N.C. father: killed twins during hide and seek - Page 5

Amber03 · 11-05-2009, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calimari

Amber, if you read the article the guy says that he was always able to control those thoughts when they came in previously. You say you understand because you went through it, but you were able to "train" yourself not to give in. Perhaps your depression just wasn't as bad as his became?

You say "I don't understand why he thinks this is an excuse to murder his beautiful children." He doesn't. He fully admits he did it, he is as taking full responsibility & not fighting incarceration, he is not pleading not guilty by reason of insanity.

This is a horrible situation. I do not know that I could forgive, but they have apparently been together many years & have older children. Should those older children write off their dad who might have been a great dad until this illness overcame him?

We have seen mental illness in our family, and when someone you love gets hit with it (depression/ bi polar/ anorexia/ psychosis/ schizophrenia) you seek as much help as you can get for the one you love. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a very long time to find the correct combination of therapy/meds to find the solution. There is no magic formula. The person might take their own life or do other harm in the meantime. They can seem FINE one day & not the next.

I think all the folks here who just indicate that he is evil/no excuse/throw away the key has never dealt with a loved one with mental illness and what a devastating thing it can be. Is what he did right? Of course not. But he was not right in the head. He is medicated now & taking full responsibility for what he did when he was not himself. I feel sad for the family & I admire that he is doing everything he can to not make it any harder for his family.

There are some very good points, thank you for pointing it out, I may have not put enough thought into my response.
Some of the things the others have said was harsh because they have never been in that situation nor have I and I tried to take that into account. I have had a friend kill herself and I was very saddened by it and I felt for her and her family. I felt very lost and useless because I was in my own depression that I didn't not realize what pain she was in. If I could have gone back in time and tried to help her in and let her know that I cared I would have. If my dad would have killed someone even if it was a sibling I would have forgiven him in time because he is the only dad I have. I would have hate what he did but I love him. I have thought about what I wrote and perhaps I should have worded it differently. So, you are right and I agree with that and I don't think people should say that they wouldn't let their children see their dad. It isn't really their decision to make. I also think that according to what I believe forgiveness should be given no matter what. It may take time and you may not want to do it but if you don't it makes your heart bitter and it only hurts yourself. The other person will go on living but you will carry the burden with you and who wants to take that with them when they go. IMHO God can overcome any darkness and I understand that not everyone believes that and they struggle and are in mental anguish and pain and I do sympathize with that because I have felt it myself. Even though I believe I struggle myself it is just easier with a support system in place.