# of young girls geting pregnant..... - Page 3

momof4girls · 07-20-2006, 01:09 PM

I'm gonna just put my thoughts on the subject in being that at 16 I got pregnant and had DD and then got pregnant at 18 and had an abortion (both by my now DH). BC was not an option allotted to me by my OB/GYN or Planned Parenthood. My parents reaction to my 1st pregnancy was like living in #### and would never wish that upon my worst enemy. Being 16 and having sole responsibility of a baby, going to school and working to pay for diapers and medical bills makes a girl grow up very quickly. I know that if I would have had the option of BC the 2nd pregnancy never would have happenned and I would have never had to experience that. Education in school was not there and education by my parents wasn't there.

Fast forward to now, I have a beautiful 15 yr old DD who I worry about having sex and we are the most open family I know about everything including sex. I have other parents calling me how to approach sex subjects with there children. I know that I have brought her up the best I know how, I know that there is education at school, I've talked to the Ob/Gyn and have it documented in her chart that it's ok if she request BC please give it to her. I'm even ok with it being dispersed at school as long as there is education involved. If she chooses not to come to me I'm disappointed in me that the lines of communication aren't open enough for her to do that. I do not want my child to experience an unplanned pregnancy or God forbid an abortion. I want her to be able to be and do what ever her heart wants or dreams.

I am not ok with medical providers required to report to anybody including myself what my daughter does sexually. I want her to have faith in the confidentiality of her medical provider that she can go there and feel secure that they will treat her, give her BC, counsel her or do what is in her best interest not mine. My DDs are my children and not my property that I can have total control over until they are 18.

Everyone has an opinion and rightfully so but we still need to remember that we dealing with lives and there are consequences to laws that are put into place. This country is backsliding on womens rights and I think mandatory reporting is one more way women are loosing there rights.

debellafunk · 07-20-2006, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (momof4girls @ July 20 2006,11:09)]I'm gonna just put my thoughts on the subject in being that at 16 I got pregnant and had DD and then got pregnant at 18 and had an abortion (both by my now DH). BC was not an option allotted to me by my OB/GYN or Planned Parenthood. My parents reaction to my 1st pregnancy was like living in #### and would never wish that upon my worst enemy. Being 16 and having sole responsibility of a baby, going to school and working to pay for diapers and medical bills makes a girl grow up very quickly. I know that if I would have had the option of BC the 2nd pregnancy never would have happenned and I would have never had to experience that. Education in school was not there and education by my parents wasn't there.

Fast forward to now, I have a beautiful 15 yr old DD who I worry about having sex and we are the most open family I know about everything including sex. I have other parents calling me how to approach sex subjects with there children. I know that I have brought her up the best I know how, I know that there is education at school, I've talked to the Ob/Gyn and have it documented in her chart that it's ok if she request BC please give it to her. I'm even ok with it being dispersed at school as long as there is education involved. If she chooses not to come to me I'm disappointed in me that the lines of communication aren't open enough for her to do that. I do not want my child to experience an unplanned pregnancy or God forbid an abortion. I want her to be able to be and do what ever her heart wants or dreams.

I am not ok with medical providers required to report to anybody including myself what my daughter does sexually. I want her to have faith in the confidentiality of her medical provider that she can go there and feel secure that they will treat her, give her BC, counsel her or do what is in her best interest not mine. My DDs are my children and not my property that I can have total control over until they are 18.

Everyone has an opinion and rightfully so but we still need to remember that we dealing with lives and there are consequences to laws that are put into place. This country is backsliding on womens rights and I think mandatory reporting is one more way women are loosing there rights.

I agree with you 100% you said everything wonderfully. My mother got preg at 17 dropped out of high school and her first job was when I was 17. She didn't keep anything that happened to her a secreat and I went to her when I was 16 to ask to go on BC I felt that I could go to her since she was so open with me. She just told us she didn't want us to have the life he had. Not that she regretted getting preg that young but she didn't want that for us.

mommamia · 07-20-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (momof4girls @ July 20 2006,14:09)]I'm gonna just put my thoughts on the subject in being that at 16 I got pregnant and had DD and then got pregnant at 18 and had an abortion (both by my now DH). BC was not an option allotted to me by my OB/GYN or Planned Parenthood. My parents reaction to my 1st pregnancy was like living in #### and would never wish that upon my worst enemy. Being 16 and having sole responsibility of a baby, going to school and working to pay for diapers and medical bills makes a girl grow up very quickly. I know that if I would have had the option of BC the 2nd pregnancy never would have happenned and I would have never had to experience that. Education in school was not there and education by my parents wasn't there.

