Columbine Warning signs

Rather disturbing story, surprised me that it's in the news again. But I suppose we need to bring it up so we can remember that we need to teach our children kindness, and involve ourselves in their lives.

The article made you somewhat pity their family, what would you do if you saw this in your kid's writing? Would you think they were dipicting a violent video game?

The story isn't complete without knowing the parents role in this.
Did the Dads tell them to suck it up with the Bullying or did they take fears serious- Obviously not, as one Dad bought Guns for his son who was tormented
If you don't spend one on one time with your kids you will never learn when they are hurting. Kids need a lot of attention when they are teens- Too many families wait until there is trouble to address behaviors and kids learn to manipulate.
You spend the first 12-13 years teaching the child right from wrong then 14-18 is letting them practice under supervision- decision making, budgeting, self care, and all the other the stuff they'll need to be adults.
I'm looking for 'warning signs' of potential troubles in their eyes, speech and physical presentation. Their writings show show much pain and anger. How early did the signs start?

It's amazing what you can learn about your child when you read their writings Both BeccaBear and Andrew write- they share projects with me and share poems and music

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It is just all so sad. What a horrible day in American History!

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I agree totally. This was a disturbing article in a lot of ways, but woefully incomplete. But then, I don't know what the author's intent was. Was it simply to give a better perspective on the two teens? Was it to make the parents look absentee?

These kids were obviously disturbed. What they were feeling goes way beyond anything at school, or at least has its roots beyond it. The school troubles didn't help.

How their parents never noticed that their sons weren't in this much torment is beyond me. Especially since one had already been in trouble, according to that article. No one is that good an actor.

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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-- H. L. Mencken

I agree completely. A couple of things struck me as odd in this article. One of the boys was obviously very angry - and his father had therapists names in a notebook. Didn't the parents send their son to a therapist? What is the use of names and numbers if they aren't used?

The second boy seemed profoundly depressed. Again, how can parents NOT notice that level of depression?

I am not trying to blame the parents - there is enough blame to go around - teachers, community, parents - but it does baffle me that not one person stood up and said "you know, I think something is simply not right here".

At least, hopefully, we can learn from this tragedy and learn to spot the signs of anger and depression in our children.

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check out my blog: http://anniebananie.wordpress.com

I just don't know how those kids stockpiled everything without the parents noticing. They were doing it in one of their garages for goodness sake. How do you not know that your kid is building pipe bombs in your own garage? Where were they?

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* Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.

~Ron Paul

"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison

I'm a fairly young mom and my teenage years are not that far behind me - I know that teens often demand a lot of privacy. With parents that trust their kids, it leaves them with a lot of time to do whatever.

The reality of the situation is, the parent's shouldn't have trusted these kids to this extent. It's rather presumptuous for me to say that none of this would have happened if the parents had been involved more but it seems like these kids were in desperate need of acceptance and love. Something was missing in their lives...

I agree that the article lacked any parental presence at all. In fact, at times it made the parents out to be victims in the situation. Sometimes disturbed minds develop from outside sources, though it seems that in this case there were plenty of warning signs.

I was sad to see this story, but I guess it keeps parents like us in remembrance of how much a child really needs to grow up to be a responsible adult.

Privacy wasn't a right for me until I provided a place of my own.

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* Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.

~Ron Paul

"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison

Exactly.

Bennis-mama, I get what you're saying, and yeah -- there are things I wanted hidden from my parents, too. That's just a part of growing up. The "you don't understand me" syndrome. But yanno -- my parents wouldn't let me. They trusted me -- that wasn't an issue -- but they realized that I wasn't mature enough to meet the world head on yet. They questioned. They talked. They rooted out what the problems were. They made both of keep that line of communication open, so that any difficulties (and there were difficulties) didn't blow up. Trust but verify, so to speak. I think that's what a responsible parent needs to do. Moreso today than twenty-two, twenty-three years ago, when it was me.

I agree with you, though, b-mom, it is presumptuous to say that the parents weren't involved. But going on this article along with other news stories from the event, it's hard not to come to this conclusion. If it does keep the rest of us on our toes, and keeps it from happening again, then fine…*publish all the articles they can and more power to 'em.

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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-- H. L. Mencken

How true.

My mother had a saying "you live under my roof, you follow my rules". Her rules included her being allowed in my room at any time, day or night for any (or no) reason.

It's not that my parents didn't trust me - they did. I gave them no reason to not trust me - but I understood that since they were the PARENTS, and therefore IN CHARGE, they could do what they wanted. It was like a benevolent dictatorship. I had no expectation or right of privacy as a teenager. And I don't expect my children will either.

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check out my blog: http://anniebananie.wordpress.com