I agree, My dad has a sister that has never taken much interest in our lives and I used to be the one to still send birthday and holiday cards and never hear anything in return. My Mom also has a brother that is the same way. They never responded to anything I tried to do. Even my mom has seen it. My uncles kids were never around for the holidays and never really put forth an effort to keep in touch with us but everyone was still expected to buy their kids gifts. Well needless to say we don't do this. I decided to stop killing myself trying to be nice to everyone.

Now If I could just get dh to understand this idea and implement it in his family as well. I will still bring a gift if invited to the little kids birthday parties, but something small. Other than that I'm not going to worry about it. His grandma's 80th birthday is in March and no one is going to do anything for her. I thought about doing something but really I'm too busy and her children should be the ones to do it. I will do something for my MIL & FIL's anniversary (40th) but beyond that I'm not going to worry about it. I had a birthday party for dh last year and none of them bothered to show up even though they live less than 20 miles away.

I have done this too. My whole life changed when I had kids and they are my number one. I have a few friends who are the same way so this works well for us. I also weeded out family members. It is nice to have a friend who likes to go out and do kid movies or not hang at the bar.