Hi Guys,

Thank you all for responding! I was feeling a little overwhelmed here. I have been having problems with my son's school teacher just not getting the severity of allergies. Aside from that, my hubby and I don't always see eye to eye on how to handle things. Throw in a little PMS and the holidays and......

I am very grateful to be in touch with all of you.

I am still new at posting things, so I'm sorry that I have to address everyone together (since I still don't know how to reply to one person at a time :-}). I hope to get up to speed here sometime soon. What have been some helpful websites for allergy information and recipes?


jrose4 - I'd love to chat more. Is your 6 year old in school? I have thought about home schooling, but realized that it would not be the right choice for me and my son. I am just not patient or structured enough. How do you work with your child's school? I really like the idea of sticker or something. I have seen T-shirts for peanut allergies too. Might have to get O one.

desertmom - I have a friend who is allergic (mildly) to onions. He says that it is in everything from salad dressing to some potato chips. From your point of view, how can I bring up O's allergies without making him seem "different"? He is at an age where I am starting to embarrass him easily. I also don't want him to feel left out. Any ideas?

stinkykitty - Do you have any ideas for making it easier on O when I bring up his allergies? Again, I want it to be known that he needs special consideration, but I don't want him to feel bad about it. Thank you for your ideas.

happyme - Wow - how do you juggle multiple food allergies? You said that school is very good at handling allergies. How did you approach them? The principal at O's school is wonderful (to the point that I have a tiny crush on him - shh). His teacher, however.... Even after telling her not to give O ANY food, I picked him up from school and he had a sucker in his mouth. She then told me "I asked him and he said he could have it". Grr.

bcturner - What daily medication do you all use? How do you handle all of those allergies? Do you eat out, use prepared food, or do you always cook at home and bring food with you? What has been helpful in keeping things in perspective?

kellytime - I have a friend who has 4 children - her oldest has no allergies, her 2 boys are allergic to nuts, and her youngest is too young to have tested. Her 2 sons both outgrew certain allergies 1 outgrew shellfish and the other did outgrow milk! There is hope. Neither my hubby or I have food allergies. I am allergic to bees (that is the only allergy that runs in the family - 1 cousin and 1 nephew have it too). Plus my mother doesn't believe in food allergies since O is the only person she knows with one. Before we had him tested for all nuts, she actually feed him an almond cookie. To her the fact the he didn't have a reaction proved that he doesn't have food allergies. I am glad that we live in TN and she lives in PA.

Tiger87 - I know what you mean about family taking things the wrong way. I've had family members get so offended when I've asked to read lables on food, or have said that O can't have what they want to give him. Especially when it is a homemade treat that they made for him. O also has some environmental allergies - trees, grass, and cats mainly. I know what you mean about juggling meds. It seems like as soon as we go 1 week without sniffles, he gets so congested that he is home with an ear infection.

Everyone - Thanks again. I really hope that we can keep this support going. I really feel better knowing that there are other women out there to talk to. I hope that the holidays are wonderful for everyone! We are celebrating Christmas tomorrow with my dad and his wife since they'll be visiting my brother next week. It should be a lot of fun.

I look forward to hearing from you all!

Annie

Well all that I can say is, I gave the teacher and the nurse, a list of dd allergies even supply snack alternatives. With the kids at school who need an epi pen, they pretty much don't want any child to feel bad so the school has sent out letters about nut allergies and no peanut butter at school in certain rooms. Dd takes no meds for allergies at this time because we control it well. She is on meds for her ticks. I am always reading that it becomes second nature for what they can have, and go with it. Most foods made from scratch just is the safest way to go. I freeze a lot. We also go with wild game here so there is nothing added to the meat. this is an issue for me some meats have added sodium and I can't tolerate a lot of that. The teacher should never asked a small child what they can eat. Candy is hard to say no to. Oldest dd now will always ask for something different she is 10 though. Stand your ground you are mom your word is law. I never let other opinions bother me. Just be prepared for it wherever we go.

