Dh thinking about going overseas again!

MandaRenee · **Dh thinking about going overseas again!**

GRRRR! Okay can you tell my feelings on this subject. Dh got a call last night with a job offer to go to Afghanistan to train troops and is considering taking it. I am beside myself at this point because I can't believe he's even thinking about it.

His argument is that we need the money, well yes it is very good money but I would rather have a husband. Now before any of you say that military families do it all the time, trust me I know. He's survived his own deployment over there and quite frankly I was overjoyed when he was discharged from the Army because I thought that was going to all be behind us. But here it is again...

The idea of him being gone for a year is insane to me. He keeps pointing out that he would be home for a week every 90 days but somehow he doesn't hear the gone for 90 days at a time part of that. We have a 3 month old dd! He would miss her first everything.

Okay, reading back over this I know I sound like a big baby because military families deal with this all the time. I guess I just feel blindsided because I didn't think we had to be a military family all the time. And for the record when he was deployed originally I didn't throw a fit because he was in the military and I knew that was part of our life. It wasn't supposed to be part of this life though. Sorry I just needed to vent. Thanks for "listening"

chopey · 01-24-2008, 09:03 AM

Wow, that sucks for you guys! I wouldn't want him gone either, especially since he's been discharged and doesn't HAVE to go! Yes, military families to it all the time, and for the life of me, I can't imagine how they make it work, so HOORAY for those of you who can, you are courageous and brave and loyal women!
My DH's dad is a boat captain for an oil spill recovery unit in the gulf. He's always had that type of job before, except for a few years here and there, but for the most part he's been gone more often than he's home. I didn't want the life my MIL had as his wife, so I told dh before we got married that he'd better find something to do that doesn't require that kind of stuff to be a part of our lives, because I won't live that life, with my husband gone all the time. If he were in the military, MAYBE, but just because he chooses to be gone all the time, no. And no, FIL doesn't HAVE to have that kind of job, he could have done a number of things differently, at any point in his life. I'm just not a fan of being a "single parent" even when you're married, I would hate it. So anyway, to quit rambling on, I"m sorry that he's even thinking it, I know how hard it must be for you, but I think you should really put your foot down, I know i would. Good luck!

melsb · 01-24-2008, 09:13 AM

You're not being a big baby at all! Your husband is talking of leaving, for a long time, to a dangerous area and even if the money is good it still is hard on you! So do not down play your needs just because so many other people are doing it as well. Good luck with whatever decision you two make. I wouldn't want mine to go either!

stacia · 01-24-2008, 09:14 AM

We are a former army family also. My dh gets job offers every week to go overseas, it's funny they all pay what he makes now, like we would even consider it! But I told him if they offer 300,000 or more for 6 months he can go. Since that's not gonna happen he's staying put. Really you have a new baby, I don't think any amount of money would be worth missing her first year, you know?! Most jobs over there pay around 150K, you can find that here and he won't put his life in as much danger.

MandaRenee · 01-24-2008, 09:30 AM

Thanks for the support ladies. I am really hoping he's just feeling the financial strain right now and isn't actually going to do it. *fingers crossed

Stacia-the problem is that he doesn't make as much as they are offering and in our area I'm not sure that he could. If you don't mind me asking what does your dh do?

stacia · 01-25-2008, 11:46 AM

I'll pm you.