I have seen were a mom is all friend to her child and the child basically runs the house and tells her mom what she is going to do and the mom is okay with it.

What is your take?

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Have you been spying on my neighbors...lol. I guess not, since it is her ds that runs her life. He is only 6 and I just cannot stand watching it.

The other day I took my son over to play (she had invitied us). The minute we arrive this kid starts insisting that we moms play with them. Uh, "no". I tell him that I brought my son over for the two of them to play, not the moms. She and I were sitting nearby and she was relating a story to me and looking at some of my vacation pictures. This child continues yelling (and I do mean yelling) in a screechy voice "come play with me". She kept repeating his name and saying, just play with (my son). He refused saying they were the good guys and he needed us to be the bad guys. I think not. This goes on for no kidding, at least 30 minutes. He is not playing with my son (who is playing by himself) and is just screaming for us to play. Finally, she gives in and plays with them. Later, the dad comes out and he gets sucked in too. Mind you, she has been entertaining and playing with this child all day and invited my son over so she could get a break. This happens all to often. I hate going over there. I only do so because my son wants to. Ugh.

I think you need to be a parent first and a friend second. The parenting always takes president over the friendship.

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Bingo! My SIL is really struggling with this. Your kids, over their life time, will have lots of friends but only one set of parents. Well sometimes there will be a second set of really good step-parents ... but you get my drift!

I think when your children are a little older it is possible to be their parent and their friend. My mom was a single parent and I was an only child and we did friendship type things together all the time. We would give each other makeovers, stay up late watching movies, if I saw a cute boy I could point him out and my mom would say "Yup he's a cutie!" But it never got in the way of her being my mom. There were very specific rules in our house and if I didn't follow them I had to deal with the consequences.

I can be friends with my kids when they are grown ups. You cannot be friends with your child one minute and then discipline them the next. I am a parent first and foremost and my job is to raise them to be caring, hardworking, polite adults. They have enough friends, they don't need me to be their friend. It doesn't mean we don't talk, hang out or play with each other, we do.

Hawkshoe, what you described is a friend of mine. Her child cannot entertain himself, he needs to be entertained and he's absolutely exhausting. She's my friend, but I told her that she's crazy to be his entertainment. She feels bad that he's an only child, but I think she's created a monster. He's 7 and he'd rather play with a grown up than his friends.

100%

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Booooooooooooo

I agree you need to be a parent first, and a friend second.

Some people have a hard time in the parent role because of guilt or they think discipline is a bad thing. To me discipline just means to educate and correct behavior, and so many people have a hard time with that.

It is important to be both with an emphasis on being a parent. At the same time you kid should feel they can talk to you about anything and even have fun with you if you go out.


When we have mom and daughter nights out I try to make the emphasis to be more of a friend but I will check her behavior as needed. You can be both but it is important to balance it out.

Well said.

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