Some dissapointing news

MontseinIL · **Some dissapointing news**

Well my dd (8) is in a new school this school year and she has struggled all year. At first I thought it was because of the new school and all the stuff she DIDN'T learn last year at the other school. So she had a lot of catching up to do. In first grade she was a C student all year. Her grades never went up or down and I never really thought about it, but since I really hated the school and all the bullies and the entire faculty was a joke, We buckled up and made the financial sacrifice to send her to private school this year. Well since the beginning she has struggled and the teacher asked if I would like to have her evaluated by the school psychologist. Well they finally got her in for an eval in late March and we just got the results 2 days ago. Turns out she is performing at a preK - 1st grade level across the board. She always gets an A in spelling so they didn't test her on that. But math, reading comp. and a ton of other stuff is very below average. So their findings are that she may have ADD (which is what I thought before). They suggest several things, like taking her for an audiology eval., a language eval., an Occupational therapy eval., and an eval. by a child psychiatrist. So I was talking to the mother of the boy I take care of (who's a classmate of my dd's), she's a psychiatry resident and she told me this: either she has a learning disorder of some sort that is causing the "spacing out" behavior or she has ADD and that's causing the difficulty learning. She said if she has both seperately that would be "bad luck".

So after writing this little novel, my ?? is have any of you gone through this? I know this is not as difficult to deal with as other special needs, like autism or aspergers, but I would appreciate advice or anything from someone who's gone through all this before. I know all the ladies on here are so supportive of each other and I'm feeling like I need some support her as I'm kind of dealing with this by myself. My family doesn't really understand and although my dh asks about and supports what I do for her he really doesn't get involved.

desertmom · 05-10-2007, 06:22 PM

I am so sorry - you just don't have enough answers yet! To me, that's the worst part. There's relief that to know there is something "wrong", but it can be identified, rather than having her continue to struggle blindly. And you can start getting her into therapies and accommodations. I wouldn't rely wholely on school psychologists. Please look into going to a Developmental Pediatrician for a real, encompassing diagnosis. You don't know what services or help to get until you know what you're dealing with. Have you let her know that you know her problems are not her fault and that you are working with a doctor to get her help so she doesn't struggle so much? My son's anxiety went down quite a bit once the teacher put him alone with an aide in a separate "pod" for testing. He has the ability to ask for clarification without disturbing others during the test, so it's been very positive. It is hard to have the ONLY one in the class who gets these accommodations, but so far, he's feeling positive about it, mostly because of how the teacher has handled it.

I can't really give you any resources without knowing what you are dealing with. I would definitely get to a developmental pediatrician for a diagnosis and don't be afraid of asking the questions. Get recommendations for whether she would qualify for an IEP (sounds like she would) and what things he feels should be on it. This is the beginning of opening many doors - try to view it all as a positive. I'm actually grateful each time the school has recommended something new for my son - it's another avenue to help him.

I know your head is spinning right now. You just need more info, and soon it'll be too much info! If you have the time to read through past posts on this board, you will see many of us have struggled in the same way. We're here for you during the journey. Please keep us in mind if you need us. There's a wealth of info in the ladies here, as you've already seen.

Country~mouse · 05-10-2007, 06:23 PM

I suggest going to SchwabLearning.org - A Parent's Guide to Helping Kids With Learning Difficulties and do alot of reading. They have a great discussion board for people going thru the same problems as you.
I am having problems with my 11yr old dd,but to explain it all would take me pages of typing. I know exactly how overwhelmed you must feel and i too feel like i am going it alone because dh likes to "tune out" when it comes to problems.

aliadam · 05-10-2007, 06:23 PM

Hmmm....well I have an ADD dd and it did cause her to struggle with her WRITTEN work in school and make her disorganized, but she NEVER had trouble learning the material or being smart verbally. Actually most ADD kids are very bright. My pediatrician would not even consider a diagnosis off ADD until ALL other options had been ruled out. So my dd was tested first for learning disabilities, etc. and only then was she given a Wechsler IQ test which showed the tell-tale gap that is indicative of ADD. I would make sure to have your child adequately tested and don't just assume it's ADD. HTH

