Spinoff on allowances: What to do when your child is NOT frugal?

Claire · 09-05-2007, 09:26 AM

My son (7) gets an allowance of $1 a week. I will not raise it yet because, honestly, he spends it on JUNK! I discourage it, tell him he can't do it, etc. But, my husband tells me I need to have him learn it the hard way and let him spend the money. I just don't want the hard way to be when he is 20 and in college!!!!

I talk about money. Explain how to save. I explain how dh makes money by going to work, etc. It just frustrates the FRUGAL person in me to NO END how he spends money! We don't do that!

Any ideas or does anybody else have this problem? I have thought of requireing him to save a portion of it, tithe a portion of it, etc.

ember15 · 09-05-2007, 09:45 AM

Not yet but DD is only 16months yes she gets $5 a month allowance It goes into a savings account. He is little I would let him spend it on junk though when he wants something bigger he will eventually want to save it. Telling him that no you won't buy him things but he can save hi allowance might work. My mom gave me money to buy x-mas gifts (not other things) I had to learn to budget it so I could get everyone something little. It helped alot

Kim · 09-05-2007, 09:47 AM

I don't know if I can offer any advice because we have the opposite problem. Dd (also age 7) saves every penny of hers; and will NOT spend it. This sounds like a good problem, but I would love her to realize it's OK to treat herself once in a while instead of hoarding her money!

Anyway, I just read an article that encourages kids to save, share, spend their allowances. If you gave him $3 instead and required that one dollar gets saved he would see that it does in fact add up over time. The other dollar could be given to church or charity and the final dollar could be spent as he saw fit.

BlueSky · 09-05-2007, 09:57 AM

I'm starting to teach my 19 months old DS how to help me around the house so that he can get "paid" for the stuff he's doing. He feeds the dog , help me put away his toys, sort laundry, carry trash out. He get about $2.00 every two weeks. I normally give him coins so that he can sort them out. I help him seperate the "going to spend" and " going to save" money. Then he put the "save" part in the piggy bank and the one he's going to spend in his little wallet that hangs around his neck. When we go out in the store he picks out what he wants and if he doesn't have enough money I will always tell him that he needs to put it back and get something below his limit. He's starting to understand the concept.

AyeOhKay · 09-05-2007, 10:09 AM

We require are children to save and give (church offering/donations) along with their spending allowance. They all receive a different amount, according to age and we do tie some allowance to chores. For instance, my seven-year-old gets $7 per week. He must give $2, save $2 and has $3 to do with whatever he likes. We do make them pay for some of their own things - special karate classes (this occurs once a year at $30), special clothes outside the norm (we provide basics, not extravagances), etc.

They go through spells of spending on junk, but quickly realize it wasn't worth it and start to save for nicer, bigger items. We sometimes put spending freezes on at our house. That means there are to be no unnecessary purchases - DH and I participate in this, too. They usually occur just before birthdays and Christmas. This sometimes opens their eyes to how "quickly" their weekly allowances can add up, too.

It's a tough thing to figure out, and each kid is different. I hope you find something that works for you! Good luck!

Oregano · 09-05-2007, 10:15 AM

I think it's important for kids to make their own mistakes with their money...because that's how they learn. We haven't had too many instances of this with our kids, they're really big savers. There have been a few things they've bought that they've regretted later but I think they've remembered those times and I think it's useful. They often see something they want and then tell me "I think I'm going to think about it for a few days" and then often, they decide they don't want/need it afterall.

desertmom · 09-05-2007, 10:28 AM

I have my son save half of his allowance, and he can spend the other half. His favorite thing is to buy Transformers or Bionicles. I don't mind, because they are good for his creativity and motor skills. He really wanted one last week but didn't have the money outside of his savings, so I "lent" him money, saying that it would be his allowance for the next few weeks. He's learning the value of money, while knowing that he's not going to have it to spend until his loan paid off.

KathrynHannah · 09-05-2007, 11:09 AM

I've got one of those too!

ds (age 9) spends every penny he gets and dd saves, saves saves. I wish I knew how to encourage him.

The one thing we did was offer 'interest'. For every $100 in their bank they get a $2 bonus. (They get $10 a month). Ds is still making $10 a month, dd is up to $14! I thought that would encourage him to save more but it doesn't.

I'll be looking here for advice too ... some kids I think are just born spenders and others are born savers. My brother and I are like that. And he's still spending and I'm still saving.

flybygrace · 09-05-2007, 05:00 PM

When my brothers worked with my dad and he "paid them", my dad would keep the money and would be aware of how much they had earned. My dad wouldn't let them spend it on crap though. He'd tell them that it was dumb to work so hard and sweat so hard to get a piece of junk product, so he wouldn't give them the money unless it was something of value. I don't know how much it hurt or helped my brothers now that they're older, but while my dad was lord of their earnings, they managed to save up for snowmobiles and gear for hunting (like a bow, etc).

On my husband's side, they were never given allowance when he was growing up, but suddenly his parents starting giving it to his two younger brothers a couple years ago. Only one brother (the youngest) is getting it now, but they are/were required to pay their car insurance from it, and tithe to the church. Dh's younger brother never saved a dime from his paychecks for a while, but then his mom made him (setting the requirement for the youngest brother now). I think once they really earn their money by being subjected to the real world of working and responsibility (their having to pay the car insurance), they see how far the money has to go. And they see it whether they have money in their pocket all the time (budgeting & saving) or whether they've blown it all the day after payday and sit broke as a beggar for 13 more days (I think it's a whole lot clearer sometimes when they've blown it all). If nothing else, I would make your son save a portion of it and tithe 10% to the church. Teaching him to save part of his money may be a stronger lesson than forcing him to not spend his money on stupid stuff. Some people just like to spend their money. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as its within their means and they are willing to live with what they bought, either happily or regretfully. I think teaching a child to tithe 10% teaches him about graciously giving back to the Lord in thanks for what He has blessed him with.

Maryfs · 09-05-2007, 08:52 PM

Ds has some chores to do. Its up to him to keep track if he did them.(we have a chore chart) As he does them he puts a star next to it. Now if he forgets to mark it down or if he doesn't do the chore he doesn't get paid for those chores. So lets say he has the possibility to make $2.10 a week doing his chores. He gets .10 for each chore(not hard or time consuming chores). If he does something extra he could earn more money. He usually averages about $1 a week. He usually wants to spend money on candy. I try to tell him that he is spending more than he is making in a week and will eventually be without money.