Okay, this may seem like a weird question, but me and my husband were thinking about it the other day. We both grew up going to church. Our families went every Sunday. Then as we got older, they stopped and we stopped and it seemed like they only went to take us. I can't remember the last time I stepped inside a church besides our wedding day. We have both become somewhat agnostic - we believe in God, but we don't necessarily see the reason to go to church every Sunday or follow the entire belief system.

With a baby on the way, we were contemplating how will she be exposed to religion. The way we live, she would not be exposed to it at all, but we also don't want to start going to church every Sunday just so she is exposed to it and kind of force a religion on her. We would like for her to have the opportunity for exposure to different religions and have the option to choose for herself what she would like to believe. I thought that we would send her to a preschool that is operated by a church for some exposure.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Does anyone have any suggestions or suggested reading?

Thanks!

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Mom to Kaylee (10/2006)
Waiting on our second bundle of joy to arrive January 2009!

I don't belong to a church, but my sons go once in a while with my mom or the neighbor boys. I don't really have a definitive answer.

Exposing them as children to religion isn't necessarily going to help them decide someday. When you expose them to just one side as children, you're already making a decision, because at such a young age they feel that whichever affiliation the church is is "right", until they're exposed to something else, and then there is still a conflict because of church being their first teachings of religion.

I think first instilling your beliefs would be awesome, and if she wants to go to church to see what it's about you can take her or let her go with someone else. Mine didn't start asking about church until they were around 4. I used to run over to the church behind our house for Sunday school when I was about 6. And it really wasn't for me. At 6 I knew that church wasn't. I tried others as I got older and found that church in general wasn't for me. But I enjoyed doing Mass with my Catholic friends, a few Sundays at the Baptist church nearby, and that was it for me.

But don't forget that what you believe is really important, whether it comes from a religious background or not. As long as you have that, and you don't close out religious experiences, you can't go wrong.

I could have written your post myself! My husband was Baptist, his father is a minister. I was raised Catholic. Scary mix! My Mom threatened not to come to our wedding if we weren't married by a priest but I don't go to church so it wasn't important to me (she came to the wedding! She's dramatic.). In the end, my FIL married us so it was a very family oriented wedding.

We have 2 kids. Believe it or not, my FIL is not pushy about religion. But my MIL is. What's ironic is that she doesn't claim to be Baptist and rarely goes to church. However, to her it's all about apprearances, which I think is completely the wrong reason to go. When each of our daughters were born, MIL pushed us to have them baptized or dedicated. We said no both times and stood firm. Both of our daughters have gone to religious preschool which exposed them to Christianity. DH and I are not believers. But we both think it's important for them to know what the majority of other people believe. When they talk about God, I don't dispute anything they say. Sometimes they pray and I think that's nice. I believe in being spiritual but I don't necessarily believe in a supreme being. On the same token, I read books to my girls about gods and goddesses, Native American folktales, etc.

So after my long rambling post, go with your heart and what you want to stand by. This is your family and no one has a right to tell you how to raise your children!

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Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. ~Oscar Wilde

I def. agree with what you both say. We can teach her what we believe and I like that. My grandfather in law is actually a minister (Baptist) too and married us. I am wondering if there will be any pushing from them to get the baby baptised, as all of their grandchildren were. But I will not let that happen to my daughter. I was never baptised and don't want to force that on my daughter before she is old enough to decide for herself. I will probably stick with the church preschool, as they will teach most of what we believe, we just don't believe in the organized part of religion or the bible. We believe their is a God and heaven, and we wouldn't have a problem with our child learning the stories of the bible. And since we don't make religion a huge part of our lives, she could feel free to accept religion (or reject) as much as she wants to.

Oh, and I also like the idea of her going to different churches with friends. I went to church with friends as I got older, but it was always Baptist, so I was never exposed to anything else.

I guess I just needed to hear that I don't have to take her to church like our parents did and let her find spirituality as it happens. Thanks for the support ladies! I'm sure I don't need to worry about this now, but me and DH were just pondering these things about how we would raise our children.

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Mom to Kaylee (10/2006)
Waiting on our second bundle of joy to arrive January 2009!

My sister did not raise her kids in any particular faith - neither are baptised which my dad still criticizes (they are grown now). The kids went to mass w/ their grandma sometimes. They occasionally went to a methodist church in their area for a few years. They were sent to a christian gradeschool. They get the concept & understand that other people do the church thing, but it is not an important thing in their lives.

My other sister went the unitarian route. They are very active in their church, but they don't have the faith structure that other churches have, and you need not even believe in God to go to unitarian church. But, they still get moral teachings & such, plus an active community.

If I had kids, I would explain how other people believe & about other faith structures, and explain why we do not adhere to them.

I think I may be different, once again. I'm beginning to think I'm the only one in the world who does not believe in leaving thier children un-baptised. I may be the only person who decides to be a Catholic when she's 25 years old just because she LIKES it! Yes, I'm a weirdo! I am not a strict parent by any standards. But I do feel like I was "shorted" because I was given no religious affiliation. I ALWAYS wanted to be Catholic and my parents told me NO. I am an adult now and they respect my decision. But I lost a lot of years of learning about God. I feel like my children should have a spiritual center in thier lives and they should have a church family to go to if necessary. I feel like you should expose your child to as much as possible and answer all religious questions the best you can. Good Luck!

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Alicia (Tree-hugger wannabe)
mom to Shawn, Jake, and Toad
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Scruggle, you're not alone. Nearly all my closest friends are Catholic, & all their kids are baptised. But not all Christian faiths baptise children, either. Some wait until they are older. I was raised Catholic, but of us 4 kids - my brother attends Lutheran church (they baptise as infants, too), my one sister goes to no church, the other is unitarian, and I'm athiest. Guess it didn't stick too well in my family! :D

Check out the post, "Would you make your kids go to church". And I would encourage you to take your kids to church. Also, baptism is an interesting issue. Being baptised doesn't guarantee you or your children anything. Baptism is a symbol of the covenant that God has made with us--that he has washed away our sins with the death and resurrection of Jesus, and that if we believe in Him, we will be saved. As an infant, it is a symbol that that promise is available. If you're baptised as an adult, it's an outward showing that you are actively claiming that promise. Anyway, there's lots of slightly varying beliefs, but baptism doesn't guarantee salvation--believing in Jesus does!

baptism doesn't guarantee salvation--believing in Jesus does! [/quote]

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Obviously, people of faiths like Islam, Judaism, Buddhists, etc. might disagree with that!
There is no guarantee - that's why it's called "faith"!

True--faith is a big part of most religions. Faith is always the hard part in my book!