Same thing here, all my friendships are upbeat and happy ones!!!

I do have one high-maintenance friend. She's so easily offended - I always have to be careful what I say or don't say. She's married to a doctor, and claims she's not "one of THOSE doctor's wives". But, really she is a snob. I've been trying to distance myself from her because she can be exhausting. I think it's working. We've gotten to the point where we just email each other occasionally. Of course, if she ever really needs me, I'll be at her side in a flash!

All my other friends are supportive, understanding, and FUN! And I hope I am the same to them.

I have one friendship that I am putting to rest. It makes me sad because there was a time when we were so close -- college roommate. But something happened when we got married or had children. And things changed.

I had another friendship from high school and when we were in our late 20's we had a stupid fight. We didn't speak for about 4 years - though I did still talk to her mother and she evidently had my email address. I know this because she accidently sent me a virus! It was a bit of a hassel, with my computer, but that virus did get us talking again! It's going slow and we probably will never be as close as we once were but it is so good to have her back in my life!

And I have another friendship that I've had since 1st grade. We've lived apart for years now but always stayed in touch through travel, letters, phonecalls, and now email. She is a great person that I often strive to be more like. And the great thing? She thinks the same thing about me -- though I have to wonder who wants to be like me?

Locally though I have not made the friends here that I have always had. We're in my hometown and sometimes I think the people that I was friends with moved away and I'm left with others that I was never very close to begin with. And that bugs me, I've always had close friendships and I'm not sure why.

I have two friend outside of my family. One of them I have been friends with on and off since fourth grade, and we can go months without talking, but every time we get together again, it's like no time has passed. She is definitely a positive influence in my life. The other friend is also a positive, she is very giving, and much older than me, so she can be a little motherly and bossy, but she usually keeps herself in check. My sisters are a positive, my mom varies to both extremes, but I would say now that she has been a positive for a little while now. DH's mother is a negative, even though she is so kind to me and other people, she is one of those "woe is me" types and really concentrates on all of the negative things that happen and just goes on and on about them. When she gets like that I just distance myself from her, because it really brings me down. She also is one of those that takes advantage of the fact that you do favors for her. Same with DH's sister. It's really hard when you can't just cut them off - I have no problem doing that with other people that negatively affect me - but they're family.

When I need to get rid of negative, draining people, I sort of just phase them out. Gradually I do less favors, less get togethers, less phone calls, and time sort of takes care of it itself.

I read about this in an Elaine St. James book. It's such a great concept. People can really drag you down sometimes.

I only have one friend I hang out with outside of our family, other than old acquaintances or whatever. We get together once a week for a playdate and it is very low maintenance and flexible.

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I think alot of times friendshipa are made because of other people/situations.

Like when dd was in school, there was moms that I was friends with because dd and their kids knew each other, and we hung out when the kids did.

Then there are people that you meet at work and are friends with only at work. Then when you change jobs you meet new friends and move on.

Then their are freinds that you meet thru your spouse that you only tolerate because of your spouse.

And last are the true friends who will always be there for you no matter what. I have a few of these friends and I try to stay in contact with them at least once a month or so.

If nothing else, just to see how they are doing.

Remember to be strong for your kids. We don't want the to grow up thinking it is o.k. to keep the "bad" friends. Have you ever thought that maybe you "atract" bad friends? In a way a person can do that. You have to let people know how you want to be treated. With actions of corse. Joining in while they are talking bad about someone else lets them know that it is o.k. for them to talk bad about you with some other friend. Do you see what I mean? It's healthy to let the "bad" friends go and invest yourself in the good friends! You will begin to see that the "bad" friends are in your life less and less, and the good friends are in your life more and more! I hope this helps!