It's hard to see, but they can't learn otherwise if everyone is always helping them out of their debts. I am hoping their children learn from this as well. Because so far all they see is spend, spend, spend.
I know it sounds mean from our side, but they have a long history of money problems. No matter what happens, they haven't changed their ways. I do still listen, but that's it.
I know that there are a lot of families out there like this, I only pray that they learn before it's too late for them. It's a hard lesson to learn.

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Daycare mom

I feel it is just like any other addiction. Expect that friends and families don't always see the signs right away like you might a alcoholic.