I also have not had any personal experiences with deaths in my parents or in-laws. Just reading your post brought to mind that story of those wives and it just made sense to me. I also agree with Michellect that it is your friend's decision. Whatever decision she makes she will have to live with it for the rest of her life, try to let her make it on her own...

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"The best things in life are not things." ~Unknown
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I can see her point of view, and totally understand it. On the flip side, close friends of the family had the same thing happen (pretty much - they got the money from the sale of their parent's home vs a flat inheritance) and they used the money for an addition on their home. Whenever they use that space, they think of their parent..

Aside from that, I wanted to post what I saw a financial advisor say on a tv program when this same question was raised. She said that instead of paying a mass chunk on your mortgage, one should pay a decent amount on the mortgage and use the rest to pay off other debts (car, credit card, etc) and stick some in savings. Something to do with interest rates on mortgages - you'd end up losing money in the long run.

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I would kindly suggest that if her father had wanted it to go to charity he would have left it to them, but he wanted it to go towards her and her brother. I would then suggest she donate part of it, say 15% to the charity and keep the rest. But I'd only meddle if it were a close friend, otherwise I'd stay out of it b/c it's none of my business, but close friends-well we are always in each other's business! LOL

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A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.-Eleanor Roosevelt

I think that because the death is still so raw and emotions are running high, I'd suggest waiting to do anything (if asked for advice). I think a lot of people probably make hasty decisions when loved ones pass because they don't want the money there to remind them of their pain. Or, they don't want to deal with it. My advice would be to put it in a money market account for a year and THEN decide what to do.

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this is what i would suggest... and then that would be the last i comment on it in the end it is her money and only she can decide what to do with it.

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That's what happened. Well done! She did ask for advice and the person advised her to put it into a simple high interest savings account with no risk, wait 5 years until the emotions were less raw, and make a decision then. (The five years haven't passed yet so it will be interesting to see what she does once it does pass.)

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I don't understand why anyone would feel guilty about this. Most parents want to pass something along to their child(ren). I want my daughter to get whatever is mine when I'm gone. I see no reason for her to feel guilty about it at all. My parents want everything of theirs to go equally among us kids and we don't feel guilty. We love them both and enjoy this time we have while they are still here (they're 69 and 79). I will not feel guilty when I inherit, although of course I'll miss my parents.

Having said that, it's obviously her money to do whatever she pleases with. I would try to advise her not to make any such moves in the heat of the moment (fresh grief). She should give her emotions some time to settle down. I would hate for her to do something that she might wish she hadn't later on. She could always give the money to charity in a year if that's what she still feels. Suggest that she lock it into a CD for a year then decide.

Edited to add: I hadn't read the thread when I posted this. I can see that this was already suggested by Kim. I totally agree with her advice.