I just wanted to say "thanks" for everyones well meaning words of encouragement. I ment to say thanks last week but I'm sad and I'm tired.

DD's whole diagnosis is Bipolar NOS and Borderline Personality Disorder. The diagnosis explains so much about her and that all the things that we have been through are not entirely her fault. But mental illness is just so taboo in our society that I need to learn how to cope and educate our immediate family.

DD is in a great treatment facility and hopefully they can eduacate us and help DD learn life skills to make this diagnosis not become who she is.

You must be so drained right now. You and your family are in my prayers.

Things will be great for yourself and your family. Let the treatment play its course and in no time you will find a new normal. You're in my prayers

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You must be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

I am so glad to hear that she is getting help. Bipolar AND Borderline Personality Disorder is a lot to take. My husband has a brother that is bipolar and both of his sisters fall in the borderline personality disorder (truthfully I think his mother could fall under that catagory as well but she doesn't go see a doctor).

With the help that she is receiving and with you educating yourself and your family, it is possible to live with. Believe it or not. I even see both of my SIL's making a lot of progress lately with their lives (one is in her early 30's and the other in her late 20's) but they never had learned about the borderline issue until recently and just started receiving help in the past couple of years.

But by educating yourself on the borderline issue -- it really does help you in communicating with these people. I've learned a lot about dealing with my SILs and, for me, learning how to communicate with them has corrected a lot of our problems.

It's good that she's getting treatment now. My niece who is bi-polar still goes off her meds at times but she's great when she's on them. My other niece had a psychotic break a few years back while at Dartmouth. She was hospitalized for a couple months, then put in an outpatient facility. I'm not really sure what the outcome was (my brother doesn't talk about it) but that personality disorder was mentioned. She's been in outpatient treatment for several years and has been doing very well.

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My biggest hurdle will be DH. He has no idea of her diagnosis and thinks that she is fine and should come home. He has had his head up his a$$ for so many years that he really has no clue to the reality of life with her and the struggles she will have in the future. (He has worked evenings for so many years and doesn't want to bother himself with these things.)

If anyone could recommend some good reading material that would be great.

I would suggest your dh meet with the psychiatrist staff to help him understand what the diagnosis entails. He might believe it more if it came from them than from you.

I hope that the treatment center will be able to regulate her meds and get her back to a happy daughter you can bring home. HUGS>

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I found a few websites that were useful to me but it has been sometime since I've read.

Borderline Personality Disorder Family Section

"Stop Walking on Eggshells" is supposed to be THE book on borderline for family members. There also was a great book talking about having a mother with borderline -- not your problem but I found it had a lot of information. I don't remember it's name. And another book, "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" I think that one is pretty good as well.

Perhaps getting your husband to read it might help. He needs to see that if you do bring her home right now that she will not get the help she needs and will make life completely miserable for the rest of your family.

I'm so sorry you aren't getting the support you need and deserve. My DH finally came around after 5 years and realized how much he'd let me down by not being a partner in this and making me do everything, and feel, alone. Men just live in denial. "If I don't acknowledge it, it's not real." I agree about making sure he's there on the Dr. appts. He should never be too busy for his kids. Knowledge is power. Men hate to feel powerless, and if they don't have the knowledge, that is how they feel, so they avoid it. He needs knowledge. And to stop leaving you alone. Heart to heart time?

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