Being a mom I'm debating this question lately. DS has torticollis since birth ever since he we have been seeing a physcial theraphy. I know that he has some a problem because one side of his head was flat and he would only sleep or turn to one side. We also have been told that some kids with this kind of problem they will affect their development and ended up having to have a surgery. We got scared so we did everything that our PT was telling us to do. From then on every thing we did was not "good enough" or "try harder" its nothing but criticize. I was so frustrated I didn't even want PT coming to the house anymore but DH insisted that I should because its for the best. But see to me I feel like its my fault because I'm the mom and I stay home and everything I do its not good enough. Of course I want DS to get better fortunately as the months passed by his torticollis never affected his development. He's walking fine, picking up stuff etc.. He's not leaning to one side anymore. He's neck and head are fine. Now he's 15months and we are still seeing PT and its still not good enough. He's missing some few degrees turn to the left and this and that blah blah blah...to me DS is normal. He's head is round now..he can say 3 or 4 words. He's normal to my eye. I guess to the PT he is not. In my heart I know that DS is normal. I know he is. I've been doing everything I can to help him that's why I wonder whether I trully believe what PT is saying these days about DS. I also wonder when doctors tell parents that their kids is this and that well maybe they are going to certain phase right now and they will outgrow it. I don't know. Some kids probably do but sometimes they misdiagnose a problem too. Its just so frustrating for parents especially for SAHM because we are the one whose always with our kids and we should do the "right thing" and help our kids out. I don't take bad feedback too well.I don't like being criticize. If we are doing everything we can and its not enough don't you feel like you fail your child? That's how I feel right now.. I feel like I'm not a good mom because my DS still has a problem. Sometimes I just want to cry because I don't know what to do anymore or what to believe.

What's worse PT would show up with a big huge smile on her face like I'm-so-happy-to-see-you-but-I-have-more-bad-news. She even brought a speech therapist sometimes to evaluate him. DS is fine with his speech. There was another PT came with her too (two of them) but said the same thing..he's not turning to the left farther enough, he's not leaning to that side more, blah,blah,blah,blah... MORE PROBLEMS and more HEADACHES. Sometiems I call DH from work to see if he can come home to deal with the PT because I just want to crawl in bed and cry. What am I doing wrong? yes I get feedback everytime. But the Pt has this way that she won't say it like its bad but you know that's what she's trying to say. She would make her comments like in a joking matter or she would laugh and she would say something off the wall I guess hoping that I wouldn't catch it. To me that's an insult.

I am a nurse for special needs and medically fragile children, I often work with PT in the school and at home wherever the child may be when he is getting his services. I have never met your childs PT but I know the half dozen I have met over the years do not intend to make you feel like you are doing it wrong or not good enough... all they want is give your child the best chance to overcome or work through his/her issues. Many times I have seen a family decide the child has had enough PT and cancel services, the routine falls by the way side and the child regresses. I have also seen the effects of a parent deciding certain things like DAFO's (the hard plastic foot braces) were unnecessary... that child now has footdrop and is unable to stand flat footed because he hyperextends his feet so much. All the PT's I work with are swamped with a caseload they can barely manage, they do not extend the need to see a child unless they truely believe it's necessary. It sounds like you are having a personality clash with your son's PT, have you tried getting her replaced? Most places have more than one therapist, they can shuffle cases around to accomodate a family request.

I know it is so hard to have these people come into your home week after week pointing out all the stuff thats wrong with him and what you can do differently and better. We all want our child to be perfect and without any special needs, my heart goes out to all families with children who have special needs. Hang in there, he may outgrow the need for the services soon, it sounds like he is doing really well. In the meantime focus on making sure he gets the best chance he can get to overcome his torticollis.

I agree that you should see about getting a different pt. I worked for the pt department in a nursing home for several years, and there is no one I trusted more than them. Half the time they could pick out a problem better than the dr!!! I agree that you should definitely keep with it unitl they do not reccommend it any more. Extra therapy never hurt anyone, while too little definitely hurt people!! I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but keep an open mind and an open dialogue with your therapist. Your son will thank you later in life!

