My 9 year old son Austin has Asperger's or High functioning Autism. They never could come up with a diagnosis. A year ago he was taken out of his old school since they couldn't handle his melt downs and his tics scared them.
We moved to another school in our district that our former principal was principal of now. She knew Austin and welcomed him into a small classroom. It is a behavioral class with 7 other kids. Some undiagnosed, most with ADHD. None with Autism. There is one non verbal autistic child in the school but her parents demand mainstreaming. Sometimes when I look at how others treat her, I think at least others know what is wrong, With my son they think he is just rude, weird or having a seizure.

It is not an ideal situation yet I like the support he is getting and I like his teacher. SHe is young though and I just received another one of those letters. Some of you moms may know this one " I love having your child in my class but... " Well I guess he was stiming 20 times in an hour. fingers flapping, eyes crossed, jaw dropping, stiff shoulders. Usually this happens when he is excited or stressed. Well she now feels uncomfortable and thinks it requires medical attention.
Austin already as had a series of tests to rule out ADHD, tourette's and epilepsy.
When I asked my ds why he feels the need to stim so much, he had a complete melt down. Tears, saying that wishes he was normal and that he hated being autistic.
My question is this; Do your kids have tics or stim? Do they get worse at times. My husband was home all summer after breaking his wrist and couldn't work, Now he is working two jobs. I have just gave my notice after 9 years of working as a florist. Could it be the change of routine. I mean I know that is what it probably is. I also have noticed he and his sister arguing alot more. Teenage girls tend to be self absorbed and I can't baby him all the time.
When we were in our last school all the doctors sent the diagnosis to be placed in his file. Shouldn't they still be there? I did the route last year of calling his Ped. his Neurologist the school etc. What other tests can they do? Have any of your kids have had much luck with meds for tic and or stress?
I can not believe the lack of information our special needs teachers have. She was sent to a conference but they focused on low functioning autism. I would think after all this time that a young teacher would have some knowledge of what our children are going through.

I know this is long but I do appreciate any advice or experiences you are willing to share. I always try to help other parents but when it comes to your own child you second guess yourself.
Thanks so much,
Mitzi

I've never heard the term stim, but yes, my son does have tics. They were really bad in kindergarten, and some were in preschool - eyebrow lifts, etc. When he's tired or stressed, they come back. If he is rushed, especially by us, he has to back up and touch a wall or floor. My brother had them, also. I've heard some meds can help, but when you're talking Aspergers, rather than ADD, I don't know if they are useful; only your doctor can tell you. We're where you are: the doctor is saying he's high functioning autistic or Aspergers or both, and is not definitive. The Aspergers book I has helped me identify that he leans more on the Aspergers side. He only really flaps his hands when he's excited, but it really doesn't seem unusual...however, I've noticed the "limp wrist" thing recently, and I'm trying to think of how to counsel him not to do it, since it's not appropriate at age six. It's so natural for him, I don't want it to stress him, but better me than his peers.

I like my son's teacher this year, too, but she is not perfect. I admire her for trying, taking him under her wing and working with me. However, I do need to push some issues, and I'm really trying to keep her in my corner. It's so hard, but the utmost thing in my mind is not to have them like me, but to give the best service to my son. It's a fine line. I'm wondering if a meeting is what you need right now with the teacher, the resource teacher (I so hope you have a good one) and the principal. She is complaining about things that he can't control (except with therapy, and, ummm, she is not a therapist). She has got to get over herself and learn how to control the situation calmly. You can say, "OK, you must sit down now." Calm reminders really do help, and Aspergers children have to know (and be reminded of) the rules. They usually are very responsive then. She is in no position to "control" the OCD, but occupational therapy, funded throught the school can help. However, I would also check with your insurance company and look for outside therapy to help make him socially acceptable. Our new therapist recommended I also go through my husband's EAP plan to get the first few appointments with no copay, and then, after those visits (she thinks there's like eight to 20 allowed), switch to the regular medical plan with the copay. This teacher needs to do some research to understand your son. Perhaps your doctor, or even through your independent research, can give her some things to read about the condition. OCD does often go hand in hand with children on the autism spectrum. After being kowtowed by a strong (and, I'm finding, often wrong) kindergarten teacher that seemed a good teacher to non-Asperger children, I'm learning to be my child's best advocate and to try to get the entire train behind me in the push for his education. I'm no longer shy and accepting about things. Hey, I just got my tax bill for next year. 80% of it is for education! I'm lucky to be in the best district in the state, with good teachers and administrators at a smaller school. Yet, if I'm struggling with the good things I have, I can just imagine the struggles others who aren't so lucky or haven't had the resources for research and medical backup have.

Thank you for your support on my other issue. Many things you said hit the nail on the head. He's definitely in denial, just like he's always been about my depression (I still think he is a huge trigger for it - not the cause, but a huge trigger).

Thank you so much for your reply. I didn't even know that his stim/tics condition had a name. I am planning another IEP meeting after my last day of work on the 31st. I am leaving my job after 9 years to concentrate on home. I am not suzy homemaker so this should be interresting. I think posting on this site will keep me sane.

