Day Care Child who I think has issues

momof2boys · **Day Care Child who I think has issues**

Yesterday the 4 yr old I care for pooped in the back yard then attempted to lie to me about it and blame my son. I have only 4 days of full time care left with him. Every time I think no one could possibly do something this child goes and does it.

His parents are in denial of his issues some examples are NO eye contact, absolutely can not hold a conversation. NO impulse control the list goes on.

I don't think they will be informing the full time preschool of any of his issues (as I said the mom thinks he will outgrow the impulse thing)

I will have him once or twice a week for the rest of the summer (minus vacation) what can I do to help prepare him for going to Pre-school. I am at such a loss....I am afraid having no impulse control may get him kicked out. (Okay I wont lie my biggest fear is them asking me to take him back if this happens) Does this happen????

desertmom · 06-12-2007, 05:33 PM

I hate to say this, but I'm not sure there's much you can do without their help. They need to take him for testing. Only from there can they see what the issues are. You don't even know what you're working with! You can lay down the rules and give the consequences, but if he has total disregard, or actual Oppositional Defiance Disorder, you don't know. These parents with their heads in the sand are doing their child such a disservice out of nothing but pride and their fear of having their child labeled. I was speaking w/ a great mom the other day who went through the same thing. Her son is now in 5th grade. We agreed - we'd rather have our child labeled "Special Need" than annoying, a brat and stupid, or just a "behavior problem".

Roll playing is probably the best you can do now - that and a lot of patience. Letting him know the rules and having real consequences, but not expecting from him what he can't do.

They may not tell the preschool about his actions, but believe me, they will find out soon enough. The problem is that they may not know how to deal with it either and damage can happen, or he will simply get kicked out. They need to look into placement testing through the school district, plus talk to the doctor.

momof2boys · 06-12-2007, 06:17 PM

I know this, I needed to vent. Today I would not let him out w/o me or the older girl I had today (9) shadowing him. Any way she yelled out to me that he had the sandbox bucket and was attempting to pee in it.

potty time seems to be his new obsession. A couple of months ago it was garbage and recycling I mean if we were walking he picked up everthing and anything icluding a couple of cigarette butts. I hate to say I give up on him, no let me rephrase that I give up on his parents seeing the light but I am. Dh says I have to stop getting so worked up over it that he is moving on. Its sad I have been caring for him since he was 6wks old he is now 4 and in the last few months his actions are getting worse instead of better

Happymom · 06-12-2007, 06:26 PM

I hope that when these issues come up in preschool (and they will) that the parents will see that it is not just you who has concerns and agree to have him assessed!!!

cj's mom · 06-12-2007, 08:14 PM

I have to agree with your dh, you can do nothing to help if the parents do not want to see it. So stop stressing yourself out over it.

If he gets kicked out of preschool you have to be ready to tell them no, you are not willing to take him back full time - especially under those circumstances.

You need to be strong, I know it is hard on you but you can not make these parents change if they do not want to.