Sons struggles w/LD's & ADD & depression

alizabeth · **Sons struggles w/LD's & ADD & depression**

Just reading these posts makes me realize I am not alone. I sometimes think as a parent of a children with LD that I am struggling and fighting all by myself. To start off, I am Alizabeth and my oldest son has ADD, Dyslexia, Communicative LD, Expressive LD, Language LD, mild depression etc..(very low self esteem)....He is in 6th grade now and functions in the writing department around a late 2nd grade to early 3rd grade. He is in a different school, which has its pros and cons. They push him harder and expect more,(his old school didn't know how to help him and just let him slide) he has more friends, but at the same time. A child who can't read, comprehend and express his thoughts, emotions, etc can't do the same work. The teachers all say that eventually he will get it and *snap* everything will click. After dealing with this for so long, that is such a line. He has a disability, you can't see it, but it is there just the same. No pill or magic amount of time will make it disappear.
Contributing to the difficulty is that at his old school he was passed along, and got used to doing mediocor work at best. Now, his new school expects more, which I agree with. You should never put limitations on what you think your child cna do, always push for the best. But some of the things they expect are too much. He loves projects, using his hands, he is so good at that. But the writing of the paper, getting his thought organized, and physically writing are so very difficult. They had a research paper and project due. He got and A on project a B-/C on presentation, and failed his report, so his final grade was an F. Where is the encouragement to try next time. He was so dissappointed when he handed me the paper to sign with his grade. You have a child with such LD and strengths in different areas and rather than use them to the students ability, he was failed because it wasnt correct their way.

I find that so frustrating!!

I have become such an advocate for him and now my other two children who have disabilities. DD,9, dyslexia & ADD and DS 5 3/4 ADHD, and there is a difference between ADD & ADHD and ADD in girls.

Yet it is hard to fight all of the time. Sometimes you just wish "they"(doctors, insurance companies, teachers, schools, IEP personnal etc) would just make things easy, just for a bit. But as mouthy as I have become, which is a big step for me, I don't like to make waves or scenes, but I am getting really good at it!!

Thanks for letting me vent, I'll be sure to check back into this site frequently, love knowing there are more people who are going through the same things, have already gone through this. Or just have a different way to look at things and new avenues to try to get help.

thank you

alizabeth

Country~mouse · 05-10-2007, 09:19 PM

*** He has a disability, you can't see it, but it is there just the same. No pill or magic amount of time will make it disappear.
Contributing to the difficulty is that at his old school he was passed along, and got used to doing mediocor work at best. ****

I totally understand what your going thru, i could have written those same lines myself about my 11yr old DD. She's been passed along from grade to grade since 2nd grade all the while the teachers have known she's struggling and now it has finally caught up with her and she's failing 5th grade.

desertmom · 05-11-2007, 03:23 AM

You DO have your hands full. The resource teacher should be your child's advocate. Do you have a relationship with her? She can stipulate what accommodations are needed. Plus, she is the one that can follow him from class to class from year to year. If you haven't had any real meetings w/her, ask for one. She can be key. Also, there are independent educational advocates out there - I know of one based in San Diego. Ask around and check to web to find one in your area. Try to talk to other moms/parents of special needs children to see what they have done, especially if you can find someone in another district. Hearing what others have done can really help. If your district doesn't offer something, ask for it. For example, I often feel that my child is the first and only one in his school w/Aspergers, although I am told differently. Yet, there are NO classes or tools to help him socially, as they didn't see this as important educationally. I've stressed how being stunted socially makes a huge impact in his learning. The resource teacher has taken it upon herself to write social stories for him. The school is now looking into social classes. The teacher has worked hard this year on the social side for him. Nothing has been perfect, of course, but at least they are trying. I do ask for what isn't there. I ask for pipe dreams sometimes, but things have happened because of it. It is exhausting, and you need help, if you can get it. Teach your children to advocate for themselves- to be verbal when something isn't working. Teach them how to put what they are feeling in the classroom into constructive words. Tell DH where you need his help - not just support. He needs to help w/the research, understanding and suggesting. So often it's left to us moms, but men can give us a different angle.