I seem to be having a problem w/ the way I look at debt and the way dh does. He doesn't seem to be too interested in paying debt down, just getting by every month and keeping his hobbies going . His solution to our problem is that I should make more money. We make enough w/ my part time job and his full time one. We have almost $200 left after expenses and somehow it never gets put toward debt or savings. I just want to get us out of this debt so we have more freedom w/ our money and he just wants more money. I'm so frustrated. How did you get your dh on the same page as you financially?

I read the Total Money Makeover and was so excited, finally a plan I could understand. Well, DH wasn't too interested in hearing it...Then he gave me $500 to begin our emergency savings plan and told me he has so much going on at work, let him know step by step, he did not want to hear it all at once. Luckily we had that money, the a/c went out on my van and it was over $400 which we could've paid for but then not sent extra to other debts. Now we need to rebuild it, but he sees my way of thinking now.

What goals do you and your husband have? Is there someting big you both want? New house? Car? Vacation? Retirement savings?? Sit down with all your debts and a plan, and list those goals. Make a list of what you can cut back on or do without. Discuss it calmly, and good luck to you!

Crunch the budget using only his salary--is it doable? Not easy, but possible? Quit your job. My husband had a major turnaround in his money perspective when we became a one-income family. My salary started as a necessity, but as he moved up in his job, it became a cushion and a crutch. We have financial freedom on one income that would never have been possible while he was thinking, "we make good money, we can afford it!"

We pretty much are a one income family. I work 1 day a wk. (I am on call at a care facility) so my income covers what his doesn't (we had a deficit of about a $100 each month). So I have to work now. I was a 100% sahm since last April but he stopped getting a lot of overtime and we had another payment each month w/ the plumber. I feel like he does use my income as a "crutch" like you said but don't know how to stop this.

Write everything down. Maybe once he sees everything in black and white he'll understand and stop spending.

I don't know how I got DH to turn around. Maybe because how excited I was about saving! He would see me clip coupons and rave about how much I saved - he was so proud of me he would rave about how much I spent and saved at the grocery store! But when he buys something or wants to buy something, I always ask him does he "need" it. He hears me complain because there is something I want but I don't need and would rather save the money - I think by setting a good example for him and being excited about my accomplishments, I have gotten him on board too.

He paints homes, and he gets excited when he gets stuff for free because some people don't want it anymore - I guess they clean out their rooms before they get them painted and get rid of the stuff - he has brought home light bulbs, a nice table to refinish, toys for the baby...He gets excited that he is able to save in a way that I can't and is proud of it.

Give him time - it takes time to get them on board. But it is possible. If you reduce your debt on your own and get him excited about it, you could get him on board that way too. Good luck!

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Mom to Kaylee (10/2006)
Waiting on our second bundle of joy to arrive January 2009!

We have friends that b/c of so many student loans, putting wedding and honeymoon on CCs etc etc they just "don't think they can get out of debt so why try?" They keep getting the latest gadgets etc and making bad financial decisions.

Maybe you have tried this...but what I would do is just in casual start dreaming with your dh about when he wants to retire what he wants to do when he retires etc etc. Let him go like that for a long while. Then ask him how he thinks you guys can get there. If you are still paying on debt at 65 or 70 he probably won't be able to retire even if you have saved for retirement.

Maybe getting him to dream about the future he wants and then realizing that he can't get there the way he is going he may decide making changes is the best route to go. You may also want to work the figures and show him how long it would take for you to get debt free using the snowball method so that he can then see that it can be a reality for you both.

I prayed! Seriously. I had tried to show him our expenses (and available income) written down in black and white. I tried asking if he really needed something. I clipped coupons and raved over my savings. I showed him big ticket items I wanted to buy like furniture for our house (but needed to pay debt off first). But he really wasn't that into it. He just ignored it. I used to get so stressed out over it, but then realized that I wasn't going to change him and turned to the only one who could. I prayed that God would turn DH around in his financial viewpoint and thinking. I prayed that instead of going against the necessary frugality of our lifestyle, that DH would openly embrace it. It didn't take very long actually - God does things pretty quickly if you just get over yourself and go to Him about them. Anyway, he had come to the point where he was willing to adhere to the budget, but on his day off he'd be all "let's go to the pool, let's go to the store, let's do this/that" which he knows frustrates me when we're broke (I don't want to be barraged with places to go that cost money we don't have). Finally, two days ago, there was a HUGE breakthrough! He came to me with a plan to crunch and pay off our debt sooner so we could get a new tv for Christmas as a joint gift (instead of buying presents for each other). Then he got excited and wanted to save some money after that to get more furniture (like a couch, etc) and some paint for the house.. he's excited, as am I. and I'm going to keep the momentum going if I have to rave about "his" great idea everyday until our first pay off (new tv). sometimes you gotta make them think it was THEIR idea. LOL Men.

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I showed him the numbers. I wrote everything out on a sheet of paper and said here is what we owe monthly, here is the CC debt including interest rates. I am anal about keeping records of what I pay to who and how much, not only in the checkbook, but on another peice of paper that I keep in the bill folder (each month has one). I showed him what went out every month with CC debt, and what goes out when there is none. It is a big enough differnce to make him say Wow...and he has been on board ever since.

Also, every once inawhile I throw him a bone so to speak, if he wants something reasonable, I say Oh go ahead you deserve it, and it keeps him happy for awhile...He works very hard for our family and sometimes he needs to be rewarded too....

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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass~ It's about learning to dance in the Rain