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Old 10-18-2006, 07:26 PM   #1
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tacoma_ranch
 
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Today I was reminded again about the NT world and the parents.

I took DS to his second Gymnastics class and today was not a good day. I had to go in several times to tell him how to behave and to get him focused and doing what the teacher said.

The teacher knows he has autism but not the other parents. I was getting the serious "look" from the other parents and I was about to cry. I finally just said that today is a bad autism day and shook it off.

Well, wouldn't you know that I was told by the NT parents all the things I should be doing for my son. I could have just screamed. Instead I thought this makes a good topic for todays tip.

Remember that other often offer up advice. They aren't trying to be know it alls, I think they just are trying to help me. As the parents of these wonderful children we need to remember to just smile and say thanks. The confrontation is not worth it in front of others.

I do plan to speak to the other parents one to one and explain more about what works for Ds and what doesn't. I hope to offer them education and insight.

Don't get mad, educate~ April
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Old 10-18-2006, 07:30 PM   #2
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Happymom
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Wow!!! You are great!! I really admire your attitude!!!
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Old 10-18-2006, 08:30 PM   #3
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Oh, sweetie, this is exactly what happened with us. I so admire your perseverence. We took ds to The Little Gym, and each week was 45 minutes of pure torture for us. He just wasn't ready. They had a no refunds policy, so after even speaking with them about how it may not be a good fit, they still wanted to try. He wouldn't follow direction, wanted to touch other kids and just play on the equipment on his own. He was three or four at the time. Finally a jerk parent asked if he could speak with me outside. He was huge and you could tell he was a bully type. My little guy kept trying to get his son's attention, so I'd already asked the teachers to try to keep them separate. This guy proceeded to go off on my on how he was paying so much money for these classes and didn't want the teachers' attention taken from his son to control mine. I told him I'd already spoken with the owner and she wanted to keep trying, and what would he advise (I was trying to be nice - opened myself up for that one, huh?). He said that wasn't his problem and that I should probably look into getting professional help for my son. This was after my son's pediatrician told me nothing was wrong with him and before I found out the school did do testing at that age and that there was an issue (Aspergers). I'm actually crying as I wrote this. I wasn't embarrassed for me, but worried about the future for my son. When I spoke with the owner again about this confrontation, she offered to refund my money and made the comment, "Well, Jules has spent a lot of money here." His son was older and this was our first go-round. Grrrr. Needless to say, now that he's older and CAN handle this, I will not ever take him there. I was actually pis*ed that my sil took her kids there after I told her about this. There are other choices and she's always pleading poverty. Bottom line is that it wasn't a good fit for that age. This was their business, their profession. They should have seen this and identified it, as I found other families who had to pull their kids for the same reasons.

Go ahead and try, but don't torture yourself or him if he wasn't ready. I did find out later that it was good I pulled him out if he wasn't enjoying it. I just wanted him to have some skills so he could blend in better on the playground in the park! Good luck to you. When money comes into play, others can be heartless. I understand their position, but some sensitivity in handling it is needed.
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:14 AM   #4
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I also usually take the advice offered by other parents and smile & thank them. If fact this week my mother's helper spoke with my DD #1's biology teacher to see how she was doing and if any assignments were missing. Well infact there are assignments missing and this teacher (2nd time taking this class with the same teacher) made the comment that if DD was his kid he'd make damn sure all the assignments were done & handed in. How there would be severe punishments if she was missing stuff and how he has the parent would have a talk with the teacher to make sure he knew what was going on. Well Heather (my mother's helper) looked at him and said we do make sure the assignments are finished when you allow them to take them home. It is only DD who can make sure that they are handed in and how many times has Mary (me the parent) called & emailed you to make sure she's getting the stuff done and handed in. How many times have we requested a syllabis so that we know when tests and assignements are due? Privileges are taken away all the time when assignments are late, a tutor has been hired to help with homework. What else can this family do except do the work for her? The teacher then looked at Heather and I guess you guys have your hands full and turned and walked away.
Heather called me so angry because she was at her wits end with this teacher. I told her all we can do is educate the teacher, reinforce the rules and offer support for DD. The rest is up to her. Then told her that this is one teacher for 1 school year and he will be a better teacher next time around because of our education to him.
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Old 10-19-2006, 03:45 PM   #5
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This teacher seems so heavy handed. Do you think it's worth a conference with the principal? Is dd happy?
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Old 10-20-2006, 11:39 AM   #6
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I have already had 2 meetings with the principal in less than a month. I spoke with DD's emotionally disturbed teacher yesterday about this and she will be talking to the biology teacher. October is the point where DD's work begans to slide and we really need to keep on her to get her work done & hand it in.
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:22 PM   #7
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Some people are so close minded. You're right. The teacher will be better for knowing your dd. People need to stop and realize that problems can happen to them or someone they love in an instant and everyone needs a lot more compassion. If only this was a perfect world...lol. You sound like a wonderful mother . Keep fighting!!
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