Do think about how your child will fare as an adult? Do you plan for it?

littlelizard · 04:43 PM

We've spent so much $ just on the here-and-now that we haven't saved up for DS. We wonder a lot about how he will be as an adult, as far as independence goes. I figure he can live with me as long as he wants or needs to. But I am wondering what kind of jobs he will do, will he get married? He loves girls already which I have to calm him down about....Anyone else think of this? As he gets older I wonder more.....

periwinkle · 02-12-2008, 05:16 PM

I sometimes wonder, but I have faith that the way we raise him, and us giving him all the support and acceptance we can, I think he will have the confidence to follow any dream he has, and hopefully succed, and if he doesnt, I have no problem with him living with us when he needs to. I like the idea of extended family living, and as me and dh's finances improve, we hope to buy a house that will have an apartment/guest house included so ds can live with us as long as he wants, and if he marrys they all can live with us but still have their independance.

I think its a little easier for me to think this way since hes only mild on the spectrum, and there are many healthy functioning spectrum people in the world who are huge sucesses. If he had other more serious problems or illnesses, I probably would be worried, and would have to start settting up investment plans and a living will, looking into care facilitys etc.

littlelizard · 02-12-2008, 09:18 PM

Yeah, I have done none of that will stuff, which I should, except I trust nobody with my kids. Also as he is getting bigger (and I am getting older

) I worry about him getting as independent as possible because physically it is getting difficult to help him with some things. I still do a lot physically for him that I wouldn't do for a typical child , although I do see him trying more each day, so that is another issue that I worry for in the future.

KathrynHannah · 02-12-2008, 09:24 PM

I try not to worry but somedays it gets the best of me. My ds had dyspraxia (co-ordination disorder). Socially he is fine but he'll probably be wearing velcro shoes to high school and won't end up doing anything with his hands or that involves co-ordination. It makes me wonder what he will end up doing and how he'll get through high school when his printing is still just 'chicken scratches' (He's 9).

periwinkle · 02-13-2008, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathrynHannah

I try not to worry but somedays it gets the best of me. My ds had dyspraxia (co-ordination disorder). Socially he is fine but he'll probably be wearing velcro shoes to high school and won't end up doing anything with his hands or that involves co-ordination. It makes me wonder what he will end up doing and how he'll get through high school when his printing is still just 'chicken scratches' (He's 9).

thankfully for him, the world is going extremely digital, and typing is always readable :D

TommysMommy · 02-13-2008, 06:40 PM

Nope. We don't plan for anything. First of all, Tommy is on SSI, so our income is limited. There isn't any savings. Secondly, there are just too many variables in his health to plan our lives past tomorrow. I'll be happy to Live For Today forever if I can!

hawkshoe · 02-14-2008, 10:28 AM

I really don't think he will have any problem there. My dh worries about it some, but honestly, I think he will be just fine.

momof4girls · 02-14-2008, 10:04 PM

My oldest DD turns 18 in October and that thought scares me to death. I've already talked to a lawyer about guardianship for her. Unfortunately last week we placed her in a residential treatment faclity and she will be there for 9-12 months. My DD has a mood disorder, ODD, depression, SPD, ADHD, & attachment issues. We decided that we were unable to keep her safe and a bed finally opened up at the facility. We have heard wonderful things about this facility and it comes highly recommended by all the medical professionals and the school system. Plus we have 3 other children to worry about and care for. My oldest DD is a wonderful actress although I would never want that life for her but she is also quite gifted when it comes to story telling (gets her into alot of trouble). If she could channel that imagination into writing I think she would be quite successful. The best i can hope for is a caring and supportive support system for her.

desertmom · 02-16-2008, 08:18 PM

I think with maturity, learning and good parenting, my son could do very well for himself. He loves to create things, and as long as he doesn't obsess on the negative, and finds the right career path, I think he'll be fine. I hope he finds the right person to help share his life.