Thanks. O is usually really good about his allergies. He usually always askes if he can have something or will say that he has to ask me first. I had given the teacher and all of the parents with kids in his class a packet of food allergy information at the begining of the school year. I just am having a hard time getting his teacher on the same page. I have gotten over being the "nice mom" and now am standing firm on what needs to happen to keep O safe.

I hope that you had a good weekend! We had a good time with my dad and his wife tonight. I have to go play chess with O. (He is loving it!)

Annie

Schools have a legal responsibility to avoid allergy issues. It should be on his chart, but also, he does need to take responsibility himself and remind when necessary - his life depends on it. Regarding birthday parties, etc., you could write a little note (or have some cards made up) that he could hand the mommies/hosts of the party. You could also just mention it when you RSVP, asking if you need to contribute food so it wouldn't be an issue. I had one mom do that for ds' birthday party, and it seemed like a nice way, although the offer wasn't needed. It was like she acknowledged it could be an issue for me to work with the problem, and was offering to avoid inconvenience. I appreciated that, even though it wasn't an issue for this party.

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Thanks. It is in his chart that he is allergic. We had sent a safe snack list to the school - and all of the parents of kids in his class at the beginning of the school year. O was told, that as long as the food was on the list, he could have it when it was given to him at school. The problem arose when a few items on the list became unsafe. His doctor and FAAN said that I should say that the safe food list is no longer valid and that only food brought in by us is safe.

I told the teacher that from here on out, only food we brought in should be given to him. The next day is when he ate the sucker - which had been on the safe food list. I got on O about being safe and not eating any food that I brought in for him. He got upset because he forgot that we weren't using the safe food list anymore.

He has a few friends who are WONDERFUL about asking what to do for parties and such. They even go out of their way to have safe Halloween candy so he can Trick or Treat at their house. We are very blessed.

I just got very stressed out. I wanted to see how others handle food allergies. There are 2 moms here I know with sons who have the same allergies. 1 sends her kids to a magnet school, but has had problems with her school too. The other sent her son to the regular public school, but did not feel that it was safe. She now home schools.

I guess I was just feeling overwhelmed. Like there is really no real safe place. I even thought about home schooling - until I realized that I am the wrong mom for that job.

Food allergies seem like a constant juggling act. Sometimes it goes really well, sometimes you get hit on the head with all of the balls.

Thank you for your support! And listening to me vent! It feels great to know that there are people out there who understand.

Annie

It's funny what you said about your mother not believing in food allergies! My mom kept telling me "He is NOT allergic to milk! Just give him milk already, sheesh!!" But I knew better b/c he'd get hives from something he'd eaten with whey protein in it... and when I was nursing him, each time I'd eat this yummy cream-cheese-based dip, he'd vomit everything he'd nursed! I just knew he was allergic to milk... but after so long I began to question myself, so I gave him about 3 tablespoons of milk. His throat constricted and he began acting weird and I was so worried he'd have anaphylaxis (b/c of the throat reaction...) I was really mad at my mom for making me doubt my own intuition... although it did finally get me down to the allergist to have his blood test.

By the way, he just had another reaction last weekend. He ate a brownie made with milk! His eyes got all weird and sort of rolled back in his head... I didn't make the connection between the brownie until today (believe it or not!) I thought maybe he'd fallen and hit his head! He acted so weird, we thought he had a concussion! He's only 22 months, so couldn't tell us what was wrong! It was all my fault.... the brownies I usually make are milk-free. I made another brand of brownies and was so crazy-busy preparing for a party that I guess I did not read the label of this other brand!!!! OMG!!!!! My dh downplays the reactions b/c he is never around and just keeps saying, "Oh he's fine. He'll outgrow it." Well, he isn't the one with him every single day, preparing meals for him and avoiding all the 'goldfish' crackers we encounter out in the world! We encounter so many snack foods during playgroups and activities (I have 3 kids, so there are lots of dangers lurking everywhere we go...I have to always be on guard. Once he ate some cornbread made with milk, but I scraped out all the crumbs before he swallowed I think.... another time he got Cheez-its from a mom at the park... he finds food on the floor at places like Peter Piper Pizza and puts it in his mouth before I can tell what he's eaten....cookies and breads have milk so he can't have samples at stores... we can't eat at restaurants...) anyway, sorry to blabber on and on. I just get weary of it all. On the other hand, it could be so much worse and I should just be thankful he can have eggs and wheat! (((we still avoid all nuts/peanuts and will do so until he's 5+ years because of my older sons nut allergy.)))

thanks for listening and letting me vent a little.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

Annie, would it help your child if you were to make a couple of laminated cards with safe foods on it so he could tape one to his desk and put one in his backpack? Maybe one in a notebook/folder he uses. Kids forget so easily.

