Totally agree. I am looking for a job b/c I know in a logical sense he is right. It's just tough when I'm a teacher and our work is so seasonal. He LOVES the idea of being in my parent's house b/c he wants this debt gone. I have made far too many decisions (that he has supported) based on emotion and not on logic. We said we will make a decision in late February.

As far as what everyone else has said meal time is probably the only issue. I think having space would be ok. I will have to help a lot with my grandfather who lives there as well, but that is not a bad thing. Cleaning would be just keeping the basement tidy b/c they have a maid every 2 weeks. Maybe it will be a vacation!

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My husband and I moved in with my parents when we moved back home from out of state. DH got a job back home when I was about 7 months pregnant with our first son. I was planning on quitting anyway, but worked right up till the end since our house was still on the market. DH stayed in the apartment above my parents garage for about a month by himself (I came home on weekends). Once my son was born I moved in too and was a SAHM with him. I LOVED it at the time because we were saving a TON of money since our house took 6 months to sell (there will still new houses going up in our neighborhood). It was a detached garage so it was a 10 ft walk into the house or we could come and go as we pleased. My parents asked us to pay $50 a month for utilities (I think I paid $100 a month when I moved home after college). My parents cooked dinner in the house everyday so we'd head over and eat with them. My younger sister was still living at home at the time (she was 2 years younger than me). I was able to go hang out with my parents, husband and sister every night. We planned my sisters wedding while I was there so I helped a lot with that. My son was grandchild #6 at that point but my parents would still come take him from me every night when they got home from work! It was fun!

But, we started itching to get out when DS was about 6 months old. It was a 1 room apartment so ds could see us from his crib at night, etc. It was hard getting him to go to sleep without being held, etc, cause he'd just look at us and cry!

We did finally move out since it was just way to small for us to live there much longer. It was such a blessing to have that as an option for us.

The Above Posters have all brought up good points. If your DH is on board it may really work out for you.

Is there anything else you can do to decrease your debt? Sell a car? etc. Have you determined how much extra you have a month to put toward the debt now and how long it'll take you to pay it off? Do you know how much more a month you'll have if you sell your house? Will you be selling a lot of your possessions too or will you be getting a storage unit? Moving is a BIG deal. If it's not gonna help knock out A LOT of debt really fast, I don't think I'd do it. Do you love your current house?

I don't know - lots to think about!

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Stay at home mom to my 3 boys... ages 5, 3 & 1!

I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

We lived with my parents while our house was being built, 9 months! I'd do it all over again, that time my girls had with them can never be replaced. It got a bit tough, my mom would tell me what to do as far as the kids, or she'd take over, um, she basically does that even when we did not live together but I got to the point where I NEEDED out.

Have some ground rules, see how much room you'll have for the kids things (my daughter criend and cried fofr the toys that went into storage and we'd go rotate them out). Offer to pay SOMETHING.

Seriously think of the housing market now, and how much you can get out of debt yet save for another place. It's iffy, but if you can come out ahead, I say do it.

I would really discuss this with your DH.

You need to be 100% certain that he will not feel like his manhood/ability to provide, etc etc are being threatened.

What concerns me is that since it is your student loan debt, that maybe he will say "look, now we have to live with your parents to pay off your loans."

DH and I also have a lot of student loan debt. And we rent from my parents but do not live with them - it is an extra property of theirs. The situation has been bad for our marriage. And for the relationship btw us and my parents. They often "throw back" all they have done for us.

DH has made nasty remarks to me about cc's that were mine,etc (even though "his" debt far exceeds mine), mainly because he resents the whole situation.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have done it. I would've gone "gazelle intense" and stayed in my apartment. Of course at that time I didn't realize that. I'd never heard of gazelle intense.

Your situation sounds like a great deal. But PLEASE really discuss this with your DH and think out worst case scenarios before you jump into it. Good luck!

This would Be my only concern.

Also Will you be able to sell it fairly quick?


Also how Does DH feel about this??

I know my DH , wouldn't go for this Plan He has a Bit of an ego, and He Feels like he always needs to mend his Own Mistakes. We could be 300,000 in debt and he would never want to go to My parents.

So Make sure your DH is Ok with it and Fully ok with it.

I would do it in a Heartbeat- if it were just me I think it sounds like a great plan.

You've received some great advice here. I wouldn't be so worried about what you'd recoup in the house sale. Even if you were upside down in your mortgage you could consider a short-sale and come out ahead in the long run by cutting your losses. I think if you set some ground rules and approached this with a positive attitude, it could be a really good thing. Best of luck to you!

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I think everyone has given you good ideas about setting a time limit, paying a nominal "rent," etc. However, this is going to be for a good period of time. How will you feel when you discipline your children and then they tattle to GM & GP? Or if the kids damage some of your parents' possessions, how will your parents feel about that? How will your parents and you really feel if this situation continues more than a year? If you spend money on your family, will this cause hostility with your parents (ex. you replace the car)? Will you feel safe about the pool/hot tub with toddlers? I added this, because an Alabama radio celebrity, Rick Burgess, recently lost his 2 YO son, Bronner, in a drowning accident (the family's pool).

