Dh has been on strike 1 week as of tomorrow. As we knew that most likely this strike would happen we have been savings/planning for this for almost a year. I'd pretty much budgeted for 2 1/2 months of no pay for DH but me working like always. I found out the beginning of October that I won't have a job come Jan 1 . In much budget I forgot about health insurance. Our health insurance will most likely end the end of October unless DH company takes back their payment to our insurance company and then we are out of insurance. We can take out Cobra insurnace but I have no idea how much that will cost. I've been stressing about this for about 2 weeks and am praying that a contract will be signed but there is a layoff at the sister plant across the state so my hope is dwindling fast.

Well I spoke to our case worker from the insurance company yesterday because she for got to inform me about a meeting this morning. She asked how things were going and because I'm feeling really stressed and am filled with anxiety I actually told her how bad things really are on the home front. DD #1 will be 16 the end of Oct has been skipping school, leaving the house unannounced, and generally showing her independence way more than is appropriate. DD #2 is having major anxiety attacks & told me this weekend that she is having suicidal thoughts. (Called both the psychiatrist & psychologist.) DD #3 will not be able to stay in Headstart because she is too smart and we make to much money.:D (Not anymore) She also being very mean to her little sister pushing and hitting her. DD #4 is reverting back to biting herself and others and is driving me batty with all the climbing and falling off of things. I'm gonna need insurance for just all the silly accidents that she's happening. On top of no insurance at the end of the month becasue I didn't budget for it. Loosing OT and the mother's helper that we have because we don't have insurance, prescriptions run around $600 a month, psch visits & pschology visits. Loosing my job in Jan. I pretty much spilled my guts out to her yesterday. I haven't even told DH all my worries and what's going on with the girls cause he's stressing about his job.

I feel like such a complete failure as a mom because I can't provide for all their needs, I can't fix all their problems, I didn't budget for insurance, and because I finally broke down yesterday. I think I may need some happy pills pretty soon before I crack but wait a second I won't have insurance to pay for the doc or the happy pills.

Sorry this is so long and rambly I just don't have anyone to talk to and I'm not sure if I can mentally weather all this stuff on my own. DH isn't any help he just sticks his head in the sand. I really am starting to understand why people get a divorce when kids have medical conditions.

Actually, I think you did pretty darn good in your budgeting. You are far from a failure. I know I couldn't budget the way you did with the loss of dh's income. He needs to be more of a partner more than ever right now. IMO, you should sit him down without the kids and explain that you need support. I know exactly what you mean about the mental part. Please, please don't put yourself last. You are the glue that holds this family together, and from the symptoms, it sounds like the kids are feeling their parents' stress. This is not your fault, but you CAN be part of the solution. It sounds like a family meeting is in order. Get the kids to the Dr. while you have insurance. Cobra is an option, but an expensive one. Also, talk to your doctors - I'll bet they can work something out for you during this time, like a deferred payment plan or a much lower fee, looking at the bigger picture. It's definitely worth asking about. My chiro split my copays in half once when I needed frequent visits. Also, check with your state's insurance plan and get that paperwork started right away. AND, get dh out looking for a job. I know he has the loyalty thing, union rules, yadda, yadda, yadda, but that's not feeding his family. Have him delivery pizzas if he has to! I don't see the union feeding you, taking care of your bills and insuring you, so his first duty is to his family. And, honey, if you need happy pills to get you through this, do it. With your oldest, sit her down privately and try to enlist her help so you're both on the same side. Let her know how valuable she is and how you need her help and cooperation now more than ever. Tell her you don't want to have to resort to punishment, but you will, and it will be very strong, but you want her to be an important part of helping the family, rather than her pulling in the opposite way. Those kids are feeling the stress. DH cannot go a single day longer with his head in the sand. He needs to get a game plan together NOW. You do not need another child right now; you need a man. And sometimes a man has to swallow his pride to do the right thing and look at the big picture. IMHO, he may want to look at getting out of under a union's thumb (my dad's a big union guy - VP and all, so I've seen the power they have and damage they can cause - they are necessary in some cases, but if there are layoffs going on, dh can't wait this out), and look elsewhere, even a career change with more schooling, if necessary. I know EXACTLY what you're going through because my dh's company may be bought out. He works for the headquarters and if it's bought out, I doubt very much if they would keep his position. I have no idea how we would survive if he lost his job. He wants a new job, but that fire hasn't been quite lit. He's been nosing around, but that's about it. Sometimes it takes great anger or fear to get them going, but the first try should be through confidence. Build up his ego so he feels so good about himself he needs no crutch and can start searching now. Even a menial job or a few part time jobs are better than just unemployment. Good luck to you, and pull those kids in tight for extra hugs. I so wish you could stay home, but the reprieve of work is probably good for you. Hugs and best wishes to you. Hang in there..Use every resource you can get to get through this. Talk to your church, friends, family, etc. You may get some volunteer help. Please keep us updated.

