I have a friend who has a 3 year old dd, who is very limited on her expressive language, does not talk at all, has been diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder (she will not play with anyone- clings to her mom). They saw a developmental pediatrician who said there was no autism or asperger's. She has been receiving speech therapy for over 1 year now. Has no fine or gross motor delays at all.
She is attending a pre-school for children with delays (with the full spectrum of delays here) and the school psychologist performed a standard IQ test. The results came back at 62 (you need to be above 70) and they told the mother this could be mild retardation. There is no way this child is suffering from retardation.
Does anyone have any opinions, suggestions, anything -- steps the parents should take, MD's taking, school taking? Anything?

Thanks for listening.

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I can sympathize with your friend. I have a 6 yo son who has been diagnosed with both anxiety and expressive language delay. He was tested this year and his IQ came in at 78 (borderline retarted). I know my son and he is NOT retarted. Honestly, I think the expressive language delay and anxiety affect the testing so I don't put much faith in the actual number they assigned. That being said, I still believe in getting him any and all the help I can to help him be successful. He recieves, OT, PT, ST and goes to a therapist once or twice a month (as I see necessary). My best advice for your friend is to trust her gut and do whatever she feels is right for her child. I would be happy to talk with her and answer any questions she may have. You can have her email me at sweepmom@comcast.net (just have her put mommysavers in the subject line so I don't think it is spam).

I am sorry I have no answers for you, outside of asking for a retest, because things don't add up for you. And what score showed the retardation? There are usually about 3 or 4 scores. If she can't express herself, then yes, her verbal expression score would be low and considered retarded, as the verbal expression is retarded (that word has been used to make fun of people for so long that people don't understand its underlying clinical meaning). However, what are the rest of the scores?

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Thank you both for answering. I tried to explain to my friend that because her dd is unable to express herself and has the anxiety issues, she is more reluctant to answer the questions. I suggested she get back in touch with the developmental pediatrician and get them involved so more.

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Perhaps she needs to seen another developmental pediatrician. She should also contact her regular pediatirician to see what services are available. (my son got early intervention at 2 1/2, at 3 he went into the school system and recieved services through them free of cost). She may also want to look into a psychologist that specializes in children. I know, for me, having someone to observe my son and give me practical ideas on what to do is a big help.

Also, my son's psycologist gave me a book to read. I haven't read it yet so I don't have firsthand experience with it, but your friend might find it helpful. It is "Help For Worried Kids" - How your Child Can Conquer Anxiety and Fear by Cynthia G. Last, PhD.

Another bit of advice that helped my son early on was to learn some basic sign language to help him communicate.