I know how frustrating it can get to have a "non-typical" kid in a "typical" world. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to lower the amount of processed food my household gets without spending a lot of time prepping. I have a very bad back and hips, and I cannot stand for long. We have tile floors, which is worse. I've tried all the pads out there, with little difference. Anyway, I figure he gets enough processed food in school, and, even though restaurants make more from scratch, the fat content is so high! Both kids seem to have egg and dairy sensitivities, so I'm trying to figure that out, too. The doctor also wants him to avoid wheat/gluten, too, but gosh, whole wheat is healthy! It's a tough world. I haven't yet come across a cookbook that will fit my needs, and be tasty, but I would love to find one.

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Kellytime -

I know what you mean about your dh. Mine has a very relaxed attitude towards O's allergies. He never checks to see if we have his Epi-Pen (that O wears on his belt loops) or Benadryl before we leave the house. He even asked me once if we should get one (after we've had it for 4 years!) He is always saying that O's allergies aren't that severe and we need not fret so much.

But I think you're right. It is because they don't have to feed and watch the boys all of the time. The are not the ones who have to treat the allergic reactions. I know that I spend more time looking up info and dealing with O's school, coaches, and baby-sitters that dh ever has. I understand that that is just because I'm a SAHM, and have the time to do all of this.

It is just frustrating when you feel like you don't have strong family support for this. I can't believe your mom feels the same way about food allergies as mine does! She nearly drove me crazy when we lived close to her. She'd ALWAYS sive O food I said was not safe. She would then say "Well, he is fine isn't he? If he was truly allergic, wouldn't he be having a reaction by now?" It might have begun to wear me down, except my mom is a bit odd. She soaks ALL of her food in bleach water before she cooks/eats it. Don't ask :-).

Glad to hear your vent! I have so been there. Nice to know I'm not alone!

Annie

Desertmom -

Laminating some cards for him is a great idea. I was thinking of doing that with his emergency contact information too - just in case he gets scared and can't remember our cell phone numbers, or if he can't call us.

We are trying to eat less processed foods here too. I have gotten to be a lazy cook, and my oldest son and DH are picky eaters. Every time I try to do more homemade, healthy food, the 2 picky ones look, sniff, and then ask for a bowl of cereal.

Oh well. At least my little one eats everything.

Have you tried to do most of your chopping, and food prep sitting down and then standing at the stove just to cook? How about slow cookers? That way the meal cooks mostly on its own.

I will keep an eye out for cookbooks - I love them!

Talk to you soon,

Annie

The daily meds that ds has to take are Zantac and Zyrtec. Zantac is an acid reducer and we are now able to take the generic otc tablets called Ranitidine. The dr. said that ds is sensitive to all the acid in foods and that is what causes his breakouts. The Zyrtec is actually for the allergies themselves.

We have been very lucky that none of his allergies are life threatening and he usually only gets the rash and cough. When he is on his meds we are able to be a lot more leanient on what he eats and can occasionally let him eat something with cheese, tomato or french fries. We are very fortunate, even though he has a large amount of things he is allergic to, it could be worse.

Our dr. recently told us that he is very optimistic that he will outgrow all allergies except for the nut allergies and maybe the egg and dairy. So we are hoping.

With the nuts, ds knows that if it something he is not used to eating he will ask. For eggs we use egg beaters and for the dairy we use soy products. Milk was the hardest for him since he loved it and would drink it all the time. He is just now, a year later, to accept the soy milk as a drink.