We don't have to choose. My husband's the breadwinner. It makes it really easy that way.

We have a joint account and it works for us. I get cash every week for groceries and my spending money. I like it this way I find if I have a check boook with me I will spend way to much money. We also pay ourselves first. We have a 401K (well he does but it is ours) and we have a savings account that we put money in each week. When it gets big enough we will make it an IRA.

I think you both need to talk about how you feel and find a balance that you both agree on. I had my own account, etc until we got married. It was a little tough at first because I was 25 and I had never asked to buy anything. Our agreement has changed over the years as needed. So what you decide today might not work in a few years. You will evolve your agreement as time passes.

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We have a joint account and always have. When we were both working we put his paycheck into our spending account and about $300 a month from mine in there - just for splurging money. The rest of mine went into savings.

Now that I stay home (and we've sence moved states, etc) we still have the joint account, but obviously his is the only money being deposited in. I take care of the bills, etc. I enjoy it and he doesn't have the time so this works for us. We don't use credit cards and RARELY use our debit cards (we usually don't even carry them). We do take out cash for some spending (unless we're on the spending freeze). If DH wants to use the debit card for any reason he generally will call just to make sure we have the funds. He knows I'm notorious for getting us down pretty low in our account with the large checks we send to the cc companies. So say he needs a hair cut ($15) he'll generally mention it the night before or will call to make sure we have enough. (I never get us below $15 in the account, but I haven't told him, because I like him checking with me first. Keeps us both on the same page! May not work for everyone, but works for us.

Oh, and our plan is ever changing. For a while we were taking out $200 a week for groceries. I'd buy the groceries every monday night after he took out the cash. When I got home we'd split the left overs and that was our spending money. Now we've switched to no spending money - we approve everything first. But DH doesn't spend much anyway (lunch OCCASSIONALLY) and I don't go anywhere so this works for us.

Good luck to you!

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Stay at home mom to my 3 boys... ages 5, 3 & 1!

I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

What great responses ! Thank you all so much
to answer one question in there I'm going back to school for medical transcription so I can work from home = so i'll be going back to work but not the same thing I was doing before.
I'm almost finished so I will be bringing in some $ there and I do p/t modeling so I'm waiting to drop 10lbs of baby weight and I'll be back into that when my schedule allows it. I'm so glad I joined this list - Very helpful thank you all again.

As someone else mentioned, there is really no right or wrong here, just how it works for you.

I am a sahm and have been since our oldest was a few months old. However, even before that we shared everything. One bank account that we both had access to and both knew what was going on with. We believe that what's his is mine and what's mine is his. The only money that I make is from babysitting my neice and nephew and the entire amount pays our house payment (plus a little) and a very small amount I make selling avon. Hubby make everything else. But it is all "ours." How we do it is when he gets paid he brings his check home. I have a list with the bills due that week, tithe, gas, and groceries. We deposit his check into the account and pay those things on the list. Anything left over (which is very little, sometimes nothing) we use as our spending money that week for extras. If he wants or needs something extra (ex: last week he needed two tools for work that were broken) he says this is what I need and this is how much it is. We added that to our list. If I need something extra (skin care stuff or whatever) I tell him what and how much and we add it to our list. Same for the kids. I will tell him this is what is needed and how much, add it to the list. This works for us, because he knows what is going on with our finances, where we are at, and I know. No secrets, no surprises. We share everything.

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Jenifer
Proud wife to one amazing man
Proud mom to four awesome kids

Fall is my favorite season!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

We also only have "ours". I make a little money here and there, but everything we both make goes into our joint checking. My husband diverts some of the money into various savings/investments, and I do most of the spending bills, groceries etc.

We both pay for everything on our separate credit cards and then pay them off each month.

We have always had a joint account. Whether I work fulltime, parttime or SAH it is our money. Just bc I don't work fulltime doesn't mean what I do for our family isn't worth $$$.
He carries a debit card and I have the checkbook and a debit card and since I pay the bills he checks with me before buying anything to make sure there is money. This has worked out great for us.

I don't understand relationships that he pays this and she pays that. To me (and this is just my opinion) but it is like there is commitment issues. But that is just me. For some people this works.

My dh's cousin has been married to a man for 21 years and "he" bought the house and do you know that she just got her name on the house after 21 years. But the house was purchased after they got married but it was only in his name bc he was making the payment. To me it's like I'm not putting your name on the house bc you may leave me some day. Your relationship may not be like this but that just isn't right in my book.

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My gourds made the front page of the paper!!

we do the same...works well for us.

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“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

I'm with the "ours" crowd. Right now all of my paychecks go into our savings account which we don't touch. His paychecks go into our checking account. We take out cash to pay for groceries, entertainment, and our allowances every other week from his paychecks. We make all financial decisions together but I handle all the bill paying. When I quit my job in a couple of months, we plan on doing things the same way since I'll find a part time job.

Hope all the posts have helped. Just be open and talk about it!