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Old 05-08-2008, 12:51 PM   #11
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ChickyHip
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But then I think how these same people are bringing their little ones to preschool everyday, missing out on being with them. (As I write this, my dd is laughing under the table trying to tie my sneakers together!) I like to think the kids will look back on these times and have a sense of security, knowing I was always here for them.

Yes. This is exactly how I feel!
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Old 05-08-2008, 12:59 PM   #12
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I don't feel guilty. Our life is getting simpler by the day, too. I love our life and believe it is what God intended for us. It may not be for everyone, but everyone CAN have a simpler life if THEY CHOOSE.
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Old 05-08-2008, 01:56 PM   #13
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It may not be for everyone, but everyone CAN have a simpler life if THEY CHOOSE.

I have to remind myself of this OFTEN, lol.
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Old 05-08-2008, 02:06 PM   #14
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Recently she told me that she thought I should be dressing my kids in name brand clothes so they feel confident and fit in more.
I think SHE is the one living in the name brand fast-lane world hoping to feel confident and fit in more. Sad to see her forcing that on her kids when they're seeking parental support and encouragement in the midst of peer pressure.
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Old 05-08-2008, 02:08 PM   #15
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What a great post! I deal with this myself. It has been really tough watching all of my friends from my home town (where we now live) go off and go after their dreams / careers. My college roommate is a lawyer and didn't feel "complete" until they bought an Audi. My best friend from high school owns her own business and travels the world. I forget where she is this week.

But as said before, it is all about choices. We chose to stay in my hometown. And we continue to stay here though making a living is tough. But for us it is the right thing to do and my children do well. Will that be the case as they get older ... I don't know.
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:03 PM   #16
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I think SHE is the one living in the name brand fast-lane world hoping to feel confident and fit in more. Sad to see her forcing that on her kids when they're seeking parental support and encouragement in the midst of peer pressure.
Just the other day her I said to her five year old, "Hey, I like you're new shoes." The response .. from a 5 year old, "They aren't shoes! They're Sketchers! " That made me sad.

This SIL and I have a great relationship but she disagrees with where my priorities are and I disagree where hers are so we agree to disagree. In many ways we are just doing the opposite of what our mothers did. My mother was a workaholic. Her mother was a SAHM.
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Old 05-08-2008, 04:14 PM   #17
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I guess I am somewhere in the middle of you and your SIL too. We live in a very affluent area and don't have nearly as much money or "stuff" as most of the people around us. That is mostly because I choose to be a SAHM. It is much more important to us for me to be here with them. But you would probably look at my life and say we are not living that simply. My 2 year old goes to preschool 2 mornings a week and absolutely adores it. Do I have to spend $5000 a year for him to go? No. Do I want to? Yes. It is great for him and it is great for me to have a break from my kids. I have housekeepers that come every other week and do my deep cleaning. I could do it myself, but I hate doing it and my dh knows this, so this is something we splurge on. It is good for our marriage! We choose to live intown which is ridiculously more expensive than living in the burbs, but it simplifies our lives by giving my dh a mere 3 mile commute. He comes home for lunch. He is available to go to programs at the boys' schools and he doesn't waste 2 hours driving in his car every day. He would rather spend time with us. You would probably gasp in horror if you knew what we paid for our 3 bedroom house, but we made 3 great real estate purchases before this one and that allows us to have a very affordable mortgage. My oldest plays sports and goes to camp in the summer. Again, this is important to us. There are plenty of things we don't do that everyone else around us does - I think I am the only mom in the carpool line at both schools that drives a Mazda wagon instead of a BMW or Volvo SUV - and I keep a budget religiously. It is hard to live a simple life in our city but I do my best to keep my kids grounded.
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Old 05-08-2008, 09:07 PM   #18
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And to think I am stessing over paying $95 a month for preschool two days a week.
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Old 05-08-2008, 10:44 PM   #19
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Do I feel guilty sometimes? Yes and no. I love our simple life and I am not driven to have more stuff like so many people I know well are. We live within our means and our kids are healthy and happy.

I do feel guilty that I cant afford certain things like sleep away camp for 3 of my 4 kids(my youngest is too young). Or a big vacation to Disney.

I think though when my kids look back on their childhood they will have fond memories of us going to the beach a lot in the summer and doing fireworks in the back yard after toasting smores in the firepit. They will remember our camping out in the livingroom on weekends with a movie and popcorn. We are making nice memories. It's not all about expensive lessons and trips.

BTW I don't think brand name clothes make a child confident. My oldest is extremely confident and well rounded and the most brand name clothes she ever owned was from Old Navy. What your SIL said was a bunch of bunk and don't let it get you down!
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Old 05-09-2008, 01:14 PM   #20
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I am trying to get there -- honestly when I made the decision that I was going to do what was best for my family on my terms I felt such a sense of peace about it. (Now I just made this decision a month ago so let me live on it a while and I might be able to answer this question differently.)

I am so tired of trying to keep up with everyone else. I am so tired of trying to get everything I want and forgeting to appreciate what I already have. I want to live more aware and that is in all aspects of my life. That will cause us to live more simply.
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