Just looking for honest opinions here. I save almost all my kids' clothes to pass on to our cousins. They do take up a lot of space in storgae, plus I have to organize, pack them and ship them.

One SIL that I ship to is very grateful, always lets me know when the boxes arrive, etc.

My other SIL has not even said thank you in over a year. I never know if she gets my boxes. I've mailed things to her three times in the last year, and I know my little niece wears at least some of the clothes because family members have seen her in them.

I'm not looking for anything more than a thank you, or even an e-mail to say the boxes have arrived. My mother is appalled and thinks I should stop sending the clothes. I do like the idea of recycling and sharing with family, though. If I stop sending the clothes, who will be out the most? My little niece.

I suppose it is possible my SIL doesn't like the clothes and wishes I wouldn't send them. I do have to say it is starting to irk me that I am paying for shipping and don't even get a thank you in return.

What would you do?

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

Donate them or garage sale them. I usually only pass hand me downs to people locally.

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~Happiness is a large family~

I guess I might be the odd one out on this, but why don't you ask her if she's gotten them and if she likes the clothes? That way you could actually make a better decision...kwim?? If she says she'd rather not have them, you could sell them or donate to someone who would appreciate them....if she loves them, maybe by you asking her if she's gotten them, she'll realize she's never said thank you and feel bad. ANd if she says she's gotten them and THEN doesn't say thank you, QUIT sending them to her if she's ungrateful. Just ask.....I would.

I would donate them to Goodwill or someplace simular, probably even Freecycle them too. I just did that with a bunch of my ds's clothing, it felt good to see that they went to someone who appreciated them. I give a few items of clothing to our neighbor boy also each season, those i KNOW he wears because his useless drunk mother never buys him new clothing.

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"Go on, get outside, get the stink blown off ya!!"

I have been sending her clothes for three years, and in the past I have called to ask if she got them. Also, before I send them out I call to see what she needs (ie, if she she doesn't need shorts or if she really needs PJs).

I know that giving isn't about getting thamked in return...but it is nice not to be ignored, either. I know my niece wears at least some of the clothes. Maybe I will just scale back the amount I send and let it go at that.

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

Is it possible for you to give them to her at a family get together rather than mail them? This would save you the shipping money and maybe then she could just take what she needs and you can then give the rest to charity. I'm not sure that I would just cut her out because the items are for your niece, not her mother.

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what if you emailed or called her and said hey i have size whatever pants and long sleeve shirts are they something that niece needs? if she says no then donate them freecycle or craigslist them. if she would like them then send them. thats what i would do and if i got no response i would not send them.

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'The will of God will never take you where the
Grace of God will not protect you.'

I'd keep giving to the SIL who appreciates, and as you said, scale back on the one who's never said thank you. I mean... you're the one who had he expense of buying the clotes, and caring for them, then mailing them... she's not doing anything but getting box after box of them for free... so if she can't even afford to send an email or call for 2 minutes to hank you, doesn't seem right at all. I'm sure there aredozens of people out there that woud be more tan thankful for that sort of generosity you are showing. Find some of them for the excess! Shelters, or churches or something that help the homless or low income.

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"And the state of his bathroom -- I'm not one to gossip, but there are things crusted on his sink that have not simply developed intelligent life but have in all probability by now evolved their own political systems." Cain describes Abel in in SANDMAN #70

Honestly sounds like she is getting too comfortable with this situation, like she almost expects these donations to her periodically. I'm sure you love your niece,but it sounds like your SIL is taking full advantage of you?

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"Go on, get outside, get the stink blown off ya!!"

I would probably ask if she needs any of the items you have, and send them one more time if she responds. If you still don't get a thank you, I'd give up. I know it can feel silly to want to feel more appreciation, but it's not.

I am an appreciative recipient of nieces' out-grown clothes. My SIL's friend has actually been giving us clothes and I've never even met her... I think I will go send her a thank you note!