Do you have it in your will where your children will go if something happened to you and your spouse?

I feel bad because we really have nobody we'd trust our kids with, and it's really a disservice. Having a child with Special Needs creates special challenges. I'm sure certain people would be better than the foster care system if something happened to us, but there's just nobody I'd want to give them to! One of our family members is interested, and financially, they'd be the best option, but she has her own issues and no patience. She even blocks out her own son's special needs. We only have one other couple we'd consider, but even they have their own issues. In truth, I'd be afraid to ask them! Both sets of parents would be no consideration whatsoever. We want our kids happy.

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We have no plans. My plan is to pray every night that God keeps me alive and with my kids for as long as they need me. There is no one I know who could handle both my kids and meet their needs. My SN son has of course his needs, but his brother has a unique set of needs being the sibling to a person with SN. Nobody seems to get that around here.

We made our will a couple years back and decided then who would get our children if anything happened to DH and I both. I hope we never have to put that will to use, but at least we know our kids will be with who we wanted, and not what some court may have decided was best.

Do you have life insurance? Maybe that could widen your choices if there was someone you would like to do it, but they didn't have the money to support them.
I don't know if I could consider my 7th grader special needs, but she has an attention problem, and I am homeschooling her. I hope for her to return to public school for highschool, but if left to our family, I don't think anyone in our family would be willing to do that. We have at least 3 sets of friends that we would trust, but one has 6 kids, another has 2 grown kids, has done foster care in the past and has adopted 3 more kids, and the last set, well, I just don't know if they could do it. They only have 2, but I just don't know. We need to figure something out though, and we have to get life insurance. We keep putting it off.

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Yes we have a Will. If something happens to dh and I, my mom will get custody, and if something happens to her, my cousin and his wife will get custody. I am lucky because I have a big family and we are all very close, so there are plenty of people we could leave them with. I would not risk having them go into the foster care system.

I'm sorry this is so long, but having dealt with foster care in a few ways--I feel strongly about this.

Yes, we have a plan. We're in the process of updating and hate doing that, but--I'm going to be blunt--it is the grown up thing to do. I'm sorry to put it like that, but we mommysavers try to help each other, so I want you to do what is best for you and your sweet family.

In the horrible event something makes you & your spouse unable to care for your kids, their world crumbles! However, your love and caring can outlast you! Give up on trying to find the "perfect" parent--you can't! You need to find someone "good enough". Otherwise, chance could lead your beloved child into the hands of someone awful. Child Services try to weed out cruddy foster parents--but it doesn't always happen. A safe, compassionate home--even with some "issues" is better than abusive and exploitative--which is possible if you do nothing. In the mean time, be as safe and healthy as you can be so you see your great-grandkids someday!

If you put a plan in writing of everything you want for them (maybe stuff like, "Keep kids in same school" or "continue to bring to same church" or "use % of insurance money for college" or whatever)...the people who care for your child will need to do everything in their power to honor those wishes. Put in your style of parenting and express your family values too.

If you absolutely know no loving parents, you may want to join some more parenting groups or a new church or something, b/c there are great people in this world.

Also, consider listing people who you don't want to care for the kids. No apologies and no embarassment (you'll be gone, so who cares--right? All that matters at that point is the kids). You don't want a wacky relative who is a bad parent to claim that they should have custody of a child--especially if you know that person is abusive.

We have a living trust. Everything is totally spelled out.
We have plenty of life insurance to take care of the children so it will not be a financial burden on the family caring for them. We have it set up so that they can have our house or sell it and use it for a different house or addition to their house to accomadate the children. They will have a monthly allowance and will go to the lawyer (who the trust is with) for extra money they need. ( you never know what will pop up out of the blue.... glasses, braces, prom dresses, cars, etc.)
Believe it or not my husband and I did not have anyone in our families that we wanted to raise our children. Our sitter and husband (who loves them like her own and is incredible with them) is in our will to take the children. I should also say that our children love them too.

It is something that is very important to me that I know they will be taken care of physically, emotionally and financially.