So dh knows we should be getting our tax refund tomorrow. How do I know this? Just take a look at my check register! Between gas stations, local groc. store, and dollar store he's spent $103.76. I spend about that for gas and groceries for the week. He's spent maybe $20 in gas and the rest in last minute things (drink for work, bite to eat, paper, ice cream) AARRRGGHH! I could strangle him. We start doing so well financially and not falling behind on bills and he does this. Yes, technically we can afford w/ the tax refund, but I didn't want to nickel and dime it away! I even talked w/ him about how much of our tax return we could use for fun stuff (we're buying bikes and a bike trailer for the kids) and the rest is savings, debt, vacation, parts for motorcycle). I'm so frustrated. I don't want to reprimand him like a child but sometimes he acts like it. lol Sorry I had to vent after looking at the checkbook this morning.

Your story reminds me of something that happened to my husband and me when we first started dating. I'm not implying that this will happen to you - it just reminded me of something that happened to me! He did his income taxes and called the 800 number which said that it had been mailed on such and such date and should arrive the next day. He wanted to buy a bike and since the check was going to arrive the next day, I wrote it on my account. Well, long story short, the check ended up going to his ex-girlfriend's address and guess what, she didn't forward it and I bounced like five checks. The good old days!

Ughh..... I know what you mean. My DH tends to nickle-and-dime away our money too!

Is it possible for you both to agree to a small amount of your refund for DH to piddle away? That way, he gets his satisfaction of using some of that for his impulse purchases and you will still have the majority of the refund left for the purchases/savings/debt reduction that you both had agree upon. When his small pot of $$ is gone, it's gone!!

Of course, I'd also include what he's already spent in that amount too! But, I'm kinda mean like that!!

__________________
SAHM of 4

August food budget (groceries/take-out): $500.00/$75.00
Total spent: $238.97/$14.12

July budget/spent: $500.00/$650.00

I would take his debit card away from him and give him cash if he can't control his spending! I had a friend that did that. Of course her DH wasn't happy, but he dealt with it. My DH is good about not piddling away money. He knows what would happen if he did....

my husband is forever spending money we dont have so i did end up taking his debit card he gave it up willing because he knew he was wrong

my DH hasn't had a Debit Card in about 8 yrs.

He gets a weekly amount on Wed. ( I Get it out of the bank)
and that is it. He gets 60.00 - which still seems like alot to me , but he has more than enough and at least I know to Deduct 120.00 a Pay , and not have any surprises.

There is NO way that I Could Pay the bills and not get messed up , with DH using his Card all the time.

We had many a Wicked fight about this issue.

I threatened to leave and he handed over his card.


Arghhhh, I Can still get mad over it ....

You know what might work? Talk to him about having a certain amount of cash per week as the others have said. But also talk to him about your different dreams (like the FTJ project). Then have him pick one of the big dream things he wants but knows he can't just go get. And whatever of that cash he doesn't spend, he puts into an account toward buying that thing. Like a plasma TV or something "guy fun"--something he really wants and you don't particularly, but something he is responsible enough not to get, even though he doesn't realize that those small amounts he is piddling away amount to more than that expensive thing in a heartbeat. So, say he gets the $60 Taylyn mentioned; if he spends only $20 of it, the other $40 go into an account toward his next big dream purchase.

It has to be a mid-size one, something he can reach. (A car or a house would be too big, for example.)

It might make him learn to value money again, maybe? To realize how much his little piddling purchases add up? And he would discipline himself rather than you trying to do it? And if he didn't, then at least next time he brought up whatever that next big purchase he wants is, you might not have to fight about it, because it would be on his head that he hadn't saved up the money. ??

Just an idea...