My pediatrician suggested that we read up on ODD. She doesn't want to label our son and she doesn't think he needs to be evaluated. She thought we might find some good pointers in how to deal with certain aspects of our 4 year old that parallel a child with ODD.

I am reading "The Dificult Child" right now.

TIA

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Not sure if you meant ADD? But schwablearning.org is a great website for children with learning disabilities and behavior problems.

What is ODD?

oppositional difiance disorder - sorry I should have included that.

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ask.com might have something on the subject, also i still think schwablearning.org might be helpful too.

thank you, I will definitely check both out.

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thanks I will look at this tomorrow, no time tonight

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My son's preschool teacher tried to label him ODD in the first week before she got to know him!! Thankfully, his dev. pediatrician squashed that right away. In my son's case, he simply had a difficulty with transition. Unfortunately, people are quick to diagnose this without looking further. What kind of doctor is this? This is something a developmental pediatrician or psychotherapist should diagnose, as like Aspergers, autism, etc., it's not a "medical" condition, but a physical and mental one, which is not to say there's anything wrong with the child's brain, but a medical doctor is not an expert in the functioning of the brain. It's like having your car's mechanic work on the driver because the car is not steering correctly. Does that make sense? Your insurance company can help you find a developmental pediatrician or psychotherapist. In my case, I found psychotherapists and psychologists that would take my son only after a developmental pediatrician did the diagnosis. I respect people more when they admit their limitations, rather than mis-diagnosing.

Bottom line, I wouldn't be so quick to take in that diagnosis. Having a doctor tell me to read up on something that they aren't willing to make a diagnosis on seems like, "Hmmm. You might have breast cancer (if there weren't actual medical tests to verify it). Read up on it just in case." That would scare me as a mom. I know a little about this, only because I looked into it before I found our doctors. What are the symptoms? For many reasons, children with Aspergers are often thought to have ODD. However, I do know some children that do actually have diagnosed cases of it that are not autistic but are ADHD, so I don't know if there's actually a real pattern.

Thanks for referring to the Difficult Child book. It made me check it and others like it out on Amazon. It looks like one to add to my collection. Little Diva is a very demanding baby, as ds was. She is not as sensitive to certain things as he was and her motor skills are pretty good in other areas, although he walked earlier.

My neighbor's ds has just recently been diagnosed with ODD. At least that's what his therapist is saying. She is now taking him to a dev. ped and he's agreeing at this point. We've been neighbors since he was born so I've seen him progress along with my kids. I've always thought there was something going on and honestly, I really thought he had Aspergers for awhile. He can be a very nice kid on the most part but when he is told not to do something that he wants to do, he can fly off the handle like you wouldn't believe. I've never seen such anger in a child before.
He just started Kindergarten this year and was having some tough times the first two weeks. Our school has a green/yellow/orange/red card rule. Basically, all kids are on green and if they stay on green for the week, they get to pick a toy at the end of the week. If they start to act out and they're warned then eventually they'll need to turn their card to yellow. Basically, red gets them to the principle. If their card is turned during the week then they can't pick a toy at the end.

Anyway, he was having a terrible time trying to meet those goals coming home almost everyday with a yellow or orange card so after his parents met with the school they made the goals more attainable. Basically he gets a green card after he meets each activity throughout the day (hang coat, sit in circle, etc) It's been about two weeks now and he seems to be doing really well.

My only thing about that is that he gets a reward for everything? I asked my neighbor what will happen when he doesn't get a reward when he gets to first or second grade? I mean, he's not going to do it b/c he wants to, that's for sure. She said the doctor said eventually they'll start expecting him to do two things before a reward and then three things. Then, eventually, he won't need the reward. I guess they know more than I do.

IMO- I would get your child looked at by someone who is skilled at special needs children. It sounds like your ped isn't equipped, as most aren't in special areas. I've seen this boy have difficulties along the way (he was removed from two preschools) and I think his parents should've gotten him help a long time ago (my opinion again, not trying to be judgmental.) Good luck.

momofpa, thanks for your post. Many parents don't get help for their kids because they don't know they can - don't know where to turn. In our case, I felt something was off, but maybe he was just more spirited and his pediatrician said he was fine and I was worrying too much. There's also that denial thing. My family has the motto that if you look for a problem, you'll find it. Ummm, I wasn't looking for a problem, but a solution.

Regarding the reward system, actually, with a good IEP in place, they can continue on the reward system in first, second and higher grades. The goals start out to be attainable and slowly inch up to the more difficult. It actually helps increase the child's self esteem. One rule we have, as I didn't want my kid to tout his reward around in front of others, is that he can't show it off, except to his family or close friends after school, and must put it in his backpack immediately. His teachers are good about that. None of us wants the jealousy to kick in. So yes, eventually no reward will be needed in the certain areas, but we all use rewards in life. It's just a matter of when, for what, and what is the reward. In my case, if he went a whole week with perfect scores on his chart, he would get a certain reward, like a certain Bionicle or an outing like the zoo, etc. It took some time and training, and making attainable goals, but he did it. Now expectations rise, both from us, and from him to himself, which is the goal: self control and self reward.