I do believe he needs more therapy. Right now he is in speech ( not that he needs it) and in social group therapy where they act out different situations. I think this is fine, But I think he needs more OT.

I wasn't sure how many kids on the spectrum have tics and for awhile have been 2nd guessing the doctors on his full diagnosis. Thanks for sharing your experience.
As for the advice I gave you, Just remember if it doesn't feel right, it isn't right and that this is life not a dress rehearsal. You deserve everything you want and need in your life. It is just up to you, to decide how you are going to get it.

Please keep in touch and take care,
Mitzi

One thing you mentioned is speech, not that he needs it. If he's like my son, he probably has a wide vocabulary. In my son's case, speech therapy is focusing more on taking in the information, not just putting it out. In his case, I'm hoping they teach him to edit himself and not just blurt what's in his brain. He has auditory issues where he processes what's said to him more slowly. (Is it a guy thing?:D ). His speech evaluator just notified me that she'd like to go over his results with me later this month. I'm quite interested in what she has to say.

I find my DS (8 yo, with high functioning autism/sensory/ADD) "stims" more when he is unsure, unstructured or over-stressed. To help this, we are very scheduled/structured to try to limit his stiming. We name /label it, point out that he is doing it and tell him when he CAN stim. When I pick him up from school, he is allowed to "chatter" (we call all his stimming "chattertalk") in the car for the ride home. I find that after holding it together at school or whatever the social situation, he needs the release. He is very rule oriented, so we tell him where he CAN stim as well as where he CANNOT stim, using the "rule is" sequence. Example, The rule is we don't chatter at the dinner table, but you can chatter for 10 minutes after dinner and while I clean the kitchen. He has excellent memorization skills so he usually repeats the "rule" and follows them.

Also kids on the spectrum usally have very good visual skills, so have you thought of creating a written or pictures schedule with the teacher? Then he can schedule time to "stim" privately or in a seculed place. Again, when my son doesn't know what to expect - the unstructured - he stims which is comforting to him in his world of the big unknown.

Not sure if these suggestions can help, but good luck. I have learned a lot of it is trial and error.

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Debbie

"Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." --Benjamin Franklin

I could have written this post. Another "lightbulb" moment......

I'm pretty new to all of this so I don't have advice for anyone. But I just want to say that you moms are wonderful!

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The mighty oak started out as a nut that held its ground.

I have a 9 year old son with autism. He is between high functioning and the middle of the spectrum. He was in regular Ed for Kindergarden. He went through one on one aids and finaly found the perfect match. He was thriving! But, because of "budget cuts" the aid was bumped and he was given another aid and a new resource room teacher. Well to make a long story short the school did not want him and did everything in their power to get him out.
He is now in a A/I classroom and doing awesome.
Anyway, please remember that these regular ed teachers graduate from college not knowing how to deal with our kind of kids. Nothing in college requires them to.
First of all I would try to find a child advocate in your area to have them go to your IEP with you. I would also take as many people who can go that are involved in your son's life. I would also REQUIRE, meaning have it written in the IEP that he is allowed "stim" time at school. You need to have how many times per day and exactly how long. You can also say that you want to "revisit" that part to slowly reduce the stim time. But the teacher needs to realize that if he doesn't have that time to release that energy and regroup that what she see's now is nothing compared to what it could me. He could start having melt downs or worse.
I would also ask the OT about deep pressure or the "Willbarger" (spelling???) brushing. There is so much they can do for a sensory diet to help cut down on the stimming.
Don't ever be afraid to advocate for your children. I know that these so called "professonals" intimidate us parents sometimes because they have degrees, and I have met a few that will throw their degrees in my face. I just tell them that I realize that they went to school for a long time and worked very hard to get their degrees. But I kindly remind them I also have a degree, it's called a birthcertificate. And I am constantly applying credits to my degree and class time is 24/7.
Good luck. I could go on forever.
I will keep you in my thoughts and Prayers.

I thought his stims were do to the schedule changing. I never thought about allowing him a time to stim. I just told him when it wasn't approperate. He does it at home when excited. I have a feeling the stims at school are because of stress. They do have a time out corner. It isn't used for punishment, It has a rug and bean bag, animals and stress toys in a divided part of the room. I guess we could schedule time for him to go in there to stem and calm down or when he just feels the need. Although I don't know what we will do when they try to mainstream him.
Thanks for the advice!

Your problems at school sounded like mine last year. Luckily our former principal moved to a new school that had a behavior class. She cut the strings and just called up our old school and said I am taking Austin back. Set up a IEP so we can make it official. ( OUr first school after she left sent him to the office for steming and having meltdowns) Now he is a behavioral class. With a special ed teacher. She just doesn't know anything about autism. I have to give her credit, She did attend a conference trying to help my son. Her questions were just not addressed. She also worries about his emotions and his self esteem. Something the other school ( other than his 2nd grade teacher ) did not care about.
I think I will keep him in the SE class at least until Christmas break. Maybe we figure out a schedule by then. One nice thing is if they main stream him, They can do it for a just a half day or a certain subject. That way he always can go back to his SE class where he feels safe to be himself.
I like what you said about the professionals, their degrees and thinking they always know best. I hope you don't mind but I may use your lines down the road if needed. Thank you so much for the support.