We just adopted our second and are in the legal process right now. It's become quite protracted, for reasons I don't really want to share online. Our DS has also had multiple medical issues, which we're still trying to figure out. He had four surgeries at the end of June. That said, I made a really good salary when I was working full-time ($50K + / year). However, with the cost of daycare, gas, work clothes, lunches, etc., we would about break even with where we are right now with me working part-time from home. So, we'll work it all out eventually, even though I've been freaking out a little bit this summer. This has been the most difficult financial year we've had in eight years of marriage. Oh well. This, too, shall pass.

Michelle

I, too, agree that this doesn't have to be an all or nothing issue. When I graduated with my Masters degree, I wanted to do counseling (and did for about 5 years), I had accumulated over $45K in school loans. By the time my son was 6 mo old we had paid that off and had accumulated a LOT of equity in our home, had 2 paid off cars.

Yes, I know that some may consider me to be wasting my education being a SAHM, but I know that I could not work in the environment I did - getting my life threatened, calling Child Protective Services on an almost daily basis and have to worry about bringing enough $$$ in to the agency I work for, etc etc etc and come home and be a good mom. Let alone the fact that day care for 2 kids would be outrageous. For me, I want our children to have our values. I want to be there for our children when they are sick and as they get older I want to here when they get home for school so I know what is going on in their lives.

Now, that being said, I NEED something out of this house to put my focus on and gain value from. I am not good at keeping a clean house and don't really enjoy it or find fulfillment there. So, I have a home based direct sales business. I LOVE it. Not only does it get me interacting with adults, brings in extra $$, but I am helping people at the same time!! I can do it from home or when I can get dh or grandparents to watch the kids....

So, I get the best of both worlds and don't feel like I am sacrificing either.

In addition to all the things Girlscoutmom said must be considered, there is an income tax exemption for a spouse earning under $3300 (I think that is the correct amount). So, that is also a consideration when crunching numbers.

How much debt and the kind of debt is crucial in deciding whether to work. Mid-five digit credit card debt should send almost anyone back to work. A high mortgage at a low interest rate is different than high CC debt. The house is an investment at a relatively low interest rate, high CC debt is a signal to change one's lifestyle and the high interest rate should be a driving factor in getting one to want to get rid of it.

However, if you can survive on one income, even with the high CC debt for a couple of years and believe that is what you need to do (for example, until the kids are in school), then do it and live with the consequences.

Each and every family makes choices that have consequences, both positive and negative. Each of us must be able to live with the consequences (hopefully, peacefully) that those choices will produce.

Like the girls said. Look at what you bring home. Subtract gas,childcare,that car payment,
lunches, drinks and clothes. See what you really got left. Is it worth it to you? If your heart says I want to stay home and that tugging is there. I'd do it. I believe also if you make top pay and that tugging happens go for it! Alot of us will always have some kind of debt. We can downsize some.And learn how to stretch one income to meet the families needs. It would benfit the kids,you and your husband greatly!You can live happy and simply. Now, if you do decide to keep working I do respect that also. Bless your decision be what your heart craves most.

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Crystal Ann

To me, there will always be something that will require my money, my kids will only be kids for a very short while. I'm staying home with them for as long as I can. We do scrimp an awful lot to make this possible, but it's worth every minute.

Another thing to consider, when I was working before kids, most of my money went into travel, car upkeep, cloths for the job, lunches out. It made me sick when I figure out how much I actually brought home at the end. That's exactly when I put my 2 weeks in.

TO be honest the cost of daycare around me I was loosing money!! and that did not count Gas and food!! I feel I saved more money by being home!! I BF my kids that was free!!
I bonded with my kids that is priceless!! I think working has its benefits as well!! it all depends on each family!! for mine staying home is what was best!!

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I am officially a mommy! Nathaniel Kenneth, 05/01/07 & wife to Hubby Kenny


http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...wjournal&j=122

where did my post go?

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I am officially a mommy! Nathaniel Kenneth, 05/01/07 & wife to Hubby Kenny


http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...wjournal&j=122