Here is our situation:
We have one son and baby #2 on the way. My husband works full time and goes to school full time. I left my teaching job to stay home (I also watch a few kids during the week.) DH and I have been going back and forth about me going back to work. I try to point out- HELLO- I am having a baby in August! Anyway, we also have...here I go...I've never put this in writing... about 100K in debt. That is so shocking to see it in writing. Wow. Most of it is in student loans, car and one credit card. Holy cow, now that I have put this in writing my answer is clear, but here goes anyway.

My parents have offered for us to sell our house (oh yeah and that doesn't include the house) and move into their basement for a couple years to get rid of this debt. My mom would really like to see me fulfill my dream of being with my kids when they are little so that is part of it too. I would try to work part-time at night to bring in $$ for this debt. Anyway, would you do this? Pretty drastic, but it seems like a good idea. Let me add that my parents have been very blessed financially so moving into their basement is like moving into a resort There is a pool table, big screen tv, 2 bedrooms and a pool and hottub in the backyard. Not too shabby. What do you think?

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Oops, I added wrong, it's $86,500 in debt. Whoopdedoo- it's still a ton!

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I think that a big component to my answer is how you AND your dh get along with your parents. Will you set up rules for "being in each other's space"? Mothers are mothers - will she want to know where you are going each time you leave etc etc. How would you divide up cooking etc.????

The savings is only worth it if you don't lose your relationships in the process.

Is your Mom willing to watch the kids while you go back to work teaching? Or are you looking to tutor after school? If you aren't currently doing the Forget the Joneses program on this site I would recommend doing this. I also doing research (reading and internet) about frugal ways and debt reduction can give you ideas on how to help you cut the money you spend.

What does your DH say about moving in with your parents? IMO it could be very hard on you as a family. I personally wouldn't want to move in with my family or my DH's. I love them both but merging two families together for any length of time could be very hard on all of you.

What ever you do don't beat yourself up for what you have done in the past. It is just that the past. Look forward and keep on digging your way out.

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I agree!

We had to do this for a year when ds was a baby and it worked out well for us .. but these are some of the things you should be considering.

a) Do both you and dh think it's a great idea?
b) What kind of timeline are you thinking about staying there for?
c) Housing prices are down now .. you would have to save aggressively in order to buy again once housing prices go back up?
d) Would you have your own cooking facilities or would all meals be shared?
e) Would you have guidlines for personal space?
f) Where would you store all your stuff?
g) Would you be able to sell your house at a profit right now?

It might work but it would be hard to sell now and buy later. Is there another way you can get gazelle intense? Have you cut up the credit cards, gone on a total spending freeze? Tried the food bank? Gone meat free (rice and bean, beans and rice), cancelled cable & internet (we'd miss you but you could check at the library), all magazine subscriptions, either the cell or the landline? Have you completely stopped eating out? Have you told your friends that there would be no more shopping trips, no coffees out, no more dinners out? Have you cancelled all subscriptions (netflix, gym memberships, any other optional monthly payment)? Have you considered renting out a room in your house (if you live nearby a college or university)? Have you communicated to everyone you know that you are on a gazelle intense program and that you'd be happy to take any hand-me-down baby items?

We did this and it was amazing how many people came along to help and encourage us. My parents (who also are very financially stable) wanted to pay for cable so 'they could watch it when they came over to baby-sit'. (We know they just wanted us to have it). We got invited out to people's homes a lot and friends started having coffees in each other's homes instead of at Starbucks. If you have done all of these things and you still aren't able to pay down extra and float on one income, moving in with your parents for a short time might be something to consider.

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Easier said than done, but you are right. We beat ourselves up big time b/c we made so many stupid choices. Much of the debt is from me quitting work for a year to go back to school for teaching. Uh, am I teaching right now? No! Big source of contention between DH and me, I can't really blame him. We hate that we are so frugal now and that is when we should've been.

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It could go either way. Depends on your relationship.
Don't forget that grandparents like to spoil their grandkids and if you will be living under the same roof you won't be able to get away from it.

Years ago when my first dh was 3 we moved in with mil and fil for a couple months bc things were rough. It didn't work out that well. At first it was okay, but it was their house and we didn't see eye to eye on the whole punishment thing (their lack of). But they had a small house far from a resort so maybe you will have lots of room to be able to stay away from each other.

Everyone's situation is different. What does your dh think? It would be nice to have the extra help and to be able to pay off debt.

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My gourds made the front page of the paper!!

I have been living w/ my mom for a while and it can take a toll on your relationship in both good ways and bad ways b/c you are around each other so much. My mom's spoiling DD can be an issue as is discipline like some others mentioned. If you get along I am sure then you can work it out coupled w/ the impression that you will have your own space. I would REALLY recommend coming up with a clear set of "rules" b4 you move in, whose going to do what and when, what bills you are going to pay, your time frame on being there etc, just so everyone is on the same page.
Make a plan and budget so you maximize your deb payoff! A real plan, like all written down and numbers crunched, if you don't already. It the plan is all in your head, there is no real incentive to follow it. Since you are moving, go through your things and sell some and put that $$ towads debt.
I would say go for it on moving in there AND also getting a PT job (or maybe even full time) after baby #2 is a few months old. Kick this debt's butt and don't go back there again!

You are already getting good advice here. I will just add to be especially sensitive to your husbands feelings. Men can be really fragile, but they don't want to show it. He may be at his wits end if he is mentioning your working when you are expecting. Don't jump to a decision that seems right to you unless deep in your heart you know it is good for him and he is ok with it.

Cathleen

Everyone has brought up a lot of good points. When my sister & her husband first moved back from St. Louis to Detroit, they wanted to buy a home instead of waste money renting, so they moved back in w/ me & my mom so they could save money, stick their stuff in storage, and househunt. They were with us maybe 9 months, living in the basement (nice finished basement) but they still had to come up for meals. It worked out fine, but my mom was very easy to get along with, and they had no children.

It is very doable, so long as you get along & maybe set up some ground rules. You might even want to consider paying "some" rent - even a token $100/mo so you don't feel like you are COMPLETELY indebted to them, as their utility bills will increase. But it's really family meeting time.