My heart is breaking at the moment and I would like to cry I just don't know how anymore. My 17 yr old DD was officially diagnosed with bipolar. She is in a residential treatment facility because we just can't keep her safe from herself and we are not safe with her in the home either. For the last 5 years her diagnosis has been mood disorder NOS along with a host of other things. Now it just seems so final, she will never outgrow this, meds will be the only way we can keep her stable. I know it's doable and she can live a normal life but she has no accountablity for her actions. This just totally scares me to death and I blame myself for this even though it's nothing I had control over. But she's my daughter the one I chose to keep and brought into this world. I question myself as to what I could have done different or if she would have been better off being given up for adoption. I know in my head that no nothing would have been different but my heart hurts.

I know she could have a diagnosis for so many worse things but I also worry about her 3 younger sisters and if this is what their future holds too. I know God will only give us as much as we can handle but I'm getting do tired I just wish he could give me a little break.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I really don't know what else to say. I will pray for you and your family- that God will give you strength and wisdom.

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I am so very sorry. That is a tough diagnosis to take. But please remember this was something that you had no control over and you did nothing wrong. Bipolar is genetics. Also, please remember it is also something that can be controled, to a degree, with medications and threapy.

I wish you the best for your daughter and your family.

BTW, I have worked with a few bipolar students and I'm always willing to listen if you find you want to PM someone.

I worked as a therapist in a residential treatment facility for teens - probably just like the one that your daughter is in. Actually, it is probably good that she got that diagnosis - assuming that it is correct. Because now she can be given the right meds and the right therapy.

Yes, genetics are a huge component to this illness. All you can do is love her thru this and loving her thru this will more than likely mean playing hard ball with her as well. Keep her accountable. Remember, your job as a mom is to also keep your other 3 daughters safe from her dangerous behaviors and her dangerous mindset. As horrible as this sounds, relax. Probably for the first time in about 5 years right? It is ok. You need a break.

Please feel free to ask me any questions or PM me.

My eldest niece was placed at a facility when she was about 14. She had been in and out of social workers & child psychology offices since she was around 4 or 5, and all she did was learn how to say what they wanted to hear, wrap them around her little finger, and get them to start pointing to her parents as the problem. She finally ran away from the center at around 17. At 20 she came back with an infant, begging for another chance. She blew that chance as well.

After YEARS of relationship building and breaking, tons of counseling, she is now fairly stable, married, mother of 2. Is she mom of the year? No. Does anyone in the family trust her 100%? Hell no. Does she stay on her meds? Most of the time. Is she difficult when she goes off her meds? Yes.

But after all these years, we once again welcome her and her family to our homes and parties, for her children. We realize that all the stuff she put the family through was because of mental illness and not her fault. And, quite simply, we're amazed that she survived, didn't prostitute herself, didn't get on drugs, and actually got her GED. She really tries hard to be a good mom.

It won't be an easy road for you or your daughter. Chances are she will continuously take herself off the meds time and again over her lifetime as she will not like the way they make her feel. She will miss the way she feels in her "manic" episodes. This is part of the illness, part of the cycle. Always love her, but protect your heart too. It will be hurt, and you will have to come to grips that you'll probably never have the close mother/daughter relationship you always dreamed of. But - you CAN have a relationship with her. My sister finally does with her daughter. It's not always easy, but better than we have ever imagined. My niece is 34 now. We are close - she is my goddaughter - I love her. But at a distance. Email is easiest. I do make sure to have close and fun weekends with her children. I'd never want to have issues with their mom mean they miss out on positive aspects of the family.

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I was just going to type this. Now that she has a diagnosis, you can move forward in solving the problem... That's a GOOD thing! I know several adults that have been diagnosed at one point or another, all of whom are GREAT people to be around. The teen years are difficult enough, which I'm sure compounds the problem, but realize that she can go on to have a normal, stable, productive, happy life.

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I'm sorry. I'm sure that would be a hard diagnosis for any mother to hear. Hopefully now that they have an accurate diagnosis the meds will help stabilize her moods. Just try to make sure she stays on them. The number one problem I've heard about bi-polar is that once the people start feeling better then they want to take themselves off the meds. If they do that, then they'll spiral out of control again. I wish you good luck!

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i'm so sorry about the diaganosis but knowledge is power and you now will have better skills and information to help your dd live the best life possible..dh has many family members that have bi-polar some do very well on medication they take responisbility for their lives.. its a process of trial and error there will be many bumpy roads ahead you just have to do the best you can and you will have to give some tough love at points but in the end its all in her best interest.. good luck and many thoughts and prayers with you during your journey ahead.

There was a story on the front page of my paper last night about a local woman w/ bipolar. She was 50, low income, on the verge of suicide when she called a suicide hotline & got referred to some county mental health agencies for low-income folks w/o insurance. She said it saved her life. She had gone all 50 years with NO diagnosis - all sorts of problems with her relationships, holding jobs, etc. They put her on meds & she said she's never had her life so together. She is now working at the agency. Her daughter is quoted as saying she makes sure her mom will always take the meds because she finally has a mother now & she won't let it go. It was a real feelgood story - this woman lived SO LONG in misery w/ this disease, and she is so much better now that she is on meds. I hope that is how it works out for your daughter.

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My sister was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 10 years ago. It has changed every one of our lives since we are a fairly close family. The biggest part of her illness is that she has mastered the art of manipulating others. Oh, the stories I could tell. Some of them are not pretty, and quite embarassing. This remains a challenge for us all day today, effecting each one of us differently.

You will have to step out on your faith with this. You've already been through so much, and there's more to come. You'll be surprised where your strength will come from. I'm so glad you came here for support. Please continue, we're all here for you.

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