Sometimes, people cannot make that transition to be a single-income family in one step. Really, it may be in your's and your husband's best interest for you to work full-time next year. Sometimes increasing the income is what is needed. I wanted to be a SAHM when my twins were toddlers, and we would not have been able to financially handle it. DH & I had to pay for our past mistakes too. It wasn't until my 2 1/2 YO was one that we could do it.
Best wishes in whatever you decide to do!

Here's another idea to think about...

If you move into your parents house, would it be worth it for you to keep your house and rent it out? Especially if you won't make much off of selling it? Check the comparable rental rates in your area. If the rental rates are higher than your mortgage plus all of the insurance that you pay on your home, it might be worth it to keep your house...at least for awhile. Also don't forget to factor in any credit you get on your taxes for owning a home. You could check out a neat site called Free home real estate market value price for your house or property | HouseValues.com to see the current value of your home.

Good Luck!

Sandra

If he's supported your decisions, whether they were made based on emotion and not logic, then they are YOUR decisions that you made together. And if that's the case, then it seems he's prone to make some decisions based on emotion too, because if he was strictly basing them on logic, he would have cut you off at the pass and not supported your "emotional" decisions. I get the sense you're putting a lot of blame on yourself but you got into debt together because of the decisions you made together.

I'm not sure what your teaching degree is for, but if this applies, could you take on substitute teaching? if you are centrally located within decent distance from multiple schools, you could substitute at all of them.

If DH isn't on his last leg of schooling, could he put it on hold for a year? You could put the $ you're spending on his tuition, books, etc towards debt. Maybe that's backwards, but I'd think if you've drastically reduced your debt, you could probably pay for some of his schooling expenses with the money you've saved on paying interest on your debt!

I think you need to explore EVERY single option you have available. If you are willing to sell your house to move in with your parents, would you be willing to sell your house and move into something smaller with lower expenses? It's a buyers market right now, which means you'll probably get less than you want for your home you are selling, but it also means you could get a good deal on a smaller house with lower expenses, put a nice down payment on it and pay off some debt. Then when this expected baby is too old to share a room with a sibling, you can look into building a bedroom addition on to the house. But that would be down the road. A financial advisor on Ellen the other day said that if you came into a good sum of money (if you sold your house, for instance, and bought another smaller one), that you should put a little on your mortgage, but use the majority of it to reduce debt. She said it had to do with the rates the banks give for mortgages or something (I didnt' truly understand), but she said you're better off doing that, as having a home can be considered equity, but having debt, is just that - debt.

When DH and I got married, we lived with his parents for a few months before getting an apartment. A year later we moved back in with them when I was pregnant for about 6 months while we built our house (separate from theirs, on their piece of property). The first time, it was fine and dandy. We worked different schedules, everything was great. The second time it was harder because we had been on our own and developed our own ways and preferences for how we lived - and a lot of them were different from his parents/family. It was alright because I was still pregnant; we made his old bedroom like a mini apartment with all the amenities in it. we could disappear into our room, or we could spend time with family. we ate dinner together; i often helped cook. it was fine. Now that we have a 3 year old? It would be DRASTICALLY different. (Granted, we'd be back up in that bedroom, DS in a separate room.) My FIL spoils DS rotten and blatantly goes against rules we have set for him (like offering him a popsicle tonight before he was half done with his dinner) and it would be hard to set boundaries between Grandma & Papa's fun & freedom and our rules & regulations.

When it comes down to it, I'd ask one question: Are you making ends meet now? Are you just treading water, or are you totally (and quickly) sinking? If you're making ends meet and are paying all your bills (even if the credit card's just getting minimum pmts at the moment) on time, then I'd try to make a little here or there and put it on your credit, apply any extra paychecks (for us, we get 3 this month, and it will happen again some other time this year), tax refunds (which will be bigger once you have the baby, and if they pass this new bill for economic stimulus rebates) etc. When we paid a big chunk of our old credit card off, the company offered us a deal - pay 75% in full within x amount of time and they would forgive the rest. Can you refinance your mortgage?

Could you come out ahead (or just even?) by selling your house in a buyer's market to pay on your $80k debt, putting all Dh's income towards debt and still save enough money to buy a home in two year's time? The powers that be are saying the housing market will continue to slump - what happens if in two years you get ready to buy a home and you have to spend 2x's as much as the value of your current home to get something just as nice - with a bigger mortgage will you end up in debt because expenses will exceed income?

Over all, I have not been, nor am I currently, walking in your shoes. And I probably rambled incoherently about 75% of that stuff, so I'm not sure what it's worth coming from a 25 year old who's never dealt with any of this...

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You do have a lot to consider, but it is a great opportunity!
My husband and I lived with my parents in their upstairs furnished attic for about 10 months (19 years ago) when we were first married. I know...newlyweds and living with parents. Ick. But, we did have the whole upstairs to ourselves with a big bedroom and a living room. We shared a bath and the kitchen, but it really wasn't that bad. In the end, between our wedding gift money and saving we plunked about 30,000 down on our 4 bdrm house which we still own.

Think long and hard. It could get you out of your pickle and onto a great new start!