Fast forward to now, I have a beautiful 15 yr old DD who I worry about having sex and we are the most open family I know about everything including sex. I have other parents calling me how to approach sex subjects with there children. I know that I have brought her up the best I know how, I know that there is education at school, I've talked to the Ob/Gyn and have it documented in her chart that it's ok if she request BC please give it to her. I'm even ok with it being dispersed at school as long as there is education involved. If she chooses not to come to me I'm disappointed in me that the lines of communication aren't open enough for her to do that. I do not want my child to experience an unplanned pregnancy or God forbid an abortion. I want her to be able to be and do what ever her heart wants or dreams.

I am not ok with medical providers required to report to anybody including myself what my daughter does sexually. I want her to have faith in the confidentiality of her medical provider that she can go there and feel secure that they will treat her, give her BC, counsel her or do what is in her best interest not mine. My DDs are my children and not my property that I can have total control over until they are 18.

Everyone has an opinion and rightfully so but we still need to remember that we dealing with lives and there are consequences to laws that are put into place. This country is backsliding on womens rights and I think mandatory reporting is one more way women are loosing there rights.

I really repect that you are helping others bridge the gap with their kids.

It's not that I want these girls refused assistance or not have access to condomns and other pertinent info just that medication wise there are huge risks as far as family history that need to be addressed. Teens are rarely aware of the risk factors associated with these drugs.

bennis_mama · 07-20-2006, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]No mind you, it doesn't make you any more right than anyone else, it's just an opinion too. What you seem to say is keep medical information from parents so that no social services or government agency can look at something they will probably never be interested in anyway.

I noted in my post that I respect your opinion and you as a mother. I'm simply voicing my own thoughts on the beginning article that was mentioned. The article says how lawyers are trying to allow minors sexual history to be reported to state social services and law enforcement. That is what I was refering to in my post.

I know I'm tredding dangerous waters here - When abortion is banned, as it has been until the Roe vs Wade in 1973, women go to people who play doctor, they use coat hangers, and they are uneducated about the after effects of abortion or these methods. These include Women who are raped.

I respect how you feel and because of the laws, currently, you and I both have the choice to raise our children using the methods that we see best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]These children are not capable of making these decisions on thier own.

If you can't trust them with a choice, how can you trust them with a child?

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]I am not ok with medical providers required to report to anybody including myself what my daughter does sexually. I want her to have faith in the confidentiality of her medical provider that she can go there and feel secure that they will treat her, give her BC, counsel her or do what is in her best interest not mine. My DDs are my children and not my property that I can have total control over until they are 18.

Everyone has an opinion and rightfully so but we still need to remember that we dealing with lives and there are consequences to laws that are put into place. This country is backsliding on womens rights and I think mandatory reporting is one more way women are loosing there rights.

Thank you for sharing. That was beautiful. I know being pregnant at 18 wasn't easy for me but being in high school? I have a lot of respect for what you have done and am amazed. Truely. You have summed up how I felt - I would just want a safe place for my daughter to feel that she could confide to if she couldn't come to me. I plan to have a relationship such as yours and your daughters. Reminds me of Gilmore girls.

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]I agree with you 100% you said everything wonderfully. My mother got preg at 17 dropped out of high school and her first job was when I was 17. She didn't keep anything that happened to her a secreat and I went to her when I was 16 to ask to go on BC I felt that I could go to her since she was so open with me. She just told us she didn't want us to have the life he had. Not that she regretted getting preg that young but she didn't want that for us.

This makes me really happy when parents can talk to their kids so openly. Some girls aren't mature enough at 16, 17, 19, 25, 35 to be mothers. Here, we are lucky - regardless of our age - that we have stepped up to the plate.

mommamia · 07-20-2006, 03:56 PM

Well ladies I apperciate the discussion. It's ironic that opinions can differ so but be the same as far as the initial issue. No one should be having sex with these young girls, the law in that state it is 16, from the article. I'm glad to see the efforts the police were making, I think it's fair to use the pregnancy as evidence of a crime.

southern_belle_mommie · 07-31-2006, 01:40 PM

IMO In the time and age where kids know what sex is even though people don't want it discussed with them, they should keep in mind that it's now in the books they read, the shows/movies they watch, and if they don't educate them on it someone at school will. I feel like the more parents preasure their kids into NOT having sex the more likely they are to do it... there has to be a "happy medium" where parents aren't beating it mentally into their kids heads, and where the kids can come to mom and/or da and express their feelings about the subject.