Just wanted to add that the reason I had him out every 20 minutes was because he went to summer camp that week and was exhausted by the time we got home.
I allowed him to go because he wanted to go, there was a big neighborhood party there and I felt for awhile why not? Also I should have mentioned that this pool party went on to past 9:00 at night. We were the first ones to leave, and I didn't have problems with him being there, however, the stipulation was that he would come out every few minutes to rest simply because he was extremely tired. Being exhausted + being in a pool = trouble in my book. So for the parents who thought it was excessive, maybe I should have added that in my post but I didn't think I'd have to defend something like that. I didn't mean all the kids should have gotten out every 20 minutes. I just added that to the post to demonstrate that since ds was so tired, the responsible thing to do is to get him out and give him a breather once in awhile. Who would take an exhausted child to a pool? So instead of him missing out on the fun, I just took the extra precaution and gave him a breather.
Yes, ds is an only child, but don't mistake that with Me being an only child and not understanding the sibling relationship. I have a brother and in this instance, yes, he probably would be aware of me and stepped in to help if he saw I needed help. But I don't think this is automatically true in all cases. In this case, there were two pairs of siblings and believe me, they didn't even know where each other were, since not everyone was in the pool at the same time.
As far as babying him and not allowing him to grow up, I follow my child's lead. I do not push, as far as taking training wheels off, or any other 'milestones' that I feel he should be doing. When he is comfortable we do something and for extremists, no, I don't mean taking a pacifier when he's 12 years old. But I do mean growing up at his own pace. This is not to slight the person that mentioned the training wheels. We have to do what works for our kids. Pressing an issue has never been an issue in this house. Pressing an issue usually means the opposite of what I want to happen and this started when ds was 6 months old. When I just went with the flow, ds did the things that I wanted him to do in his own good time.
A few months ago, his group had an overnight camping trip. Ds was not interested in staying over night. Neither my dh or I thought any thing of it. I mean, he is 6 years old. There will be many, many other camping trips to go on in the future. Yet, the head of the trip was astounded that we didn't 'Make' ds go. I looked at him and said, "This should be a fun thing. 'Make' him? If it doesn't bother him not to go, why should it bother me?' He left just shaking his head that I didn't press the issue and demand that he just go. Did I try to encourage ds? Of course I did. He wasn't interested, he said that maybe next year he'd feel better about it. Did I have a problem with that? No.
Ds is taking swimming lessons this year also, at his request. He wasn't ready before, and did I push it? No. Is this babying him? I don't think so. He is ready now, and it's not like he's 20 and doesn't know how to swim. I've had parents say, "Oh just push him in, he'll be OK". Well, this is not the way I parent. This might work for some, but I know my own and I know it wouldn't work for mine. I follow my child's lead not - again not being extreme. Of course I encourage when needed, etc. I also have to say that I was proud of the way ds was the caution ds exercised in the pool area, not that none of the others weren't using it as well, he wasn't the only one. When we went home, I told him I was proud that he played safely there, and I don't think that it was because we were there either, since we weren't on top of the kids, we were a little distance away and they weren't even aware that we were there. When one little boy got socked in the mouth by the tennis ball, and his father basically told him to suck it up, ds went over there and put his hand on the boys shoulder and asked him if he was ok. So we must be doing something right.
I have to say that is was a very enlightening post, however!
It's good to get different viewpoints and thoughts!
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This is what I'm trying to do now and have gotten much better with it!!!
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