MontseinIL · 05-11-2007, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aliadam

Hmmm....well I have an ADD dd and it did cause her to struggle with her WRITTEN work in school and make her disorganized, but she NEVER had trouble learning the material or being smart verbally. Actually most ADD kids are very bright. My pediatrician would not even consider a diagnosis off ADD until ALL other options had been ruled out. So my dd was tested first for learning disabilities, etc. and only then was she given a Wechsler IQ test which showed the tell-tale gap that is indicative of ADD. I would make sure to have your child adequately tested and don't just assume it's ADD. HTH

Well I'm not assuming it's ADD and my dd is in no way "dumb". She's very independent and actually for as much as she struggles she is very self assured. She was given the Wechsler test and several others, they really took their time with her and indicated that the frustration she felt and the other signs were indicative of ADD, but that she would have to be seen by a child psychiatrist to determine that.

MontseinIL · 05-11-2007, 10:23 AM

Update: I called my dd's ped. for advice and I'm still waiting for a call back. I have an appointment tommorrow to take my dd to Score Educational Center, they have a summer program based in reading comp. and math that I think would help her at least if not get ahead maintain what she has learned thru the summer so she won't be lost at sea next year. If I get her in that and also rule out some of the other suggestions the school psychologist made and also get her tested by the public school so that she can have the benefits of dual enrollment (she would go for about 40 minutes every morning to the public school 1 block away from her private school to receive special services it starts before regular school so she would only miss the first 10 minutes or so of her school) I think she has a great chance of succeeding. It's not that she's not capable of learning, there is something that is preventing her from understanding and retaining info. She does have a great memory, but when it comes to school work she has to be pushed to remember and apply info that she's already been taught several times. It's almost like the info is stored away in some part of her brain and she can't retrieve it unless I really push her to remember.

desertmom · 05-11-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MontseinIL

It's not that she's not capable of learning, there is something that is preventing her from understanding and retaining info. She does have a great memory, but when it comes to school work she has to be pushed to remember and apply info that she's already been taught several times. It's almost like the info is stored away in some part of her brain and she can't retrieve it unless I really push her to remember.

I don't know what it's called, but I'm so glad you wrote the above - this is another symptom of my son's that I never put into words. He has a photographic memory - he knows EVERYTHING about bugs, dinosaurs, Bionicles, etc. He can learn something, but applying it practically is a challenge. This has been a challeng all his life- it will all come in, but it's like we have to keep trying different rooms in his brain before we reach the right one to click on the light and make the outside connect w/the inside. He's the same way with learning. For instance, we'll work on a math problem and I will keep trying to teach him a concept. I will then change my tactic and try to do it a different way. A light literally goes on in his eyes and he not only gets it, he expounds on it and the intelligence comes through - he blows me away, as he then adds new ideas. His teacher has experienced this, too. For my son, it's all part of the Aspergers...I never thought about it, but it's probably one reason Aspergers is on the Autism spectrum, because it's so different than autism in so many ways. Hmm.

sj1968 · 05-11-2007, 01:26 PM

My son is dual-enrolled--he does Occupational therapy at public school after his private school (two times per week). I am responsible for transporting him, etc. but since the school district is paying for it I'm willing to do that.

Also, my son goes to a summer program called "Extended Year Program" that is for Asperger's children. It is SOOOOOO good for him--really keeps him going and keeps everything that he learned during the year current, etc. I feel like it keeps him from "falling behind" in things like handwriting (which is what he goes to OT for).

So definitely consider the summer program--the kids at Extended Year just love it. Most of them can't wait for it to begin again.

MontseinIL · 05-12-2007, 10:25 AM

Thank you for the suggestion for the Extended year program, but I don't know if they have that here in Chicago, and I don't think my daughter has Asperger's so she wouldn't qualify for anything like that either. But what I am doing is taking her to Score which is one of those tutoring centers and they work with all kinds of kids (from learning disorder to gifted). I have an appt. to go next Saturday to get all the info.

I also scheduled all the evals. that had been suggested by the Child Psychologist at the School. I talked to her ped too and he wants to see her and get the ball rolling on everything.