I guess if you and your dh agreed first it would be fine. I am a giver but my dh is not. He doesn't see sharing with people. I lived very hand to mouth before I met him but I gave alot and still made it. I always took a hundred dollars--that was alot back then--and gave it to someone I felt really needed it when I would get my tax return. I always tell dh if I won a bunch or came into money someway I would buy my Papa a new home and vehicle first off and help my sisters.
I always thought hispanics took care of thier familys and shared, most the ones I know are very generous. But like all cultures I guess it depends on the way you are raised.

If I won a great deal of money, I would give some to family for sure. But if my investiments paid off well (in your case real estate deal) it would never cross my mind to share that with family.
I mean maybe pay for a nice dinner out, but never just give them money because I made a good real estate deal.
What I would never do is give away money without discussing it with my partner. Seems awfully onsided that one person makes the decisions and a so be it if the other person doesn't like it.

Thanks, ladies--I guess I was asking the "culture thing" question to justify giving this money to our relatives. I was taught by my parents to give money and not ask for it (that would be shameful).
I talked to my husband this morning (he's in Iraq and that's why I'm doing our finances) and although he wasn't thrilled about giving this money away, he said it was okay. In fact, he was unsure about giving his own mom some money bec. we paid for her car to get fixed and he thought that was enough. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with the other.
Now I'm torn bec. I wouldn't want to give my parents anything if I can't give to his mom too.
I didn't push the subject bec. of where he is. But I still don't know what to do. Do I do what I think is right or what he wants?

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I think it's great that you're generous and instinctively give to others when you come into money.

To answer your question, I think maybe it isn't so much culture as how you were brought up. If we were to come into money, I don't know that it would be our first instinct to give to family members. We may give a bigger gift at Christmas or something like that if we came into money, but I don't think we'd feel obligated to do so.

I do live giving to charitable organizations because I like to pay it forward and give back to those less fortunate. Our families aren't really "in need" like other people are, so I'd rather give more to stuff like that than to our families.

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I am Hispanic and this is how I was raised. I would give just to give as you did, BUT everyone in my family would refuse the money except my mother b/c I would make her take it and all my brother and sisters(except one) would tell me to give it to mom. My mom usually refuses also but I bring up all the sacrifies she made and she will grudingly take it. It may have more to do with how many generations you have been in the U.S. I think as some become more assimilated some of the "old" customs become modified or are just left behind. I am technically 2nd generation BUT my mom was raised in Mexico although she was born in US, so I am more like a 1st generation. I know you understand what I mean.

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allgirls, mom to 3 girls

What I would do in your situation is go over a plan with him so you are both happy. Allot a certain amount towards all your goals and family and come up with an amount that you agree on. I don't think the answer is doing what you want or what he wants, that can just bring future resentment, I think you both need to agree.

And to answer your earlier question-no I wouldn't give out money to my family just b/c I came into alot. I would probably buy very nice bday and Christmas presents and do something special for them or buy something special but I wouldn't hand them a check and say here you go I came into some money. However, none of my family needs cash, so it's not an issue for me. If I knew someone needed it, I would have no problem giving, in fact we are already the ones that people ask for it when they are in trouble.

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Im hispanic and IMO it is a cultural thing because when we get a large sum of money we only share with parents and our children. If anyone else needs it then its fine but if they dont they wont get anything.

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I would put the money in the bank until you and your dh can agree, 100% on what to do with it.

PERFECT advice! It'll earn a bit more while ya'll figure things out,, and when you do whatever you're going to do, it'll be with the peace of mind that all is well with you and your hubby

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WHAT?????? Am I the only one who thinks that giving large sums of money to family after selling a house for a hefty profit is odd, to say the least? It would NEVER enter my mind to "pay out" my profit. Maybe I am just heartless, but unless someone is homeless or whatever, I would sticking that money away in savings. Those people can "build their wealth" on their own.

I am 3/4 irish, a tiny bit Italian and some other stuff mixed in, so I have no idea about the cultur thing.

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Illini Bob's wife....mom to 3 little chiefs