When Relatives Buy Kids Too Much - Page 2

treehugger · 08-13-2007, 08:47 AM

We used to have this problem. I was an only child. My mom and dad grew up poor. They never wanted me to feel like they did, so at Christmas and my birthday, boy did they over do it! You could barely walk into the living room for gifts. My dad liked to see LOTS of gifts. One time he bought me 52 pair of underwear and individually wrapped them LOL. So naturally, when I had my son, he wanted to buy him lots of stuff too. (I'm smiling as I'm typing this). I don't have my dad anymore, but he was fun and he loved to see everyone else have fun too. Giving the gifts brought him so much joy. I'm glad I never told him to stop it.

I just had a funny memory I just have to share with you: When my oldest was a baby, my father bought him a Piglet that when sang a song and when you squeezed his tummy, he cracked up laughing while still singing. My dad called me up on the phone to let me listen to it and everytime Piglet cracked up, so did my dad. It was hilarious and one of the silly little gifts that I held dearly long after my dad died and Piglet didn't work anymore. To some it would be clutter, but to me it was something that brought joy.

It took awhile for me to make my mom understand that this is not what Christmas needed to look like. Without Dad, I knew she couldn't afford to do this and we sure couldn't afford to keep up with it. My little guy said last year after unwrapping presents, "Next year, can we just have one gift from each person?" I told my mom and she was relieved as were we. Somehow my kids learned that it's not about the amount of gifts even though they had a lot of them.

I think the thing to remember is people are giving presents out of love. We can explain to them that they don't have to spend a lot of money, but it's also important not to take their joy away and hurt them.

jmp2675 · **I say YAH**

My in laws by my kids alot before and we kind of hinted to buy them things they NEED instead of junky toys now they by clothes and shoes and stuff like that and junky toys too but then I have money to buy zoo membership and things like that so I say go ahead. I must sound soo awful!

MandaRenee · 08-13-2007, 01:58 PM

My parents are the one that buy most of the stuff for the baby, but they are excited she is their first grandchild and they are just over the moon about it. I think once it sinks in and as she gets older it will be different. Besides they are great about buying things like clothes, and other essentials. My mom is big on not cluttering up so that will be really helpful. She is going more for quality than quantity now.

Dh's family doesn't have a lot of money to blow besides they are so used to supporting dh's sister and our neices that I don't think they will be an issue.

Right now I think the main culprit is that there were 50 people at her baby shower--that is a lot of gifts!!!

stevesgal · 08-13-2007, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CindyB

I am new here and I am very happy to know that others deal with this as well. We have multiple problems with gift giving grands. My MIL and her husband don't do anything we ask. They give too much, too often, and with out any regard to our needs as a family. They like to buy some of our Santa gifts to help out. The kids only asked for 3 things last year from Santa... we said that we would just do that ourselves. At mid-night on Christmas Eve, they arrived with "a few things"... 4 LG BLK GARBAGE BAGS full of junk. We put it out because we didn't want to hurt their feelings. Now, they also come over at the crack of dawn Christmas morning (how can we say no when they've helped us through Christmas year after year) So, when the kids wake up to see Santa gifts..:

OMG

- that is just like me- only though it is with my parents!! My mom and stepdad do the same exact thing for Christmas (buying extra gifts to "help us"- if you want to hel us- give us some cash to pay bills

- just kidding!). On top of giving us extra gifts- they give a ton of gifts to them (including a 5 ft. stocking!). Everyother weekend my mom is buying the girls a new DVD or book- which is so much better than buying them toys all the time (which they did until I turned blue in the face over the toys!).

Anyways- it is nice that my kids have 1 set of grandparents who spoil them compared to my Inlaws who really do nothing for our girls (especially compared to the other cousins!).

brensmom · 08-14-2007, 12:40 PM

my in-laws are constantly buying our kids stuff every time we just stop by the family business to visit grandpa has something new for them. two weeks ago i made the boys decide each what was there favorite type of toy one said transformers the other hot wheels and cars. i then made them pick a type of toy they both like they picked swords and play guns. so that is what we kept we got rid of everything else oh and they each got to keep 5 stuffed animals(that was the worst for them lol). so we donated many toys to the local hospital peds floor we took several loads to goodwill(it was insane how many things my kids had) then we are going to put our thomas trains(die cast ones not the recalled ones) and all our rescue heroes on craigs list. once those sell we are going to take the money give half to charity(they need to see giving feels good not just getting) and then the other half we will do something fun like bowling. now grandma and grandpa realize that we don't want the junk since they had to get rid of a ton after years of telling them i think they might be getting the idea.