Next month I will finally be a SAHM. I'm excited about it but also not used to not having "my money". I always take some extra cash out of my paychecks to blow on whatever I want - not much but some.

My question is, do you take out some spending money from your DH's check? If so, how much is reasonable? I did ask him if I'd get spending money and he joked that I could earn it but I don't want to have to do that all the time.

I usually use some money for something for myself. Something small like an icecream or a lunch out.

I never really considered money "his" or "mine" even when I did work. It all goes to the same bank account and is spent for all of us. Since I am at home, I am the one who spends the money since DH doesn't have the time or the care to shop for our household. The only shopping that he likes to do is grocery shopping as a family once a week and for video games. Other than that he trusts my decisions when it comes to buying stuff for the 4 of us.

So I don't ever feel bad about spending a little money on myself. Besides my job as a SAHM is waaaayyy more valuable than any regular job that I would get paid for. I am raising our kids. And that job is very underpaid and overworked...but sooooo worth it in the end. So any money I spend on myself I think of as reimbursements for my sanity.

DH and I do have an agreement that if we are going to spend any more than $100 on a single item that we discuss it together before purchasing.

Sandra

i spend the money when and where i see fit but we also have never had the mentality of my or his money. its always been our money no matter who earned it. did you guys have seperate accts for your money? if so maybe you need to sit down and say ok i'm gonna take x amount of money each month if that would make you both feel better about it. you both need to be on the same page about the money.

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SILENCE IS GOLDEN BUT DUCK TAPE IS SILVER.

We don't split money either. I have a seperate account but, if I need money he just transfers it. We understand we are on a budget and both need to be responsible!

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Maggie - Nanny to Nephew- Christian- Mom to Caitlyn Marie!!

We've been on a budget since we got married 9 years ago. We always got $80 a month to do whatever we want (eat out, buy little things that we want, etc.). So, now that I am not working, we still get that same amount. We haven't changed since we've been married.

All our money goes into one checking account so it's not his/mine, etc. I am the one in control of the finances so I know when I can buy something I want, etc. I don't buy alot for me but I can pretty much buy whatever I want whenever I want if I wanted to as long as it is reasonably priced. Of course since I do the budget it's easier for me to do that. I think the amount would depend on your income and how much you have available. Obviously if your husband makes more then you should get more, but if you are strapped then you won't be able to. You will just have to talk to your dh and see what's there and decide on the same amount for both of you to do whatever you want with. That is fair.

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A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.-Eleanor Roosevelt

It's our money, even if I "only" work at home. I spend what I want (obviously keeping budget in mind) and he does the same, but like other posters, we discuss bigger purchases. We always go over the budget together so we both always have in the back of our minds what's reasonable to spend and what isn't.

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Vicki
Mama to Princess, 5 and Wild Thing, 3
Progress Since 1/6/09:

I'm 22 years old and, sadly, never worked a day in my life. I went to college for awhile. Was only a few courses away from my associates and then I got married. Since dh was military I never bothered getting a job since we were usually moving around every 6 months. Anyway, I was a stay at home wife before I was a stay at home mother. The moment we got married his money became OUR money. He's never had a problem with it. I usually just spend money however I want unless I start spending more the hundred then I'll call him and tell him and make sure it's okay, which it usually is.

We both see me staying at home cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of the baby, and all the other miscellaneous things I do around here as quite enough 'earning' to spend 'his' money.

For one thing, it is not his check!! It is both of yours!! You can still alot yourself some spending money!!

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~Happiness is a large family~

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. James 1:19

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24

This is one of the adjustments BOTH of you will have to make when you become a SAHM. Trust me, there are all sorts of stages you'll be going through. That's okay. We'll be here to support you every step of the way.

After I became a SAHM, one year, I was lamenting about wanting to purchase something special for hubby for Christmas. I talked to him about it without telling him exactly what I was planning on getting because I didn't want to invest in the item until I had a better idea if it was something he would appreciate. His response was, "It isn't really a gift because you're using my money to buy it anyway." I was very hurt, shocked (I thought we had gotten way past that mind-set) and ANGRY. I definately gave him 'what-for'. I don't know if he changed his attitude toward 'our money' vs 'his money' but, at least, now he knows not to make comments like that.

My advice is to think of it this way .. if you were the breadwinner of the family and hubby was the one who stayed home and took care of the house and kids, what would you want him to do?

I believe everyone needs to have a little 'walking around' money in their pocket. One of the reasons I give my DD an allowance is so she has that little bit of independence as well. That fits right along with my philosophy that everyone in the family benefits from the family's assets as well as shares in the family's burdens or responsibilities.

The amount of money should be porportional to whatever makes sense in your budget.

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