Real situation: (Not mine mine but not sure how to advise the person).

Your best friend (age 38 never married) did a teaching exchange for a year in Australia. There she met a man who she wanted to marry and stay and live in Australia.

You are finding things tight right now. There is no extra money and with the flights and dress and hotels it will be $5000. The only way to do it would be to go into debt. If she gave you more warning, you could have saved, but the wedding is in 6 weeks!

Would you go?

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Mom to dd (age 9) and ds (age 11)

no. My best friend did something similar. Not in Australia though!

She decided to get married without telling anyone but me. 8 hours away from were I was living.(I lived in Pheonix, AZ she got married in St. George, Utah) I drove up and went... yadda yadda yadda.

THEN-- 2 years later decides that she wants to have ANOTHER wedding.. to the same man.. but she wants to invite the whole family. We both live in South East Idaho now and the "wedding" is in St. George, Utah. Again. 7 hours away! I was her brides maid, again, and she told me I had to buy a different dress! I told her (nicely, lol) that she was insane! there was no way that was going to happen!

Wedding went on just fine without me. I got pictures and gave her, her gift when they returned. No hard feelings, just reality of life.

Some people are just crazy!

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Thats tough!
Write her a speech/toast that someone can read on your behalf at the wedding, and send them a reaally nice gift - a meal at their honeymoon hotel which you pay for over the internet perhaps?

No...if I didn't have the funds, I wouldn't go. I would simply explain to my friend the situation. A true friend would understand. JMO

No, I would not go. I would send something special, if they are a true friend, they will understand.
A good friend of mine from high school met a man when they were in Bangladesh in the Peace Corps. They got married there and sent pictures. When they came back, her family had a reception nearby and me and my other friends went. There was not the expectation that anyone (their family included) travel to Bangladesh for the wedding. Thank goodness they are realistic people!

No i would never go in debt to attend a friends wedding.

Even if it was my sister and I had to go that much in debt to attend, I wouldn't do it!

Not if I couldn't afford it. If she is a real friend she will understand.

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When I want your opinion I'll remove the duct tape.......K?

I like the idea of writing a toast to be read at the wedding, too. Since it is so far and in such a short period of time, I think she will understand.

I would never spend that kind of money to go to a friends wedding. especially when it means going into debt. We didn't keep a running total of how much are wedding was, but it was a fast wedding, planned in about a month, but it was definatly less than $5000, and we didn't go into debt for it. We also did a second ceremony, about 2 years later for religious reasons. But it was mainly just for us and we invited those who would already be in town, no second set of gifts, no reception, just a lunch at my in-laws that we paid for ourselves.

My best friends wedding is costing me a lot (not that uch thank god)

heres a rundown

My dress (matron of honor): 55
My shoes (they should of been 50 but amazingly someone had them used: 2.50
My hair: 35
My husbands tux (groomsman) he is friends with her df 129.99
my sons tux (ringbearer): 129.99
my daughters dress: (flower girl): 59.99 plus shipping

So yea thats alot to spend on her wedding me and my hubby went to the court house and got our marriage lices (26.00) and then had a jp do it at a gas station (50.00) for a total of 76.00. We had a 6 month old and didnt wanna spend money on it. Anyway she started planning 14 months before the wedding so I have been getting prepared so opefully it wont hurt so much.

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