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I guess sometimes you are just too overwhelm and get mad and angry for no reason at all because you are tired and frustrated. YOu want everything to be over. I really try my hardest to help DS so far I guess he is doing good. He's not behind as far development (language, motor etc..) which is I'm happy about. But for a parent to get criticize its the hardest part to take because you thought you've done the best you could but to some people its just not enough. Then I get tired of hearing it over and over again. Its like what am I going to do? what else I can do? Its already tearing me apart because I rather have his pain sometimes when I stretch him (he cries really loud) I know its not easy on him but its more painful for me. I know there are lots of parents out there that would rather have their children's pain than have them going through it. I feel the same way. That's why I'm just angry at the world sometimes for no reason

I believe if the PT and doctor say he needs more therapy then he probably does. I guess I'm not sure why you think his slowness to progress is your problem. I would just try to not take it so personally and keep working with the PT. I'm sure she only has your child's best interests at heart.

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I know you guys are just doing your job but it is hard especially when you can't do anything about it. I'm not angry at my PT anymore I was just letting my anger out I'm just tired.

I agree - if you don't believe in your PT, try another one. You need to have faith in them.

And I know this is hard, but sometimes, no matter what you do, it really is never enough - but enough for what? To meet the therapeutic goals? Are you doing what they prescribe when they aren't there? Or never enough to meet the goal of normalcy? If normalcy is your goal, it may not be a realistic one. So many of us, even here, have struggled with that. No matter how much I do for my son, work with him, advocate at school, no matter how much money I shell out for doctors and therapies, it may not be enough - he may not be "normal". BUT, my job as a parent and as someone who loves my child, is to make him be the best he can possibly be. It may not be "normal" in society's sense, but it is my child. It is a struggle. And you are so wrapped up in your child, that your child may indeed seem "normal", whatever normal is. But understand that against other children, he may not be (we use the word "typical" more than "normal" - It does make a difference.), and the therapists have the advantage of that objectivity.

Continue doing what is best for your child - it sounds like you have come so far already. It may be something that is just going to be part of your everyday life. If you had a child born with asthma or diabetes, you wouldn't hesitate to do what the Dr. suggests, and do it multiple times a day. Many Special Needs need the same help.

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Why would his doctor even be freaking out about this. It is not a major disorder or disability. No big deal and should not effect other parts of development. I think it is time for a new PT and Doctor. Also I read that some forms just don't go away even with PT.
Time for a new doctor and see one that focuses an neuro muscular issues for the neck.

I am working on getting a new doctor for my daughter...he freaks out that she is naturally thin...and eats a healthy diet. She is advanced in everthing else but he fixates on her weight...35 pounds at 5...tall, skinny and strong. I guess just because so many other kids are over weight he freaks out about thin ones.

Jen

From my understanding from the Physical Therapist and the doctor some kids get better but the torticollis comes back and become a much bigger problem then they requires surgery to fix it. That's what they are trying to prevent DS from having is a big surgery. I really don't want him to go through it. That's why I'm doing the best I can but it seems that its just not enough. DS is not behind as far as his development goes but he is using his left hand more than his right...its affecting a little bit but if I don't pay attention to it now it will get worse which I think its starting to since DS is getting stubborn to stretch.


YOu know don't that weight thing stress you out. I have two neighbors both of them have the same age kids (4) well the other child is 53lbs and you see her belly is bulging out. Then the other child is 43 lbs. But see the doctor never said anything to the thinner one but he gave a warning to the other child. Basically want I'm saying is that every child is different. Next time tell your doctor that she's always active. I hate doctors that just criticize (I'm sure they mean it in a good way to help you out) but like I said every child has different bone structures some are just chubby (genetics) maybe or some just thinner.