Our oldest dd is autistic. She has more medical needs than her brothers and sisters, which of course, costs use more. I expect that and don't have a problem with it. I'm thankful God provides for all her needs. But I wonder if other families with special needs children are also spending more in other budget categories that aren't really tied directly to medical/educational needs.

Our daughter is a huge fan of Winnie the Pooh. Every allowance day she gets to spend her money on Pooh coloring books and books. Plus she has to have a box of candy, 24 crayons, and sometimes streamers to decorate her room. This is usually more than her actual allowance amount, but dh and I just buy it anyway. I've stopped budgeting an actual amount for her allowance because she always has to have these particular things every two weeks on allowance day. Mentally she is about 3 years old and really has very little concept of money and finances. She will understand if I tell her something is too expensive when we're shopping, but by golly, we'd better come home with at least a coloring book, crayons, a regular book, and candy. Or else.

Then there's other things like shampoo. We buy more shampoo than any other family I know. She can take a bath by herself now (she's 13), but she always uses way too much shampoo. I've tried to hide the other bottles and ration shampoo, but she finds them and uses them up. Or she starts her bath, discovers she doesn't have "enough" shampoo, and goes looking for more in the nude. With the mind of a three year old, this doesn't seem immodest to her.

We also spend a lot more on pencils, pens, and computer paper. She chews on pens and pencils, using up at least one of each every weekday. This is also something I just have come to the conclusion that we will just have to budget for and pay.

What I'm wondering is, do other families have things like shampoo, pencils, etc that they spend more on than other families? (None of these expenses are outrageous, like they are getting us into debt or anything, just higher than average, even for a large family) I've run in to other people with typically developing children who seem to think that if we were just more disciplined with her, she'd stop using so much shampoo, chewing up pencils, etc. There are other things that she does that cost us more, but I forget right now, and frankly, I don't care. But sometimes I wonder if I'm just a lazy mom and I should try harder to cut down on how much of these things she uses up? Dh is of the opinion that our dd is just different,these things are part of her personality, and we just need to think of them as a recurring expense, like utilities. She is who she is and we love her. Even if she does use up the shampoo all the time!

What do you do at your house about things like this, if this is an issue for your child?

Here's my lowly opinion having taught special needs children. . .if it keeps you sane it is absolutely worth it and it doesn't matter what you do in comparison to others! Sounds like you have her well-being in mind and that's all that matters!

I think it sounds very reasonable. She expects certains things but they aren't big things.

It's all about picking your battles. If you are really worried about how much you are spending, start next month and tally up. Then compare it to how many video games/clothes and other typical stuff she would use if she acted more her age. You are probably still way ahead.

Think about, either act on it or move on and then RELAX!!!
It's tough having an sn kid but we don't love them any less!
Sue

Well, with a typical toddler, I end up spending a lot to keep her busy. But with her Aspie older brother, I do invest in things to help his handwriting, reading, etc. And when he started getting into Bionicles and Transformers, we found it great for his analytical skills, along with his motor skills, so we have invested in things there.

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Thank you for the input. I feel better now.

My oldest son has cerebral palsy and I spend a ton more on him than on my typical son. Medical stuff alone is HUGE. But also on other things. Example, if I want him to be able to pour himself his own drink, to be more independent, I have to buy a teeny little jugs that are small enough for him to handle for pouring, and fill them with water, milk, kool aid, whatever. That was a pretty cheap expense, but all of his little things add up. He has some sensory issues and flips out over the tastes of certain toothpastes. So I have to buy him a certain kind even if it's not on sale.

I don't sweat it (and try not to think about it!) I do what helps him and the rest of us get through the day.

I think that is just normal to spend more on special needs children than you normally would.

I think (I know in my case with two) I tried to make up to them for being different any way I could. Thank Goodness that my daughter understood that because her brothers were "different" they needed more at the time than she did.

Just do what you have to do to make her life enjoyable!

I think I've spent more money as well as time with my SN kid. I'd look for hours for sweatjackets that he could zip, velcro shoes big enough for him, a backpack that didn't rub him, etc. etc. This summer, I have to drive mine to summer school. I look at gas prices heading towards $4 a gallon and I'll be making two round trips each and every day.

Like the others said, it's entirely worth it. I figure if God blessed me with this child, he'll give me whatever I need to raise him. (patience, love, money) although sometimes I wish for more of all!