What would you do? #1 - Page 3

mamafrugal · 03-02-2008, 12:21 PM

There is absolutely NO WAY to guarantee you would be safe in the Middle East. Being an American in the Middle East is akin to being a walking target. Money is not the most important thing in the world. So....nope, I would stick with a mediocre paying job with my family near me.

mommytosa · 03-02-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomoliv's mom

nope. Money isn't everything and family comes first.

Exactly what I was going to say. DH & I just had this convesation this morning!!

susie · 03-02-2008, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by changed4life

No.
The emotional ramifications on the entire family would not be worth it to me...for either of us to take that job. Money doesn't fuel me enough to have to deal with traveling on a plane back and forth, risking the negative emotions of my spouse or especially the children. Five years is five years. So much would be lost and not enough gained (since I don't see money as an end all for happiness) for me to go for it. Same for hubby. There's no way I'd want him to go. Our lives are firmly planted with each other and our children.

My dh has literally just left to drive 300 miles to work for the next 3 days the children are already asking "when will dad be home" he works away alot just lately and he misses us as much as we miss him - i find it's hard on your own and i really appreciate what he does when he's here when he's not i really have to sharpen up my household routine

happymommmy · 03-02-2008, 02:36 PM

If it was for me... No, thank you! I could not leave my family. period.

If it was for DH... Maybe. Like you said, ... it is his dream job and a lot of money involved, although i know money isn't everything! Howevery, if the pay him so much money, it may be possible to fly your family w/ you (maybe one year after you start your work, so you can save up money) I, honestly, wouldnt like for him to go, but if it benefits the family i'll agree with his decision, what ever it maybe. We would definetly have a long conversation about it though, prior to the decision.

badbaby_87 · 03-02-2008, 02:54 PM

i could not be without my family that long. the only nights i spent away from my dh was after i'd given birth and was in the hospital. i was on hospital strength pain killers, so most of that was a blur. i just can't imagine being without my dh during the night, especially not for months at a time.

as for being away from the kids, i feel the same. i still have to check on my dd, to make sure she's safe, and just to see her. she makes me happy. even when i'm away from her just a few hours on a date with my dh, i miss her so much!

meghannsnanny · 03-02-2008, 02:56 PM

I couldn't do it and dh has brought up that before about going on a rig over there, no way! I don't like him gone that long. I don't think the money would be worth the stress it would put on your home.

christy'smom · 03-02-2008, 03:03 PM

With a 1 and 3 year old I would not - but I do know many people who took this kind of opportunity to improve their living conditions. The decision also depends on what their current living standards are.

queenboxtop · 03-02-2008, 04:45 PM

I couldn't do it. The kids are very little and it is just to long to be gone at a time from them. Eventually you would feel like a stranger in your own home (IMO). I am sure that there are family's that could but for us it just wouldn't work.

KathrynHannah · 03-02-2008, 08:27 PM

She took the job and gave these reasons why.

1) It would enable her dh to be a SAHD.
2) She would get more time with her kids (4 months holiday instead of 3 weeks).
3) They could pay off their mortgage in 3 years.
4) They could invest the rest and retire (or change jobs) in their mid 40s.
5) This was a dream job and she was excited about putting her education to use.

This was a few years ago now. They did much better than I ever would have. The 5 years have passed. She was able to completely let work go when she was home (I would have struggled with this). Her dh was really supportive and is an amazing Dad. After the first 5 years, she took on a 2nd 5 year term overseas where the whole family went. (They had a public school on site). They still live simply. Their house and cottage are paid for. The kids are doing great. They can retire anytime they want. She doesn't regret her choice.

What would I have done? I don't think I could have done it for 5 years (maybe 2 tops) but I would have encouraged dh to do it if he loved the work and it meant paying off the house early, me not having to work outside the home at all, and having the freedom to retire or change jobs early in life.

Maman1 · 03-02-2008, 08:44 PM

No. If you can get that job, you can get another job, perhaps lower paying but enough to live on and care for your family while still seeing them. What dream and what money could possibly be worth more than 40 out of 60 months of your babies' lives?

PS (Sorry, I didn't read the rest before I posted...but it's still what I think!)