This is a spinoff on the article about spending too much on kids. It seems based on a lot of your responses that you aren't the ones idulging them; but rather your parents, in-laws or other relatives are. What are some ways that you can avoid this? It is easy to place blame on relatives, but in the end it is up to the parents to control the situation.
Sometimes it is hard to bring up the subject without seeming to step on toes, however. How do you handle these situations?

I recently heard of one family asking that in lieu of gifts for their child, they asked relatives to give them "experiences" - a trip to the movie, a museum pass, etc. I thought this was a great idea.

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As I posted in the other thread, my younger daughter turned 5 yesterday. Her party is today. So I've been fielding calls about what she'd like. She's pretty easy to buy for...loves Pooh bear and Polly Pocket stuff. Anyway, my kids have become obsessed with Idog and Icat. I didn't really know what it was but saw it at Walmart and that it was almost $30 and $20 for the bag! My girls have both told my MIL they would like one of these. She always buys them anything they ask for because she is physically limited and feels like it's the only way to show love. After doing more research, I see that these little robots use Ipods to work! My kids don't have Ipods!!! DH says let them get the gifts and see how worthless they are without their $70 'accessories'. I hate to think of wasting that money! Very frustrating.

I did ask my MIL once to buy my daughter a week at swim camp for her birthday. She did do it but I know she didn't like buying it because it wasn't a 'gift' that she could open. But I promise that because she was actually swimming by herself by the time she turned 3, it was a better gift than anything she could have unwrapped. Talk about pride!

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Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. ~Oscar Wilde

I don't have this problem. I guess my kids are lucky, no one spoils them LOL!

My parents and my sister each send my kids one present on their birthdays and on Christmas. The presents are usually $10-$20 each from my parents and less than $10 from my sister. My mil does not buy gifts, she will send us Target gift cards to use for whatever the kids need. We don't exchange gifts with any other relatives.

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DH's parents live in another province so they feel guilty about not being here. I finally convinced them to just send a cheque for birthdays and Christmas. Alex turned 2 in April and they sent him $200!!! What does a 2 year old need with that much money? I just put it in his bank account.

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I am one of the ones that listed this as a problem but for us I think it's sheer numbers. We have 4 kids and 9 people besides us buying gifts so even if everyone only buys 1 gift and we only buy 1 gift that is 40 gifts we bring into our house at xmas. Generally it is 60 gifts. That is alot of stuff!

I am all for consummable gifts. I lots of times put movie theatre tickets, bowling, eating places and the like but no one buys them. I think there is still the wanting to get a "gift to open".

For us though I am getting better about getting them things they can use for part of their present such as clothes or bikes.

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I can't get upset or annoyed that family buys a lot for our kids...isn't that what "grandma" or "aunties" are for? They love to do it, I wouldn't take that from them. We have very generous family that give not only gifts but trips, activities...gosh, all kinds of things. I think it's kinda nice. My kids don't act spoiled or bratty and have wonderful manners. So it's not as if any of the 'stuff' is corrupting them.

I think often family WANTS to buy something...and it doesn't really matter if you think it's too much or whatever, they want to do it. Is it worth fighting/being annoyed etc about it? I know I love to spoil my neices...they're only small once. I guess I don't really understand the big deal...

I love the idea of the "experiences" I think this year I will suggest things for there gymnastics and also half of a session etc!! mybe even the $ for the costume!!

if the gift part comes something like a homemade gc and put it in abox and wrap it!!
or get a little frame and put a note in it and say save a pic of this to put it in!!

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Kelly mom to 2 gymmonkeys!!!

I don't like it in the sense that most of these people are just doing it to 'buy". My mil was the type that jkust wanted a huge pile of presents under the tree for the grandkids- didn't matter what junky toy it was, or that thekids really liked it, she just bought alot. She would buy things that SHE liked as a child, and it would end up the tomboy grandughter would get a babydoll. At one time there were 3 girls grandchildren, and all 3 were getting the same.exact.gifts- even though they spanned about 7 years difference. She would just buy everything in triplicate.

To me that is blatant waste, and being the extremely practical person I am, I would cringe to see money spent on things my kids would never use. and most of the stuff my kids would get, we would just donate or regift, and it never made it out of the original box.

my mother, however would give pratccal gifts, and while she also seemed to buy a pile of stuff, she would do things like wrap a book set individually, so the kid would be opening 6 presents, or stuff like that. it looked like a pile, but really wasn't and her gifts were so much more useful, and personal toward each child. I was so grateful in those younger years that she was giving such useful gifts in a semi- large quantity, I felt like I could buy less and the kids would still have a good christmas.

so on one hand, it's really nice when the realtives all buy a bunch, because then I don't feel compelled to buy as much, but on the other hand, if all they are buying is junk, just to buy a pile, that's NOT helpful at all.

I am new here and I am very happy to know that others deal with this as well. We have multiple problems with gift giving grands. My MIL and her husband don't do anything we ask. They give too much, too often, and with out any regard to our needs as a family. They like to buy some of our Santa gifts to help out. The kids only asked for 3 things last year from Santa... we said that we would just do that ourselves. At mid-night on Christmas Eve, they arrived with "a few things"... 4 LG BLK GARBAGE BAGS full of junk. We put it out because we didn't want to hurt their feelings. Now, they also come over at the crack of dawn Christmas morning (how can we say no when they've helped us through Christmas year after year) So, when the kids wake up to see Santa gifts... they said simply, "We only asked for three things. What is all of this?" Of course, it wasn't long before they loved the huge mess under the tree. I like the idea of activity gifts instead of more toys, but they already do that each week. They ask to do things in front of the kids, where we look bad saying no. The kids have become accustomed to gifts plus movies and other activities. Sometimes when my husband and I give them a gift, they look dissapointed that it isn't bigger and better. We are working on getting this under control. Look for more post on the In-laws crossing boundries from me in the future... what the kids eat, bedtimes, discipline... you name it, it's a problem.

I'm glad to hear about others with this same problem. Both my DH and I are only children, so our kids are spoiled rotten. For Christmas, the older kids now ask each set of GPs for a specific item. That has really helped to cut down on the clutter.