My biggest money struggle is finding balance between enjoying life and being financially responsible.

Now I know that buying things doesn't make one happy. I more mean spending money on experiences--- the theater, opera, vacations, etc

Also just having nice things, not in excess but when do you know you have enough in savings to say buy a new car? Buy nice funiture?

Sure we know we need to have at least enough money to pay for these things with cash, but I have a hard time figuring out when I can afford things.

Any advice or personal experiences with this struggle? Or am I alone in this?
--Ann

You are definitely not alone in this! And if you figure out the answer, will you PLEASE let me know too?

You are not alone in this. This is one of my biggest struggles too. But I have found a way that I have learned to manage it. It may not work for everyone but it works for us.

Every month 15% of our income goes automatically into retirement savings. (Read David Bach's 'The Automatic Millionaire' for the importance of the automatic thing.)

Every month we put $250 into a car replacement account. We have enough to buy a new car when there is enough money in that account to pay for it. (At $3000 a year it adds up pretty quickly in an ING account.)

I have all our bills and giving go out automatically right after pay day as well.

Then I pay myself something. We live simply and don't like clutter but every month I work at spending money on an 'experience' depending on how much there is (our income is variable). In February we spent the weekend in Niagara Falls (got half off because it was off season). This month we might do dinner out and a movie (rare things in this house). We try and make it memory building. In the early days I had to really push myself to spend because I was so worried about the future. But as soon as I had a fully funded emergency account, 15% going automatically into retirement every month, was funding the car replacement fund and putting some monthly into the kid's education fund, I knew the remainder was better spent building happy memories.

How do you know when you can afford things? When you have an emergency fund, your consumer debt is paid off, you're saving for the future, and you've saved up for what ever it is you want to buy.

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Yay! This gives me hope! We will be out of debt (just a car loan really) by the end of this year, and then we plan on putting a little something extra towards all of that. I'm so excited!

This is our same philosophy and I could have written these words!
I can't stress enough to every the importance of at least 3 months emergency fund and the automatic car fund at ING helps to keep me feel secure that the money will be there when a new "used" car is needed.

I have been through this too many times and its stinks when you want to buy something you really want but you can't have it right away because there's not "enough money" in checking. I truly believe that you can afford to have the "luxury items" and "nice vacations" if you save for it. Basically what I'm saying is that the "right time" would be is when you have enough cash to pay for the things you want. That way you don't get a headache paying everything back later on if you use credit cards.