__________________
Make someone's heart smile today.

You are entitled to let it all out, and it's a good thing to do. Leaving it bottled up inside makes it worse. Know that you have a very supportive group of ladies here that will hold you up in prayer and encouragement. Can/will your husband take on another job during this whole strike issue? Maybe seasonal help even? I know it won't fix everything, but it might take a little pressure off by giving you some money for insurance. Check to see if your state has a Children's Health Insurance group. PA has one, and I'm guessing every state probably does, but I don't really know. If you're under income restrictions your kids can get free healthcare through the state. I think they might also take extra consideration if your child/children has medical conditions and/or is on medications. You may think you make too much, but check into it. Often you get breaks on things and then suddenly you qualify. It won't hurt to make a phone call. Also, check into COBRA and how much it will cost you. I had to go on COBRA for a bit, but I can't recall how much it cost. Check sooner rather than later b'c you have a time limit on how long you have to get it and I don't remember if you have to allot time for the paperwork to process or not. (It was years ago and I was pregnant so my brain is foggy of the details. Sorry) If you can get your kids on the child health insurance program through the state or even medical assistance (again make the call and see if there are any breaks for you with everything you got going on and all the expenses you have of meds, etc), then you may just be able to get COBRA for you and your husband. This is all assuming that your DH loses his job. I'm not forecasting that he will, I'm just saying you're better off knowing what options you have to take and calling someone to cancel some insurance coverage, rather than waking up one morning and having nothing and another world of stress on your shoulders. Do yourself a favor and give yourself some peace of mind by making a few phone calls now. It'll be worth it, believe me.
Also, if you're a believer, pray. And pray specifically. The Lord tells us to come unto everything with prayer and supplication according to our every need. Figure out your specific needs and pray for each one. There is amazing power in prayer, as many others on here can attest to. I'll be praying for you too.
Try to hold yourself high. And remember you need to make some time for yourself. Whether it's grocery shopping alone, going into town to put gas in your car and grab a coffee & sit in the parking lot for 15 minutes of YOU time, taking a bath late at night when everyone's asleep, showering before they all get up.. whenever it is, you need to focus on making some time for you. Remember the saying "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"? Yea, it's true. You have to find self-encouragement and a release so you can keep going. It's not just suggested, it's necessary. If you need to vent some more, or have any prayer specifics, feel free to pm me. I love to listen.
God bless,
Amanda

__________________
~~Amanda~~ Mommy to one Little Man (3 1/2 yrs old), TTC #2

If your dh is allowed to work while on strike at another job, I'd have him get ANYTHING parttime until he gets called back. If they don't let him work, well then shame on them for not taking better care of their workers. The only thing I do know about COBRA is that it's pretty expensive. You should probably check just so you have the info in case he DOESN'T get called back before you lose your job. Also, since you know ahead of time you're going to lose your job, perhaps you could start looking now for something else also. Maybe you could find something else with benefits before Jan 1. HTH

__________________

Thanks for letting me vent. Not much has changed as far as the strike. There is talk that the guys maybe able to get unemployment because the company wouldn't let them work under the old contract thus locking them out of work. Dh has yet to make the call to sign up for unemployment and I'm not gonna hold my breath that he does that. On the lighter side the company and the union is suppose to start negotiating tomorrow. I will pray that this get resolved but I'm still going to plan on it not being.

I did talk with our case work yesterday and she said that if we do run out of insurance and have to take cobra she would take $500 out of our managed care plan for mental health budget to help for the insurance. She said she would also contact some community organizations to see if they would donate money for our insurance premium too. I still haven't heard how much Cobra will be but that does ease my mind a little that we should be ok for Novembers insurance. We are truly blessed to have this case worker.

DD #3 does not qualify for headstart because they seen very few of her sensory issues during class, her speech & motor skills are above avarage for the most part. They did notate that sleep issues will be a concern in the future for her and because her gag reflux is so bad in the morning she is overly hungry as the morning goes on. Lastly we make to much money. However they do have a spot open in the Friends Of the Community program until Xmas so she can continue on until then. DD #2 is having better thoughts and the anxiety has decreased a little with the increase of her meds. On thursday we will be increasing the meds again to hopefully get back to a normal level of anxiety for her. DD #1 is still being a pain but the warning was given so the ball is in her hands as to how she wants to act. I've decided that she is old enough to make decent choices otherwise face the consequences. No change for DD #4. I however made an appointment for happy pills but can't get in until the 31. I've also decided that I need to take total control of something and have decided that I am going to clean the house one romm at a time. I hit my bedroom last night and I feel a little better. Once again thanks for letting me vent I realy do appreciate it.