I can only control what I give so I've been doing alternative gifts. I make a dinner, dessert or give flowers to be planted for gifts (mother's day, birthdays).

I've planned to make photo albums for the grandparents this year. I'm not giving them pictures throughout the year. I'm saving them for the photo album.

My mom & nlaws buy things for the kids that I don't approve of but I don't have much choice but to suck it up. I've tried to give them ideas but they go on deaf ears.

We do small birthday gifts for my family members - we buy a scratch off ticket and a card for the older members of DH's family. For his younger siblings, we do small gifts too. For Christmas, my family buys everyone gifts, and my parents go all our for us kids. For his family we do an exchange. It was getting really out of hand with his family (they were all spending over $50 a person), and they quit doing gifts for everyone the year after DH and I did only handmade gifts. Evidently they thought we couldn't afford it, we can, but I would much rather give a handmade gift anyway. Now everyone wants us to get their name because they like all of the stuff we make so much!

This year, when my mom asks us for ideas for Christmas, I am going to ask her to only buy DH and I something small and then put the difference into my baby sister's college fund. She spent about $300 on each of us last year. She bought dh a wii and a bunch of other things, and I got an expensive leather jacket (that I will probably never wear I can't return it either) and a bunch of other stuff. I would rather her do that!

well i just need to get fils side of the family to stop exchanging gifts and we would then be down to buying for our own kids and mil and fil.. that would be great... i'm with you the holidays are not so fun anymore.

__________________
SILENCE IS GOLDEN BUT DUCK TAPE IS SILVER.

If it were me...I'd probably just talk to each person. Who knows, maybe they're feeling the same way!? Good luck!

I am right there with you. We have 17 nieces and nephews between our two families so we are always getting something for someone. I have pretty much gotten to the point where I give the kids $3-$5 and let them get what they want. Plus, I think my sons have enough toys so I don't really want them to get anymore!

How would the perfect verbal approach go if I were to bring this out in the open with those who I exchange with? I can just see it now...
"Can you believe them? They have enough money for a house remodel, but they can't buy my son a $20 gift???

When in reality, it's not actually affording it (although I do feel buying unnecessary things is a waste of money and better off in my account)!

I just really don't know how to approach it without looking cheap. It's much more than the money for me. It's more about the incovenience of chosing something, getting to the mall to purchase it and driving it over to the recipient! It just seems so pointless anymore with my whole outlook on life.

My FI and I do not exchange gifts. We are on serious debt-repay mode and with saving for the wedding, we choose to go without giving each other gifts. We do give to the kids for Christmas and birthdays. I buy something for my mom and my niece and nephew but that is it. We limit gift giving quite a bit.

For Easter, I asked my 15 y/o dd if she would rather have a little on Easter morning in her basket, or wait til the day after when everything goes on sale. She said to wait til the next day to get it on sale.

I feel just about like the rest of ya'll. I hate giving gifts when they are not appreciated. I feel like it's expected of me but then after I do they just don't even bother to say thank-you. I have to be creative because we are on a budget.

They on the other hand don't even give much thought because they can just hand out money. Which is good for my boys because they'd rather spend it on a video game etc. I just feel a lil bad that I can't do that because I know that the amount of money I give them would seem so small in comparison to what others have given them. Trust me. I've given gifts to my neices only to have my sis brag about how so and so got them such and such (which put my lil gift to shame).

I told people not to get us anything for Christmas but they did anyways. So after Christmas I felt compelled to get them a lil something. So with me telling them not to didn't matter and it only mad me feel worse at Christmas when they got us something and we were empty handed. I hate feeling poor all the time and before anyone says anything I know there are people worse off than us.

I've tried not exchanging gifts on DH side, but my plea has falen on deaf ears. My side, we don't exchange anymore except buy for my parents as everyone is trying to watch money. At least they see my point.

I don't know if I am tired of giving, I am just tired of giving and watching it sit on a shelf or not be used or even, dare I say - be regifted!!!

My DH likes to buy expensive stuff for our boys, but they tear it up. I tell him he might as well just tear up the dollar bills and be done with it. I get tired of seeing an expensive gift with the kids that don't even last 24 hours!