I have quite a few friends who do 3 gifts, just like Jesus. I am just not that disciplined. SInce I shop year round I usually have litle things that add up.

allgirls

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

you know that is such a blessing to me to hear you say all that and isn't that the truth you never do know how truely blessed you are until you see people that don't have anything!!!

I don't have kids yet---we will next year---we are really busy christmas day so the soup kitchen idea wouldn't work for us, but i think that we are going to tell our children that we are going to go to the store and buy christmas for another family that is truely in need, we will each pick out a gift that WE would want and give it to that family instead...so our family will know that one of there gifts went to someone that would not have had anything and we will go without that gift! My hubby and I did this last year with the angel tree ministry we picked out two kids and we both bought for them instead of us...IT WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN!

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Danielle

You took the words right out of my mouth!! My kids love tradition and they love to do things as a family. I hope it stays that way, they are 11 and 7 now. My twins still believe in santa! Or at least I think they do, theyve never said otherwise.

As for gifts - they all make lists and I tell them they can put whatever they want on it, it doesnt mean they'll get it! They get what they get, we do the best we can and really think about what to buy them... is it something they really want (and why)... will they use it 2 months from now...etc.

My kids are 15,12 and 6 they don't care what they get for Christmas (we get them a couple presents but no over the top one's) and they are Very happy. They care more about the other things having to do with the holiday like traditional foods and presents to unwrap (but not huge one's). I don't think my children are the only children who feel this way...... I am sure most kids would appreciate this.


Barb C

Well, our family has had it both ways...about 9 years ago, we were on a strict budget, I had 100 to spend on EVERYTHING for the week...including food, clothing, gas, etc...so yard sales became very important. At Christmas, we really tried to limit the girls to 100 dollars each and they got to pick out their own gifts, so it took the pressure off, I didn't want to waste any money on a gift that wasn't what they wanted. They had so much fun shopping and spending their money, that was almost a bigger gift, and even though it wasn't a "surprise" we still wrapped up everything and put it under the tree, half the time, they "forgot" about it, and they were really happy when they got it later!

That being said, even though we "have" more resources now, the Christmas "thing" has gone on. They still only get about 200 each to spend, and now they request that at least one big gift be a total surprise. We live in an affluent area & their friends get new cars for Xmas, so it may look like alot to some, but for us, it's more like "keep your head in reality"...

For us, that was the only money we spent on them besides new clothes for the school year and one shopping trip in the Spring, so the amounts represent getting new clothes and stuff as well. Now they make their own money, being teens, and supplement their expenses & I think will do well financially, because they have seen us go through all this...

Let's face it, you have LOVE and you don't need toys...kids are very happy with just making cookies and just about anything from anything, even cardboard boxes...

Deborah

The worst Christmas I ever had was the first one after my ex left.

He bought himself a huge pick up truck a week after moving, he could barely afford the payments, by Christmas he was in trouble. He asked if I could make the payment for him 4 days before Christmas and he would pay me back on Christmas Eve. I had exactly $500 that I had saved up all year for Christmas - this was less than half than what I used to spend we were we married. His truck payment was $485 - I reluctantly gave him the money - he knew what it was for and promised he would give it back on time. I had to call him Christmas eve to ask for the $$ - he told me he had to cash his check and would drop it off on his way to work.

I had no presents and no money to buy any. All my credit cards were maxed out from heating and car repair bills. I was not getting any kind of child support, or alimony and I made $300 a year too much for any kind of low income assistance.

He was supposed to be at work at 3pm, at 3:30pm I started to cry. My kids were long past believing in Santa so I was able to be honest with them. I did not make their dad out to be a bad guy - all I said was their dad had money troubles and needed to borrow the money. I did not tell them he stiffed me for it.... he ruined our holiday I was not going to let him hurt the kids anymore than he had already.

We sat up late and played board games, they were so good - very understanding and assuring that it was ok. I wish I could have shared their optimism. Christmas day they gave me the presents they bought for me - all I could do was cry. We spent the day together watching movies, cooking and baking.

I can't imagine how hard that would have been if they were younger and still believed in Santa, it would have killed me to deal with it then.

goin24/7
My kids were long past believing in Santa so I was able to be honest with them. I did not make their dad out to be a bad guy - all I said was their dad had money troubles and needed to borrow the money. I did not tell them he stiffed me for it.... he ruined our holiday I was not going to let him hurt the kids anymore than he had already.

Truelly inspiring! I was sooo happy that you were strong enough to keep the full truth from your kids. Most divorced parents these days (mine included) do not act as mature and civilized as you. I am a true believer in letting your kids be kids even through a divorce. Im not happy of course for the misfortunes, but, you certainly deserve some recognition for being so noble. You are a GREAT role model for your kids! YOur even a better person for trying to help out your ex.

I know this is a little off topic, but, I think adults who can behave in the childrens best interest despite their own feelings and emotions need more positive feed back bc there are too many involved in divorces who put the kids in the middle and use them against their ex's that get all the attention.

I nominate you mother of the week...you really made my day

Reading these posts has brought tears to my eyes. I know I'm not the only one that has hard times. Here lately saying I've been stressed is an understatement. We are playing catch up on our bills and it seems that what can go wrong does. I'm not going to go into all the details but I know you all understand what I'm saying. I have two boys ten and seven. I want to focus more on family fun and the true meaning of Christmas than to get "wrapped" up in all the gift giving and worrying about money. I hate telling them we can't afford this or that but sometimes we have to be realistic. Actually it seems that my youngest understands better than my oldest. Maybe it's because my oldest has been spoiled a bit when we were doing better financially? Anyways this year I will get them a few things to unwrap and most of them will be from the dollar store but it always could be worse. I am thankful for what I do have.