Been there. It's bullying, period. I emailed the teacher and asked her to keep an eye on it. She did and caught the boy in the act of being mean. It was perfect b/c no one knew that he was told on.

You might consider calling the school counselor (if you have one) and ask her for some tips you can suggest to him to help him deal with it.

What's aggravating about the whole thing is that if you (general you) don't 'tell'...the kids doing it 'win'. JMO I've struggled with this as a parent, and it's so frustrating. You honor your child's wishes, and don't talk to the teacher or other parent and struggle with trying to figure out how to deal with it on your end. What is wrong with that picture!? Ugh! Sorry...my frustration coming out. LOL

I'm trying to remember all what the counselor told me...I have encouraged my son to talk back, but I don't encourage him to say mean things, and he wouldn't want to do that anyhow.

So he says things like "So?!?" in an annoyed voice. Or "what exactly is your point?" Or he'll imitate the person in a tiny annoying voice...you know, repeating exactly what the person says. LOL How annoying is that?! When someone is repeating. LOL! But that doesn't work with comments about someone's body.

He could say something "THANK YOU! You're SO KIND!" in a sarcastic voice.

He could say "blah blah blah" and just walk away. Stick his tongue out. Cross his eyes. Say something like "can't you think of anything else to say?" etc

Do you have other kids? I brainstormed with my younger son about what annoying things he did to his older brother (and vice versa) and how he could use those "tools" to deal with obnoxious kids.

My younger son told me once about a little girl in his class that just started saying REALLY LOUD, when kids were teasing her "STOP TELLING ME I'M UGLY!". The teacher knew about it immediately, and took care of the kids doing the teasing, but the kids in a way - outed themselves...kwim? They weren't anticipating that she would do that. The other kids were making fun of her glasses, saying she was ugly.

For my son, for a long time, he never said a peep. When he finally got the courage to talk back, the first time, he was SO empowered! He came home with a big smile on his face! So for him, he felt like he was taking charge of the situation and not being a victim to it.

I'm a bit of a pain as a parent, because if I find out who is doing the teasing, I might not be able to control myself when I'm near the parent. LOL

We had one kid teasing my son, and I found out she was on our swim team. I was standing with other parents, and my son indicated to me, that's Ally, she's the one that said _________ and _______ to me. And it went on for MONTHS. So the next time I was waiting with other parents, the situation just presented itself when the Mom introduced herself to me and introduced the child to me too! LOL! I said "Oh! It's good to finally meet you! DS has been telling me how you make fun of him every day on the bus! You know, how you say _______ and ______. It's really been such a joy meeting you!" and I walked away. She hasn't made fun of DS since. Needless to say the Mom doesn't go out of her way to talk to me either. I'm okay with that! LOL! Now, that could have totally backfired on me too. I'm not usually confrontational, but sometimes, as a mother...you can't help yourself.

Teasing/bullying has been around since the beginning of time. It will never go away, despite the good intentions of parents/teachers etc It's a really unfortunate part of life. Helping your kid deal with it, is so hard. I'm sorry this is happening to you and your son.

Ds told me tonight that some of the boys in his class are calling him 'fat' and teasing him. He BEGGED me not to tell the teacher and said, "It was ok. It doesn't matter. I like who I am and that's all that matters." Yet the school has zero tolerance on bullies. Do I go against ds's wishes and tell at the risk of him never telling me anything again or do I just listen to his wishes and not tell?

I would talk to the teacher. I was overweight (chubby) in elementary school and there were so many mean boys (and girls that were my "friends") that started calling me buffalo. I mean they would say it right in front of teachers, in the hallway, in the classroom, at lunch, at recess. Nothing ever happend, no teachers asked me about it, they were never disiplined etc. I was completely depressed and even though I am in shape and am attractive now it still is carried with me. I would always say "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" but I never meant it. If anyone asked about being bullied I would shrug it off as being no big deal but it was killing me inside. Even today I don't want to talk about it because of the pain.

Your son may have great self esteem but if he is bullied and others laugh at him, his esteem will go down the gutter. Even today, complete strangers have told my mom that they think I am very attractive/beautiful, I never think "oh, they must be right, I'm very attractive" no, I still think I am the ugly, fat duckling.

I know that I would never want to tattle on the bullies because for whatever reason I would think they would find out and it would be completely embarrassing for me and they would bully me worse than they currently were.

You know your son better than anyone, but we can hide the pain very well.....