I am so sick of arguing over money with DH...we are always in the same roles...he is the "bill payer" and the "bad/cheap guy" who never says we have enough money and I am the "buyer/spender" it puts us in a bad spot, causes a lot of stress and it seems no matter how hard we try to change, eventually we come back to our roles...we have dept that we are trying to get out of (interest free credit card debt and student loan, plus all the usual things...car house etc) but it seems that no matter how much money we have it is never enough...even when I feel we are living frugally it we never seem to get ahead.

We have everything we need so why am I complaining? I am just so fed up with it...finances should not be a heated discussion before 7AM, it just starts the day out wrong. DH is not a controlling money person, our money is truely our money and he is always telling me we can have anything we want, it is just all about the choices, to have one thing we must sacrafice another. I feel so greedy because I am the "spender" not extravagant things, but I swear he has no idea how much toilet paper and shampoo cost...To be fair this morning's discussion was about a splurge opportunity for our family (about 100 expense that I really want to do) he didn't say no only emphasized our lack of finances right now....I feel like a little kid demanding what I want...

I am preaching to the choir I know...I need to spend more time in this thread and take a few notes from all your books! Sacrafice now and benefit later...or is it survive later? Ahhhh! thanks for letting me rant and rave!

Well I feel the same way you do alot of times!! I have to ask my dh for things, and alot of times he won't come out and say no, but he will make me feel horrible about it, by mentioning how we really don't "need" it, and we could use the money to pay for other things. It's really hard for me sometimes not having my "own" spending money!! That's part of the reason I come to this website so much, for the great advice and encouragement to spend less!

I understand. My husband is the "spender" and I'm the "no guy" or "no gal". Even when we stay out of the stores he can still find stuff online. He truely has amazing shopping skills. We don't usually argue but I often end up feeling like the bad guy.

But I also understand that he works hard and brings home pretty good money -- he wants to spend it. Problem is we already did!

It is a never ended cycle!

Have you thought of switching it up. You handle the bills for a couple of months and he does the shopping. It has worked well for us to get us both on track. Also we read up on personal finance and goal setting together another idea. It is good to sometimes be able to talk about money without going into an arguement or talk about your spending problem areas and ways to improve them.

It is normal to fight about money and be frustrated keep that in mind too

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

Do you work too? Maybe if you don't this summer you could watch some school age kids or something and make some "fun" money and put that aside for fun purchases that way he can't say anything!

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