A couple of the threads recently got me thinking. For example, your parents are divorced, Dad is remarried and your mother doesn’t date. She needs money. YET, she eats out everyday, buys the most expensive brands at the store and buys new clothes all the time.

Do you feel responsible for the mistakes your family makes? Do you try to bail them out?

__________________
My choices yesterday create my today. My choices today create my tomorrow.

I could be totally off here, but what youre describing sounds like depression.
she may be eating out so that she doesnt have to cook for one and eat alone in her place.
she may be buying too much because its the only thing that boosts her sense of self worth.
If it were me I would try to help one time . Let her know you can only do this once, then maybe see if you guys can get to the bottom of what reallyis going on.
I am watching my aunts/uncles as they get older, they seem to become more childish/irresponsible. These are people I admired and looked up to, and I think alot of it stems from loneliness... jmo

Taking the question at face value:

Do you feel responsible for the mistakes your family makes? Do you try to bail them out?


No. If they want to talk about something fine, and if they ask for advice or help, then I would consider it and do what I could but for the most part we have a what goes on in your 4 walls, is in your 4 walls kind of thing.

__________________
Have you been in the Spotlight yet?

Fortunately except for my husbands brother, everyone in my family has the same amount or more money than we do!! I could not forsee them asking me for anything.

HOWEVER, if they did knowing the history of their past successess, I would help.

Husbands brother -- he would be too proud to ask for anything -- if he did I am sure DH would give it to him as a gift not a loan.

__________________
Grace

Wife to Stoney

Mommy of Sarah (8.5), Hannah (7), and John(4.5)

I have a relative like this, it seems that person lives better than we do in some ways but they are always broke.
I think everyone makes their own mistakes, ive seen family's torn apart by money, so I wouldnt help anyone financially unless I was prepared to give them a gift.

No. On my side of the family, everyone handles their money ok.

On dh's side of the family, well it's a different story. No one has ever asked us for money but I do hear rumors that we are 'rich and stingy with money'. Whatever. There is a total lack of financial education for them and I don't feel it's my fault whatsoever. For example, mil is almost 80 and still sends money to her son who is 55 because 'he can't get ahead'. No, he can't handle his money well and you are enabling him.

The only people in our family who have these kinds of problems are my SIL and her husband. They are a complete train wreck. My MIL is forever giving them money to pay their bill because they are so irresponsible with their money. They have no health insurance, but when my SIL was offered a full time job with health insurance she turned it down because she doesn't want to work full time. She has made comments before about us having money and is always throwing herself a pity party. I have NEVER felt sorry for them and we would never give them money for anything. They have 3 kids and their two oldest are both high school drop outs, so that gives you an idea of how irresponsible these people are. Some people just don't get it no matter how many mistakes they make.